My brother and I have usually given them something together, and then we'd take them out to dinner.
But because of my dad's current condition, dinner won't be possible this year.
So, I've been working on something, and I am trying to decide whether to finish it up this week and give it to my mom for their anniversary or wait until another occasion.
Over the last month, I have been writing down stories from memory that both my mom and dad have told me about them throughout the years. For example, each of their accounts of the first time they saw each other, what happened when my dad proposed, how they felt the days my brother and I were born, their favorite vacation, etc.
So, I've written down what I remember my mom telling me about a story, then on the other side, I write down what I remember my dad telling me from his point of view.
I'm putting them in a hardbound journal with their wedding photo on the inside of the cover.
I thought this would be special to give to my mom for their anniversary, but I also don't want to make her sad on that day either. I keep going back and forth on when to give it to her. I know she will love it and cry no matter when she gets it. She's very sentimental like me lol
I think that is a beautiful gift. One of my favorite things is a scrapbook GMIL made for her 80th birthday of everything she's saved since she was a little girl...report cards from kindergarten through graduation, letters and wires between her and her H, photos of her growing up, and so forth. I inherited my grandmother's hope chest and inside was a bunch of family memorabilia my sisters hadn't sifted through and taken, like my Great-grandma's funeral book, photos of my grandparents and my dad, communion cards from when my dad and grandma were practicing Catholics before she divorced, and so forth. The best gifts are stories and history. Those are priceless and irreplaceable.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Post by indianchica on Jun 2, 2014 14:03:34 GMT -5
That is very sweet. May I suggest that she not be in front of everyone when she opens it? I would sob after getting something like that (happy tears, but still tears).
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jun 2, 2014 14:53:31 GMT -5
I think it's a lovely gift. And if I just say one thing without sounding insensitive ... giving your Mom a way of physically touching and holding those beloved memories of your father is NOT going to make her sad. Is the situation your dad is facing now heartwrenching for her? Of course. But those memories are a very real, very joyful manifestation of all of their years together. This is why the whole "Ooh, don't say her husband's name, you might remind her ..." (talking about me now) never made any sense to me, and makes even less sense to me now that I'm living it. I mean, I know my husband's dead, I haven't forgotten. But I love having those memories and love walking through them every now and then just so I'm sure I don't forget them. The missing him hurts like hell, but the remembering him lifts me up every damn day. Every day. (((polka and family)))
MixedBerryJam not insensitive at all! That is how I feel too. Some people have mentioned to me that they don't talk or ask about my dad, because they worry it will hurt me. But I love talking about him and remembering the wonderful times we have had. Like you said, of course the circumstances are heartbreaking, but pretending that the memories didn't happen would hurt the most.
I knew I wanted to give my mom the journal on their anniversary, I just thought I'd ask for other people's opinions of it, just in case I didn't think of some reason not to.
Thank you so much for sharing and reminding me that it is a good idea for her to get it on that special day. I'm glad you posted that. That means a lot that you reinforced my decision. Many hugs to you too. (heart)
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"