On a scale from 1 to weird...

[verycontrary247]

How weird would it be to bring/leave a pillow at a guys place you aren't in a relationship with?

I spend at least 1-2 nights a week there and his pillows are the fucking wooooorst. My neck/shoulders feel like death when I wake up. I don't want to bring my own pillow back and forth.

What says SO?

[winecat]

Is he a FWB?

[lexxasaurus]

I think it depends on the guy and your situation. If it was fairly consistent, which it sounds like it is, I think I'd tell them their pillows kill me and ask if I could toss one I like on the bed to leave there, that way sleepovers don't suck. A few nights a week of crap sleep has to get old fast!

[GilliC]

It sounds like you're fairly close, so I would probably just buy a pillow and give it to him saying, "Your pillows suck. I thought you could use this for when you have guests."

I did this for a friend who had shitty knives. (Correction: shitty knife, singular) I bought her a nice kitchen knife as a gift. Because then I can use it when I'm cooking at her place.

[daktor71]

This shouldn't even register on the scale.

I think if you brought one over or even bought one to leave, there shouldn't be any issues. Just come right out and tell him, hey your pillows are killing me over here!

It's not like you're moving in or anything, I've had a FWB a couple times now and I've let them leave clothes, tooth brushes, and so on here I don't see a pillow being any different.

[jojoandleo]

My only issue would be who could be using my pillow when I wasn't there? I have a weird thing with sharing pillows (I got lice too many times as a kid).

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

I'd bring my own and find a place to put it when I'm not there because fuck a bunch of man drool all over my pillow, which I KNOW would happen in my absence.

[gault]

Just my two cents, but if you're spending the night with this dude so frequently and don't head home. .. it may not stay fwb. ;-)

[daktor71]

Apr 22, 2014 8:32:32 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Apr 22, 2014 8:30:33 GMT -5 chalupa said:

Really? I would assume he likes the pillows he has. It's just the OP that doesn't enjoy sleeping on them. No need to try and redecorate the poor guy's place.

Eh, I think guys sometimes just don't pay attention to that stuff. VC- does he have old crappy pillows or just a type you don't like?

HAHAHA, yeah you're right we don't pay too much attention to things like that, but it's a communication thing; just say something and I'll bet you anything one of three things happens:

option 1. The guys says oh wow I am so sorry, and offers to go out right then and there to pillow shop with you

option 2. The guy will feel bad about the situation, and rectify it by producing other pillow options or even asking what kind of pillow you like and then he will go out and get one.

option 3. The guy will again apologize and totally understand your desire to have a nice comfortable pillow.

As for the drool, or other "liquids" that can appear in a bed well I can't help you there...if you're exclusive then no big deal if its a FWB and there are possibly others involved, express your desire to not have other people use your pillow. Trust me, us guys are dense at times but if you talk to us, most will respond and do so in a way that may surprise you!

[verycontrary247]

Apr 22, 2014 8:26:05 GMT -5 chalupa said:

Along with what jojoandleo and gault are saying - are you guys sleeping with other people? I wouldn't want someone else drooling on my pillow. If you're FWB and not really seeing other people, I'd just announce I was leaving a pillow that didn't kill my neck at his place.

I'm occasionally sleeping with other people, he is not (but I wouldn't be butthurt if he was). Just a fantastically frequent FWB.

I was just going to show up with it one day. I don't want him to go out and buy one to appease me if I complain about it, as I'm super picky about pillows, and I don't want him to feel guilty. @stpete I thought about buying 2, both his pillows reaaaaally suck. Like hard, flat, lifeless. But that reminded me of whenever my parents go to my sisters house and are like "ohhh poor poodle you need new things we will buy them for you without asking"

I don't want this to be weeeeeeeird. I just want to sleep (after other things)!