I am surprised that . . . (maybe judgy)

[karinothing]

So DS is in Daycare. There are 7 kids in the class. They are all under 1. DS is the only kid that gets BM. I know because the BM bottles have a red rubber band and I see all the other bottles when I pick him up. I haven't noticed the kids in the other class (he is sometimes over there in the morning) having BM either.

I obviously don't care whether the kids are drinking BM or FM. It just surprised me because statistically these kids would fall into a population that BFs at a higher rate (high income, high education, moms over 30, and white). Also, most of the parents there are gov workers and the feds are super supportive of BFing (some of the agencies offer commercial pumps and on-call lactaction consultants).

Anyway, there really isn't a point to this post. Other than I was surprised.

ETA: Oh, also this thought is spurred by the discovery yesterday that the teachers had no idea what normal BM poop looked like.

[Deleted]

Ooooh, you done did it now Kari! These are fighting words!

[bunch]

That is surprising. I was asking h if he knew if anyone in his office had ever pumped. He said that the women that he talked to about their young kids usually mentioned ffing (not that he asked). I realized that if it weren't for the nest, I would have had no idea that people pumped at work. I don't think I would have been nearly as committed to bfing had it not been for both the support and bm info that I learned here.

[ilikedonuts]

I wonder how many did BF and now switched to FF.

On my BMB FB group, I would say the board was 90% BF, 10% FF when our babies were born and slowly decreased over the first 6 months. Now its probably 40% BF and 60% FF (if not a little more FF because of supplementing).

[karinothing]

May 15, 2012 7:41:04 GMT -5 @choco said:

Ooooh, you done did it now Kari! These are fighting words!

Ha ha. I know I know. Also, I love this smiley

[karinothing]

May 15, 2012 7:45:12 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

I wonder how many did BF and now switched to FF.

On my BMB FB group, I would say the board was 90% BF, 10% FF when our babies were born and slowly decreased over the first 6 months. Now its probably 40% BF and 60% FF (if not a little more FF because of supplementing).

I will say this is probably similar to my BM board. A lot of folks weaned at 6 months. Most of them don't go into reasons, so I have no clue why. But I was also surprised at the number of folks who weaned then. I guess surprise is the wrong word since I know that only 14% of babies are EBF at 6 months.

It makes me feel kind of odd, which I know is probably silly. And I really don't think of BFing past 6 months as extended breastfeeding but I guess in a way it is when you look at the numbers.

[my4girls]

I BF all of my dd's- first two until 6 months and thats the planwith dd3 as well- but I get just about nothing when I pump, I'm lucky if I can get one full bottle during three pump sessions when I'm back at work so that means once I go back she gets formula at daycare. DH stats up at night to do the last feeding before they go to bed so it's easier to use the pumped milk for that feeding then deal with sending one BM bottle to daycare, since otherwise that last feeding at night would be formula anyway. So you really never know what's going on

[bunch]

May 15, 2012 7:45:12 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

I wonder how many did BF and now switched to FF.

On my BMB FB group, I would say the board was 90% BF, 10% FF when our babies were born and slowly decreased over the first 6 months. Now its probably 40% BF and 60% FF (if not a little more FF because of supplementing).

Again, I don't work outside the home and dont have to pump daily, but this is so strange to me. After the 3 mo mark it would have taken waaaay more effort to ff than to keep bfing.

[bunch]

I have definitely started getting a lot of questions from older family members about if dd has been or when she will be weaned. Its strange. They started around 6mos.

[ijack]

I'm not sure how long I would have lasted if I had gone back full time right away. I HATE pumping, hate. Though FF is kind of a giant pita too.

[Jem]

May 15, 2012 7:49:23 GMT -5 bunch said:

May 15, 2012 7:45:12 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

I wonder how many did BF and now switched to FF.

On my BMB FB group, I would say the board was 90% BF, 10% FF when our babies were born and slowly decreased over the first 6 months. Now its probably 40% BF and 60% FF (if not a little more FF because of supplementing).

Again, I don't work outside the home and dont have to pump daily, but this is so strange to me. After the 3 mo mark it would have taken waaaay more effort to ff than to keep bfing.

I agree that bfing is much easier then ff after the 3 mo mark (as long as you don't have bf issues), but pumping is NOT easy and pumping at working is often extremely difficult. I had to stop bfing at 5 mos because pumping was not working out for me. I had planned to bf until DS was 1, but in the end I was pumping so little that it was impossible to keep up. So I'm not surprised that you are seeing working moms switch to formula somewhere between 6mos and 1 yr.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 7:45:26 GMT -5 karinothing said:

May 15, 2012 7:41:04 GMT -5 @choco said:

Ooooh, you done did it now Kari! These are fighting words!

Ha ha. I know I know. Also, I love this smiley

Oh how did I not even notice that smiley before? I love it!

As far as the demographic you discussed, I also agree that I am surprised by my own experiences. We all started out thinking we would easily last 1 year, but things changed.

Among my neighbors, all 6 of us are trailing spouses. Only one works PT as a speech therapist and the rest of us used to be working professionals. Lots are teachers, one is a journalist, one is in real estate, and then there's me. lol. There are 6 of us in our apartment complex with same aged babies and only 3 made it past 6 months. I had issues and so did one other girl, so we stopped by ~3 months. One girl tried to go back to work and lost her supply during the transition and stopped at 5mos. She is now a SAHM and is still sad about that. FWIW, 4 of these women are married to doctors so I think they were more informed about the benefits of BFing than the average (IMO).

Anyway, I have no idea why I am telling this story besides just giving another anecdote. I will say that I wish I met these friends earlier and maybe I could have worked through my pain and issues. None of the LCs I met with helped me at all. A strong support group is key, and that is hard to find even in this socioeconomic group.

[karinothing]

May 15, 2012 7:50:37 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

How old are the babies? I know your child didn't enter daycare until maybe 6 months. Most working moms I know have a goal of 6 months, and some make it, some don't. If the babies are mainly over 6 months, I am not surprised.

I can start a real flame fest here but unless BFing comes relatively easily to me I have no plans on extending much past 3-6 months. I see how it has (of course unfairly) impacted the careers of women around me who have gone longer and I'm not 100% sold on the later childhood benefits outweighing. But I will wait and see. If it is great for bonding and I get the hang of it, I might extend.

My qualifications on the matter are personally being BF'd for only 6 weeks, put in daycare at 6 weeks, and getting over a 1500 on my SATs, hahaha.

Yeah, I think the babies are over 6 months and again I know it is apparently rare to BF past 6 months statistically for the overall population, it was just this population that surprised me. Since as I mentioned the feds offer a ton of breastfeeding help and I would guess 100% of the babies there have parents that work for the government (since we get priority and the wait list for non priority still had a 100 people in front of me despite me signing up before I was even pregnant).

And not to start flames but there are also benefits to mom to BF (which never really get mentioned) like a lower rate of cancer and osteoporosis (and really I don't mean for that to be offensive, I just notice everyone always talking about benefits to the baby and no one mentioning the mom).

[mrshandy]

To me, it would have been more challenging to stop past 6 months.

That's when it gets easier, you get into a routine, feedings are a lot faster and DS latches on and off so much easier.

I definitely understand people quitting within the first 3 months since it really can suck. But after that is when you get into a stride and you enjoy the benefits of your hard work in the beginning.

Also, I kept losing weight for the next year or so of BF, which is awesome. BF seriously helped me get to my lowest weight in like 6 years. I love it.

[Willis Jackson]

I think I must live in a hippie enclave, but I almost never see a mother bottle feeding a baby at the playground, library, Target, preschool pick-up, etc. Of course we're a bunch of SAHPs since I'm seeing these people on weekdays, but still.

What are the statistics for BFing in SAHMs vs. working moms? Anyone know?

[Deleted]

It is surprising to me that your son is the only one in his class still getting BM. That seems unlikely given the demographics you mentioned.

OTOH, it's not really surprising to me that the % of women still bfing declines once they head back to work. A lot of women have trouble with pumping, either because of workplace conditions or because they just don't produce that much milk that way.

[pierogigirl]

DS1 started daycare at 13 mos and we weaned then. I extended my mat. leave from 3 to 13 mos because I am a poor responder to the pump. DS2 will start daycare at 9 mos and I have a freezer full of milk, but I am still worried that I won't be able to send BM to daycare until 12 mos. I have month 10 covered and I am pumping for month 11 now. I am still not a great pumper.

[hannamarin]

This is surprising. But I wonder if more Moms breastfeed in Canada because of our longer maternity leave. Because even if you have the option to pump at work, I imagine it is still a hassle and may slow your overall productivity. Yesterday Dr Sears was on the View and he made it sound so simple to pump at work. I know that it would be impossible for me to pump at my work. Some days I dont even get time to pee. Not joking, I sometimes have to wait longer than I want. And I can imagineother jobs where pmping is not ideal (police woman, pilot, garbage woman, mailcarrier, waitress).
However, given your daycare demographic...weird.

[Willis Jackson]

May 15, 2012 8:00:51 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

They may BF at home.I know of moms that send formula to daycare but BF at home.

This is a good point.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'm a stay at home mom, so after we got through the initial rough period (which was pretty rough for us), nursing was so easy. I can't imagine quitting around 6 months because that's when it finally got easy. Formula feeding would have been way, way more work -- just washing bottles alone would have added significantly more work than "pull down shirt, feed child."

So I'll go ahead and give my flamful opinion that I'm honestly surprised when SAHM's stop nursing after a couple of months. Just because it seems like they're making more work for themselves just when they got through the hard part. Not that I care how someone else feeds their kid -- I'm just always interested in the reasons, but I'd never ask because I wouldn't want someone to feel judged. Plus, you never know when someone has supply issues or needs to get back on medication they can't take while nursing.

For working moms -- I give mad props to any mom who pumps at work. That has got to be the most miserable thing. Constantly worrying about whether you have enough pumped milk, having to take time out of your day to sit with your boobs hooked up to a milking machine. Plus, I never got much milk when I pumped (even though I had tons for DD when she nursed), so I just know that I would have been so frustrated if I'd had to pump.

[Redpoppy]

I exclusively pumped from 2-7 months before I hung up the horns. My goal had been six months. DS was never a good BFer even with help from LC. He was the only breast milk baby at daycare as well. Our daycare even provided formula that most parents took.

Our company is very supportive of breastfeeding as well with mother's room in each building and I'd say maybe 25% of returning mothers are using them. Two I know using them now had preemies and pumped while the babies were in the nicu so I wonder if being on a regular pumping schedule already came into play with continuing.

[karinothing]

May 15, 2012 8:04:57 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Oh, and I like BFing, but honestly the thought of my children not taking a bottle scares me a bit. I know parents that haven't been away from their children for moremthan a few hrs because they have to nurse.

Or, the woman on my local mommies board whose 9month old nurses all.night.long because he won't take a bottle from the nanny.

I think I'd get depressed very quickly if I knew I couldn't leave my child for more than a few hrs at a time. I'd worry about appts running late, traffic, the ability to go back to work, etc.

I don't think children not taking a bottle in the long term is really that common, if the bottle is introduce at the right time. We started DS with a bottle of pumped milk at 8 weeks and he screamed about it until 16 weeks when he finally just took it no problem (but that being said we never pushed the issue, so he probably would have taken it easier sooner).

Hopefulyl with your next child your milk will come in sooner so you won't even have to worry! Mine came in at day 2, so I was very lucky.

[karinothing]

May 15, 2012 8:09:14 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

Um stupid question but is it possible to BF at home and not pump? I got the impression that if you didn't regularly express your milk (every few hours) you stopped producing it. The idea that I could FF at daycare and BF at home is somewhat appealing.

Obviously I haven't been there yet but the pump seems very oppressive to me.

Yes, at a point (and for some women). I know at a year I will likely stop pumping at work and then go to nursing at home (although I say that now, and I really can't picture myself stopping).

I personally don't think pumping is THAT bad. It is the only time a day where I get to read! ha ha

[Willis Jackson]

May 15, 2012 8:09:14 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

Um stupid question but is it possible to BF at home and not pump? I got the impression that if you didn't regularly express your milk (every few hours) you stopped producing it. The idea that I could FF at daycare and BF at home is somewhat appealing.

Obviously I haven't been there yet but the pump seems very oppressive to me.

I think your boobs can kind of learn to tell time.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 8:06:52 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

So I'll go ahead and give my flamful opinion that I'm honestly surprised when SAHM's stop nursing after a couple of months. Just because it seems like they're making more work for themselves just when they got through the hard part. Not that I care how someone else feeds their kid -- I'm just always interested in the reasons, but I'd never ask because I wouldn't want someone to feel judged. Plus, you never know when someone has supply issues or needs to get back on medication they can't take while nursing.

I never knew how many issues people face re BFing until I faced them myself. I too judged and it all came back to slap me in the face. I was pretty depressed about it for a long time but now I can say I am over it and am just glad DS is healthy and happy.

If you care, my own reason was pain. No one could figure out why after 10 wks of EBF I still had such burning pain that air hurt. I tried to pump after that and my supply almost disappeared, so I got desperate and tried oatmeal and Mother's Milk Tea supplements. Well, the stupid Mother's Milk Tea gave DS hives all over his little body. After that, I was done. I wasn't willing to experiment anymore trying to increase my supply if it meant that DS would suffer. I still feel bad that I gave him hives.

For the next one, I am hoping I have learned enough to avoid losing my supply with pumping (I am expecting lots of pain, so I will pump no matter how much of a pain it is). Basically, the PISA I have sucks and I should just rent from the hospital. Also, I should build a stash quickly. I really had no idea what to do since the BFing class I was scheduled for was after DS was born and I never made it.

Again, I used to feel awful but I can't undo anything now. DS is still developing well and that is all I can ask for at this point.

[karinothing]

Choco - Your story makes me think about why I really wish milk banks for non preemie babies were more common. I think I would be heart broken if I couldn't have BF'd DS.

[ijack]

Honestly pumping still reminds me of the NICU. Every time I walk into the pumping room and smell the milk it takes me back to pumping all.the.time when my first was a baby. I love the comfy chair, but that's about it

[chia]

Yeah, this is super judgy. You have no idea why the other Moms don't BF... and, it really doesn't matter.

Unless the kid is getting :drink: or :beer:, moms need to mind their own business.

[Deleted]

Our demographic is somewhat similar to yours- parents over 30, high income, except we have a very high population of Asians (I'd say 40-50% overall of the daycare). I think DD was one of 2-3 kids (out of 10) that had BM bottles. The teachers were familiar with it though (and 2 of the teachers BF their own kids). That's really surprising that a teacher in your area had never seen BF poop before.

I actually have no idea what FF poop looks like.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 8:18:39 GMT -5 @choco said:

May 15, 2012 8:06:52 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

So I'll go ahead and give my flamful opinion that I'm honestly surprised when SAHM's stop nursing after a couple of months. Just because it seems like they're making more work for themselves just when they got through the hard part. Not that I care how someone else feeds their kid -- I'm just always interested in the reasons, but I'd never ask because I wouldn't want someone to feel judged. Plus, you never know when someone has supply issues or needs to get back on medication they can't take while nursing.

I never knew how many issues people face re BFing until I faced them myself. I too judged and it all came back to slap me in the face. I was pretty depressed about it for a long time but now I can say I am over it and am just glad DS is healthy and happy.

If you care, my own reason was pain. No one could figure out why after 10 wks of EBF I still had such burning pain that air hurt. I tried to pump after that and my supply almost disappeared, so I got desperate and tried oatmeal and Mother's Milk Tea supplements. Well, the stupid Mother's Milk Tea gave DS hives all over his little body. After that, I was done. I wasn't willing to experiment anymore trying to increase my supply if it meant that DS would suffer. I still feel bad that I gave him hives.

For the next one, I am hoping I have learned enough to avoid losing my supply with pumping (I am expecting lots of pain, so I will pump no matter how much of a pain it is). Basically, the PISA I have sucks and I should just rent from the hospital. Also, I should build a stash quickly. I really had no idea what to do since the BFing class I was scheduled for was after DS was born and I never made it.

Again, I used to feel awful but I can't undo anything now. DS is still developing well and that is all I can ask for at this point.

I wish you would have been more vocal about it to me! I went through it all-- thrush, extreme pain in my left side the entire time I BF (A year), exclusively pumped for 3 months because DD wouldn't latch, etc. Next time CALL ME!