Come on. its her choice. Why hate on it? I went back to school after two weeks. I plan to go back to work after 4 weeks this time (i was going to announce later but whatever, yeah, I'm pregnant). That's my choice. I am very close to my kid. Insinuating she won't bond with her kid is pure crap. On the flip side, I don't begrudge someone who takes the full 12 weeks (or more, if they get it). Good for them!
Post by cookiemdough on Jul 17, 2012 18:31:13 GMT -5
I wish her the best.
I do find it amusing though that the company is being painted as really doing something great. I actually loled at the whole "evolved thinking" description. If she is working, there is not much loss on their end so why are they being celebrated as doing something favorable for women? They were lucky enough to convince a really bright business person to come turn their company around. Now hiring her in that position and her taking maternity leave would have shown evolved thinking.
She's the head of a beleaguered tech company and she's due in 3 months. I guess I assume that SHE assumes that she'll be in the middle of a LOT of work.
Oh, yeah, and I'm sure she'll have a ton of help around the house and with the baby.
If it works with her... well, let's just say I don't think this is news.
I don't think this ruins it for other people. I mean, on one hand, there are very few female tech CEOs of child bearing age, and those are the only other people I think you can compare her situation to. So if the next female tech CEO decides to take 8 weeks off and not work through her maternity leave, then I guess we'll see what people say, huh?
I'm also going to throw something out there - a LOT of this depends on your job. We've had a few people in my office take 12 weeks and never heard a peep from them. We had 1 take 3 weeks and then was back full time (after handling her boss's email from home the whole time). My boss is out now and has been for 7 weeks or so, but has been in the office on a few occasions to get a few things done, come in to pack her office (we just moved) and been in phone and email contact with a few key people. This is because my boss does a TON of stuff (finance). She also gave birth 4 weeks early, so she didn't get to transfer her duties as thoroughly as she would have liked. In the US, in some jobs, like, hey, tech CEO, it's also hard to get a temp for 2-3 months to take over every aspect of your job. That's why some jobs require highly trained and skilled individuals.
Jenni: some times they are doing themselves favors. I am. I know I will be dying to go back to work around 4 weeks, lol. Not everyone loves spending 24 hours a day with a newborn. I love my daughter dearly. We bonded just fine. But I needed to have something outside of her almost immediately or I would have lot my ever loving mind. A newborn sucks everything out of you and they can't really give anything back yet. They don't smile. They can't react other than to cry. Physically I felt fine after a week. I was cleared by my doc to return to grad school after 2 weeks. So really, the only thing in my way was nursing (which we worked out...I was able to continue to feed her only BM) and sleep deprivation.
So if its best for her, then I don't see why she is being vilified.
As for Mayer, I don't care. She is not ruining things for all American women by working through her leave and going back early, and I don't see how this demonstrates how much she will demand of working mothers on her staff because of her own relatively unique experiences. If she has half a brain she'd know that she has access to resources that many other women do not, so to demand the same from her staff would be idiotic.
I don't care if she works or doesnt work, but I think that if you're working, you're by definition *not* on leave. It would be more accurate for her to say she is not planning to take any maternity leave.
Post by earlgreyhot on Jul 17, 2012 19:21:01 GMT -5
Congrats, Irish!
And, yeah, this woman is going to have a full plate but thankfully will be able to afford help. There is no "winning" the mommy wars. Every situation is different and women are always going to have extremely tough decisions to make. I hope that she does succeed, but doesn't take the "bootstraps" mentality rather sees the complexity and makes it easier for women to make the choices that are best for their unique situation.
Post by 2curlydogs on Jul 17, 2012 19:25:09 GMT -5
I'm highly amused and depressed that this thread went exactly the way I thought it would.
As a woman with a computer science degree and a programmer by background, someone who has valued her career in the industry and has worked her way up (if not to the degree that Marissa has ), and also is a mother and someone who had to navigate those waters as well (juggling maternity leave with job demands), I think I would have a lot to add to the discussion. A position of insight.
But I sure as hell am not going to engage and open up my own personal experience with comments like "I guess it will be good time for the nanny to start bonding". Fuck that and the horse it rode in on.
So, in large measure, ditto bq and pesca, and I'll be sitting in the tinfoil hat corner with bunny.
Post by sweettooth on Jul 17, 2012 19:37:51 GMT -5
I don't think we all need the same kind of ML, because we are not all the same kind of women. She may not be planning to nurse and may get stir crazy if she stays at home all day. I work with someone like that--her husband makes tons of money and would like for her to be a SAHM, but she says the thought horrifies her, and yet she is a loving, responsible mother.
The CEO can probably do some work from home and will be able to hire a nanny and housekeeper, and possibly a cook. She may split her day with some work from home and a few hours in the office. She is (or should be) smart enough to know that isn't true of all women and shouldn't expect it of them.
It wouldn't be good to stay home longer to look good if she is a screaming maniac from cabin fever. I applaud her doing what is best for her, and hope she returns that favor to her employees--letting them do what is best for them.
I admit that I get really annoyed fairly easily by these discussions. Some women recover quickly from childbirth. Some women have a really hard time. Personally, I'd have no qualms returning to a non physical job just a few weeks after having a baby, none at all. And the idea that she won't be able to bond with her baby if she works through her maternity leave at an office job no less is beyond ridiculous.
Plus, let's be real here, she'll have plenty of people to delegate tasks to whether it be a nanny, housekeeper, personal assistant, secretary, other executives, etc.
At the heart of it, this is an individual choice. No woman should be subject to pressure to go back to work immediately or pressured to stay home.
ITA. The caveat is when people at other companies start using her as an example as to why women don't need the leave. We're an unusually intelligent cross section of our country. We look at her and know she's the 1% and will have a lot of help. Some schmuck middle manager at Asswipes R Us Corporate won't care about that little detail.
I have a friend who was just pushed out of a Fortune 500 company. I won't say who incase there is a lawsuit, but she was pushed out when #2 was 3 weeks old. Her (new) manager told her to report back to work and was not going to let her use any of her banked PTO, which she had banked for that exact purpose. Her baby was in the NICU for the 1st week of his life and she only wanted to take 9 weeks. I worry that managers will look at the Yahoo CEO and say "See?"
On the other hand, I have another friend who was up for partner at her big, totally old boy network, national law firm when she got pregnant. Six days after her c-section she spent 4 hours at her desk, and was back at a regular schedule within a month. She made partner and had another baby and is a wonderful, loving mother.
Post by vanillacourage on Jul 17, 2012 20:04:10 GMT -5
You can't say "wow, she's lucky to be hired while PG or get maternity leave at all" while simultaneously saying "I can't believe she's only taking 2 weeks! What a bad precedent to set!"
As for Mayer, I don't care. She is not ruining things for all American women by working through her leave and going back early, and I don't see how this demonstrates how much she will demand of working mothers on her staff because of her own relatively unique experiences. If she has half a brain she'd know that she has access to resources that many other women do not, so to demand the same from her staff would be idiotic.
Ditto!
I just put this on MM, but my feeling is that I don't see why anyone would assume that she would think her choice is a choice all women should make.
She's probably worked fucking hard her whole life. She gets her big break and it comes at the worst time possible. CEO of tech company jobs aren't just things that come along every day. I have a sense of what that dilemma must be like, and see why someone in that position would have much different expectations for themselves than they would for others, even high level executives, that are already comfortably in their roles when they have babies.
I actually have NO problem with the fact that she is only taking 3 weeks off for maternity leave. Let's consider a male taking the top position in the company - any company, much less one in turmoil - how could he be effective if away from his new job for even a few weeks much less a month and a half which is the standard 6 weeks medical leave? The job of a CEO is demanding - there is no leaving your work at work EVER. There is almost no opportunity to go on vacation without being connected, especially if you are brand new to the company. The reason CEOs make so much money is their job is 24/7 all year. It's reasonable that she plans to "work through it" which likely means to be available. Unfortunate for her child if it impacts bonding (which I don't necessarily think is the case), but the children of all the Yahoo employees are depending on her to successfully lead so their parents continue to be employed. I think it's an incredible success that she has this choice, and hopefully the father will be very connected and involved at home so the important constant bonding with a parent will take place for the baby's development.
Let's say that 3 months after taking over the job she says she is taking a 12 week maternity leave. 3 months is enough time for the company to implode without someone leading at the helm. Like someone else posted, it isn't some kind of job you can plug a temp into. There are thousands of others whose jobs are depending on her to be doing hers, not be on maternity leave.
And it was between her and a guy. While disclosing to her company was a professional courtesy, that also in a way put the decision-makers in a bind. You don't want to get accused of violating the Pregnancy Discrimination Act!
I think it's a hard choice. Period. I hope she does have a good support system in place. I also know that one of our organization's leaders was back to work 3 days after she had her 4th child. She was an executive and the shit was hitting the fan when she gave birth. And yet she fully supports a woman's right to take a full 12 week leave and encourages it if it is the right decision for that woman and her family. It just wasn't the right decision for her (AND she had a nanny to bring the baby to work to nurse and all kinds of support the average womand doesn't have which she openly acknowledged).
No judgment one way or the other here. I just have to say that I'm super impressed with those who go back early and still make nursing work. I feel like I was nursing all the damn time those early weeks. Pumping was a big stressor for me when I finally did go back, and I'm not looking forward to starting that shit up again in the fall.
I'm with esf. She has probably worked for this her whole life. What do I care? It is not a precedent for all women going forward, imo, as it is so rare, unfortunately, for a female ceo. Congrats Irish.
I admit that I get really annoyed fairly easily by these discussions. Some women recover quickly from childbirth. Some women have a really hard time. Personally, I'd have no qualms returning to a non physical job just a few weeks after having a baby, none at all. And the idea that she won't be able to bond with her baby if she works through her maternity leave at an office job no less is beyond ridiculous.
Plus, let's be real here, she'll have plenty of people to delegate tasks to whether it be a nanny, housekeeper, personal assistant, secretary, other executives, etc.
At the heart of it, this is an individual choice. No woman should be subject to pressure to go back to work immediately or pressured to stay home.
ITA. The caveat is when people at other companies start using her as an example as to why women don't need the leave. We're an unusually intelligent cross section of our country. We look at her and know she's the 1% and will have a lot of help. Some schmuck middle manager at Asswipes R Us Corporate won't care about that little detail.
I have a friend who was just pushed out of a Fortune 500 company. I won't say who incase there is a lawsuit, but she was pushed out when #2 was 3 weeks old. Her (new) manager told her to report back to work and was not going to let her use any of her banked PTO, which she had banked for that exact purpose. Her baby was in the NICU for the 1st week of his life and she only wanted to take 9 weeks. I worry that managers will look at the Yahoo CEO and say "See?"
On the other hand, I have another friend who was up for partner at her big, totally old boy network, national law firm when she got pregnant. Six days after her c-section she spent 4 hours at her desk, and was back at a regular schedule within a month. She made partner and had another baby and is a wonderful, loving mother.
how is that even legal? Oh, it's not as the fortune 500 is probably not fmla exempt. Same for.other somewhat large companies
Maybe not to this extent, but what first time mom actually *gets* what is going to happen before it does? The crap I thought I would be doing right after DS came is laughable to me now, truly hilarious. She'll either deal or be like 'holy shits - seriously - WTF was I thinking?' Regardless of how it goes for her, it is her decision and two really great moments in her life are happening, so good for her.
I also think that the more important you are, the more difficult it is to take any kind of leave. Even a small comparison in my own home is that when we were first married, MH could take time off whenever pretty much - now 7 years later, he's at a different job, with more responsibility and it's more difficult to fully take time off despite a flexible work schedule.
My guess is that if you are the CEO of a company, you're probably always in contact w/ your office no matter what - man, woman, maternity leave, family vacation, open heart surgery... it doesn't matter. So I'm pretty unsurprised that she is not taking much leave. And I totally eyeroll the idea that she won't bond with her baby.
And holy mega DITTO (sorry for the Rushism, but I'm feeling it) to those who have posted who-the-fuck-cares and it really doesn't work for you to express how lucky she is to get any leave in that position, but why-oh-why is she ruining it for other working moms by announcing her intentions to work during "leave?"
Good.on.her. Her body, her vagina, her offspring, her job. The End.