MEATY(and anyone else who had a surprise 3rd kid) I need you

[NandaB]

please tell me how your surprise third child has been an unexpected blessing to your family, and how wonderfully she fits into your life even though you were scared shitless when you suspected you might be pregnant but were to terrified to pee on a damn stick.

you know, for a friend.

[NandaB]

LURKERS! I see you!!!

Please to be sharing your stories too.

[awick14]

I lurk, I don't have kids so no advice there but congrats. (You know once you POAS and it's + an all that.)

[NandaB]

May 12, 2014 0:40:18 GMT -5 awick14 said:

I lurk, I don't have kids so no advice there but congrats. (You know once you POAS and it's + an all that.)

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot, especially from someone who has struggled to have children. I just feel so lucky to have my 2 (mostly) awesome kids, that it feels unfair. Also I am not sure I am a good enough mom to parent three kids.


Aaaand now I'm crying.

Anyway thanks.

[EloiseWeenie]

Oh Nanda, if you're pregnant it will be ok. I know I don't have a 3rd, but my cycle is randomly weird, and I was like 5 days late one month. I was terrified I was pregnant, but then was sad when the test came back negative. We're still on the fence if we'll go for a third, but I feel a little more confident that the world won't end if I get pregnant again. Lots of hugs!

[meatywienert]

Oh, sweetie! I give you all the hugs. IT WILL BE OKAY. You remember how terrified and upset I was, and it seriously worked out just fine. I thought that there was no possible way for us to even affordable a third, but we worked it out and I am home with the kids now. I am not going to lie, it was a hard adjustment, but you have already done the toddler with a newborn thing so you are like a pro already. You ARE good enough of a mom to have three kids. POAS and it will be okay either way. The third baby got my husband in to get a vasectomy pretty fast, so there's that positive. Don't worry about the kids, they will adjust and so will you.

[NandaB]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

[dearprudence]

I'm obviously not much help because I only have the one little terror, but I wanted to throw in my support.

1) 3 is a great number for kids. So much better than 2. In fact, people who have 3 kids always have things easier. It's like a reward. So things will work out.

2) G is at the age where he can just be in charge. You'll take care of the new baby, and just put him in charge of N. Tell him she's now his responsibility. As a bonus, depending on when they start remembering, this might work as future birth control for him.


In all seriousness though, whatever happens, you will make it work. Because that's what you do. You have the bonus of having gone through it recently, and you make beautiful children. It's going to be hard, but it would be hard now or later, planned or unplanned. And I really have heard it's easier to go from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2. I don't know if there's truth in that, but it certainly won't hurt to tell yourself.

[bbonanza]

Mom of 3 - third was a surprise! And not a really happy one at first, as it was not in the plan. But after a tough first year and adjusting, and now that's she two, I can't really imagine our lives without her and just how much her sisters adore her. She amazes me everyday. What really helped was that DD1 & DD2 were old enough to and wanted to help, and that just one month after having DD3, we PT'd DD2 and just having to change one diaper from then on was great. I can't emphasize enough though just watching the girls interact and how DD3 loves both her big sisters too.

(((Hugs)))

[NandaB]

May 12, 2014 13:48:24 GMT -5 dearprudence said:

I'm obviously not much help because I only have the one little terror, but I wanted to throw in my support.

1) 3 is a great number for kids. So much better than 2. In fact, people who have 3 kids always have things easier. It's like a reward. So things will work out.

2) G is at the age where he can just be in charge. You'll take care of the new baby, and just put him in charge of N. Tell him she's now his responsibility. As a bonus, depending on when they start remembering, this might work as future birth control for him.


In all seriousness though, whatever happens, you will make it work. Because that's what you do. You have the bonus of having gone through it recently, and you make beautiful children. It's going to be hard, but it would be hard now or later, planned or unplanned. And I really have heard it's easier to go from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2. I don't know if there's truth in that, but it certainly won't hurt to tell yourself.

lol. thanks buddy. I am positive 3 carseats and 3 kids under 4 is a breeeeeze also, I am for sure putting the little stinker to work. How else will he make up for being 3(!). Luckily he is already a good helper, and (generally)so sweet to his sister. I am scared to mess that up. but, you are right. I can do this. I had an easier birth and recovery with N, maybe #3 will slide right out and diaper him/herself!

bbonanza thanks for your input. I will probably have 2 in diapers for a while, but I'm cool with that. Natalie is only 13 months. plus, my son was a breeze to potty train, so naturally I am expecting N to be the opposite. She's already a feisty one.

I am feeling a little better today. I will go to the store tomorrow to get the damn pee sticks. We always said we wanted to have at least 2 kids and no more than 4. and then we had 2 kids. and realized 4 is insane. We were kind of in a holding pattern, so maybe we made the decision for ourselves.

but seriously, thanks everyone. It helps.

[meatywienert]

I just came back to send you more good vibes and hugs. Two in diapers isn't all that bad, I actually prefer it to attempting to potty train before 3! We wanted three too, but before getting ktfu with Violet I think we were talking ourselves out of anymore babies, so we got a kick in the ass! I know it is so fucking hard when you get pregnant before you wanted to, but it really is true that you have 9 months to adjust to the idea. Your kids are so dang cute that we really do need more of them in the world.

[EloiseWeenie]

I keep checking back in for the pee test results.

[awick14]

I'm checking back in too. Have you POAS yet NandaB?

[EloiseWeenie]

NandaB we need to know!!11!!

[NandaB]

welp. If I wasn't so freaked out it would be comical how quickly that + showed. Guess its a good thing I didn't get rid of my baby shit.

[justthetip]

Congrats Nanda! I have no words of wisdom since I only have two, but you have awhile to get used to the idea. We will be excited for you until then.

[EloiseWeenie]

Congratulations! You'll be fine!

[meatywienert]

Congratulations! I know it's so fucking hard at first. When I found out I was pregnant with V I came out of the bathroom crying so hard that it scared C and he started crying.It will be okay though.

[dearprudence]

Congratulations!

IIRC, I'm just a short roadtrip away - if things get overwhelming, I can come steal your children- I mean, babysit....

[overture]

Congrats Nanda! I only have one surprise baby, but I feel you on the early apprehension. It will all be okay. <3

[indianchica]

Our third was a very big surprise. We had finally gotten child #2 after waiting for 3 years to get her; we didn't share a word of language in common with her. In the span of three months, we got that child, moved to a new place, and got pregnant with child #3. That pregnancy made it so more than my entire paycheck would be going straight to daycare so we considered my staying at home, but we had two mortgage payments to cover. So I needed to quit my job to stay with the kids but there was no way I could quit my job bc of the houses. We were very stressed and I cried often. We made it through and she is the best little thing ever. Really she is. Good luck; you'll be great.

[NandaB]

Thanks everyone. So my husband has been out of town for work all week and comes home tonight. I am dreading telling him because I don't want to cry, but I'm pretty sure if I say it out loud I'm gonna cry. Ugh.

Also, another issue is that we have a huge family reunion for memorial day weekend. It is gonna be very very suspicious that I'm not drinking. I'm just gonna have to play up that I'm trying to be healthy (which they know) and I would rather eat my calories than drink them. Oh also, we are going on an all day wine tasting limo tour at the end of june for one of my H's close friends bday. Other friends will be there. I think I am going to have to tell them and swear them to secrecy. I mean, I can't pretend to hate every wine I taste all day. I was really excited about drinking all day too.

[EloiseWeenie]

Don't you get a spit cup at wine tours?

I hate the whole secrecy thing. It's so annoying. I mean, we do it too, but I hate being sneaky/avoiding conversation. And then I really hate the speculation if you don't drink, or avoid something weird.

Good luck telling H! It's ok to cry! It's certainly a really big change.

[joolz]

Congratulations and cry all you want, pretty lady.

[colliebabe]

I haven't been over here in a bajillion years but wanted to say congrats Nanda! And everything will be okay!

[imke1]

Congrats, Nanda! I had a couple of surprise arrivals, so I more than understand your situation. Don't worry and enjoy having the little ones while they're still little. Then, they grow up and talk back too much.

[katb]

My 4th was a surprise. We had to do fertility treatments to get pregnant with our twins,(which while we knew it was slight possibility, was not expecting twins), so never though 3.5 years later I would get pregnant again.

After 3 girls, we had a boy. He is my sunshine, my love. It is hard to describe because I love my girls and they add such a dynamic to our life. But my boy, he is the icing on the cake. He is so laid back and offers such a different way of doing things than girls.

I cried when I found out - I was shaking with fear. I cannot imagine now never having my son in our lives - it just wouldn't be complete.


Congrats and in time, I hope you feel better about everything.

[NandaB]

Thanks again everyone. I'm feeling a little better. Still terrified, but better

[Deleted]

Congrats! I'm late to this post and only have one child but my little sister was a "late in life" oops for my mom and she's the worlds coolest chick. Sometimes (but only sometimes says the infertile!) the universe has it's own plan.

[Marmee]

My 3rd DD was not planned...I had a horribly colicky DD2 & had just weaned & bam I was pg again. It took me a while to get over it not being my plan. I wasn't ready to do it all again. But she's almost 5 now & seriously the funniest, most affectionate, most easy to parent kid. She adores her older sisters & the feeling is mutual. I'm soooo happy to have her...and went on to have a fourth DD who I had to really try for (took a year ttc to get pg!). It'll eventually be ok and then better than ok and then you can't imagine life without them. Congrats & good luck.