If you have kids, do you all move together

[origami]

We are about to book tix to move to Asia from the US. I'm trying to decide if DH should move first and get things ready, and then I can fly with the kids a few days later, or if we should just go together. My mom agreed to fly with me so I wouldn't fly alone either way. I'm not sure how useful it would be for DH to get there early though. If we went all together we would stay in a hotel until our rental was ready. If the kids and I went later we'd go straight to the rental. DH could get groceries/odds and ends and make sure the rental furniture was there. We've already picked out the rental furniture. But I barely trust him to grocery shop here, where he can read every label. What are some other issues I need to consider?

[dulcemariamar]

My DH went first, about a week before. My LO was really young, about 12 weeks old before I took her there. We were waiting to do the three month checkup and we already had an appointment but my husband hd to start working so he went before.

It was useful. He was there for the movers. He didnt really unpack too much. Just things like towels, sheets, cups. He did scope out the land a bit, found a supermarket and bought basic supplies

[rupertpenny]

We all went together. My start date was flexible and we didn't have a rental before we moved so it made sense. Also, I was the one working and I was still BFing, so I couldn't go with just the baby because I had to go to work, but I couldn't go alone because I had the boobs. If you do t have to fly alone I don't think it would make a huge difference either way.

Anyway, I don't know how much your H could really do before you get there. It isn't like it's that had for you to just run to the grocery store or Ikea or whatever. However, I would still bring your mom if possible. We had to run a lot of errands the first week, going to immigration and setting up a bank account and stuff, and it was SO much easier to do things child free. We hired a babysitter for a morning our first week there so we could move from the hotel to our apartment and go buy appliances and stuff.

[UnderProtest]

Send your husband ahead. That way you will have your mom to help you settle in, assuming she is helpful. My husband moved over three weeks before us to wait for the first shipment of our furniture so the kids would have their cribs as soon as we got here. He got some groceries and was able to figure out where things were. I stayed back and closed on our house and then he came back to get us. If my mom was helpful in new situations, I might have just had her come with the kids and me. But she isn't helpful so it worked better for us to have him come get us.

[origami]

May 24, 2014 15:26:01 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Send your husband ahead. That way you will have your mom to help you settle in, assuming she is helpful. My husband moved over three weeks before us to wait for the first shipment of our furniture so the kids would have their cribs as soon as we got here. He got some groceries and was able to figure out where things were. I stayed back and closed on our house and then he came back to get us. If my mom was helpful in new situations, I might have just had her come with the kids and me. But she isn't helpful so it worked better for us to have him come get us.

ha! This is my dilemma too. I think "how helpful IS my DH? How helpful IS my mom?" Depends on the day

I'm confused on whether or not I need to be there to get the visa process going (and our crap can get shipped) or if he can start it alone and do mine later. But I won't stay behind more than a few days so I guess it doesn't matter. I need to get there in advance enough that the kids adjust before school starts.

[UnderProtest]

May 24, 2014 18:21:19 GMT -5 origami said:

May 24, 2014 15:26:01 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Send your husband ahead. That way you will have your mom to help you settle in, assuming she is helpful. My husband moved over three weeks before us to wait for the first shipment of our furniture so the kids would have their cribs as soon as we got here. He got some groceries and was able to figure out where things were. I stayed back and closed on our house and then he came back to get us. If my mom was helpful in new situations, I might have just had her come with the kids and me. But she isn't helpful so it worked better for us to have him come get us.

ha! This is my dilemma too. I think "how helpful IS my DH? How helpful IS my mom?" Depends on the day

I'm confused on whether or not I need to be there to get the visa process going (and our crap can get shipped) or if he can start it alone and do mine later. But I won't stay behind more than a few days so I guess it doesn't matter. I need to get there in advance enough that the kids adjust before school starts.

Yeah, I have those doubts too.  My husband is a better, less stressed travel companion so that made it somewhat easier. Not sure about the visas, we had to do all of ours in the US before we could even move. 

[anna7602]

We went together in both directions. DD was 3.5 when we moved to France and I felt like there was a lot to do the first week we were there that required my language skills (DH doesn't speak French)- grocery shopping, getting internet set up, etc. Plus, I didn't have a whole lot to do with DD on my own back in the U.S. since we had wrapped up our lives here, so it just made sense for us to go together. 

When we came back to the U.S., we came together. I had entertained this fantasy of going first and setting up our apartment, doing everything the way I wanted, etc. without DD underfoot, but it wasn't meant to be. DH ended up with unexpected extra vacation time, so we decided to spend more time together as a family. 

We dealt with visa stuff just prior to leaving and then dealt with the process of extending the visas/providing proof of whatever to keep what we had about 3 months after we arrived in France. Nothing had to be done the first week except for fill out some form verifying the date of our arrival and sending it to the immigration attorney we were working with. 

ETA: We moved in the middle of the school year and wanted DD to start asap. So getting there earlier meant more time for her to adjust to jet lag, etc. and being able to get her off to school about a week after we arrived. I wanted her to learn French right away, so really wanted her to start school. We had already selected the school during our house-hunting trip 2.5 months before we moved.