Post by spellingbea on Jun 8, 2014 14:03:08 GMT -5
The kid sounds like a total turd, but it also sounds like he was bored. Were there other kids his age there? Don't get me wrong, his behavior still sucked.
I don't care how awful he was, I still wouldn't have been able to say absolutely not when he wanted a brownie. I would have just told him I'd pack one up for him to go. That's right, I'd have no trouble ushering his ass out the door, but he'd have a brownie, lol.
Post by CajunShrimp on Jun 8, 2014 14:08:55 GMT -5
The mom told him about the coke, not me. I called him on pouring out the water. If she is fine with letting him drink soda, that is her call not mine.
I know the easy answer is not to invite them anymore. But that is going to cause a bigger mess. A, my BFF L and I have been good friends for years (L & A have been friends for 35 years). If I stop inviting them, she will know. I really do like her and care about her, it is just her son. I don't think it is a hill I am willing to die on, but that doesn't mean I can't be pissed. And FWIW, it's not just me. As soon as A left yesterday, L and her boyfriend and daughter just exploded they were so pissed. We have had many conversations on how awful he is. Do I want to lose a good friendship because of her shit son? No.
And for those who wondered why I didn't have all the food out - it is summer. People were here for 6 hours. If I put the fruit salad, pasta salad and dessert out when they arrived, they would be a big old melted, fly infested bowl of food poisoning by the time we ate. We were enjoying some adult beverages and relaxing before we grilled.
I am just waiting for the day he is old enough to stay at home.
Post by CajunShrimp on Jun 8, 2014 14:13:00 GMT -5
I told A that I told B he couldn't have a brownie. She thanked me.
BFF and I have always rolled that way. She knows that if DS is acting up, she has full permission to reign him in, and I can do the same with her DD. We have both been very open about that with A (she knows she can reign in DS too).
The mom told him about the coke, not me. I called him on pouring out the water. If she is fine with letting him drink soda, that is her call not mine.
I know the easy answer is not to invite them anymore. But that is going to cause a bigger mess. A, my BFF L and I have been good friends for years (L & A have been friends for 35 years). If I stop inviting them, she will know. I really do like her and care about her, it is just her son. I don't think it is a hill I am willing to die on, but that doesn't mean I can't be pissed. And FWIW, it's not just me. As soon as A left yesterday, L and her boyfriend and daughter just exploded they were so pissed. We have had many conversations on how awful he is. Do I want to lose a good friendship because of her shit son? No.
And for those who wondered why I didn't have all the food out - it is summer. People were here for 6 hours. If I put the fruit salad, pasta salad and dessert out when they arrived, they would be a big old melted, fly infested bowl of food poisoning by the time we ate. We were enjoying some adult beverages and relaxing before we grilled.
I am just waiting for the day he is old enough to stay at home.
Jesus. I was kind of with you until this. By the by, it's his MOM that's the issue, you know, that friend of yours.
The mom told him about the coke, not me. I called him on pouring out the water. If she is fine with letting him drink soda, th
Jesus. I was kind of with you until this. By the by, it's his MOM that's the issue, you know, that friend of yours.
I know he behaves this way because she allows it. But like I said, I do consider her a good friend, and I don't want to end the friendship (which is what would happen if I stopped inviting them over) over it. Her son is just part of who she is, it isn't all of her.
LOL I got it at a specialty deli. It had asiago cheese and a bunch of other super yummy things (maybe prosciutto?) The tray was like $18 and it was so freaking good. Or it was until he put his fingers in it.
Also, I'm enjoying the harsher ML. It's like good 'ole times. And I don't think anyone can call me out on that because I was the recipient of PLENTY of flames. Lol.
Ok, change "shit son" to "spoiled son". that was over the line, you are right.
Your friend has allowed him to behave this way, I'm not sure why you're giving her such a break here and putting the blame on him. It really was like you were having a pissing match with a 12yr old, like que said. It was a party, where the host provides food, I still don't get denying him a brownie, when you knew he wouldn't be there for dessert. It sounds like you are going to continue to have this kid over, you know how he acts, so be prepared and stop complaining. lol. OR stop inviting them.
See, and this is why I am confused. Because in my neighborhood, if you were acting out and an adult told you to stop it or no you could not do that then that's the way it was. And Lord Jesus help you if Ms. Grace told you no and you did it anyways, because your mom would be getting a call from her post haste and you would be getting in trouble AGAIN when you got home.
It's totally cultural. I'd grin and bear it here. Then again, most people here are loaded and would think mentioning the cost of water was ridic :-P
I'm only on page 4, but this is ridic. And in some areas, water is expensive and would make the bill higher if a kid played with the hose for an afternoon. Not to mention wasteful (I know how ML loves an environmental nightmare), some cities have water restrictions in the summer, the yard could get flooded, things could get damaged, and people could be annoyed.
Mentioning that people are loaded where you are is equally poor logic. Just because you have money doesn't mean you are okay to waste it.
Post by CajunShrimp on Jun 8, 2014 14:51:01 GMT -5
No, you are absolutely right. I think she treats him the way she does because she feels like she owes it to him because of his dad. I am not saying she is right at all, nor do I give her a pass. She has made him the way he is. I think most people have things their friends do that piss them off/frustrate them. I don't think her son's behavior is enough to reach that 'tipping point' where it becomes a friendship ending move. BFF and I just need to put up with it around A, and hope he gets better as he gets older.
As I said before, she thanked me for not giving him the brownie. She did not want him to have one (and I usually check with a parent before I start handing out sweets, especially if it is before dinner). He was going to her boyfriends for dinner and then ice cream, so I wasn't depriving him of dessert.
Post by thelurkylulu on Jun 8, 2014 14:52:11 GMT -5
I have more respect for the honest (harsher) ML than I do the kind, polite ML. It's like wanting friends who will call you out on your BS instead of those who blow smoke up your ass and tell you how awesome you are all the time.
It's totally cultural. I'd grin and bear it here. Then again, most people here are loaded and would think mentioning the cost of water was ridic :-P
I'm only on page 4, but this is ridic. And in some areas, water is expensive and would make the bill higher if a kid played with the hose for an afternoon. Not to mention wasteful (I know how ML loves an environmental nightmare), some cities have water restrictions in the summer, the yard could get flooded, things could get damaged, and people could be annoyed.
Mentioning that people are loaded where you are is equally poor logic. Just because you have money doesn't mean you are okay to waste it.
My uncle lives on the property and he pays for the water. He lives off his social security check, so this was definitely a factor.
I have more respect for the honest (harsher) ML than I do the kind, polite ML. It's like wanting friends who will call you out on your BS instead of those who blow smoke up your ass and tell you how awesome you are all the time.
Calling people out on bs is one thing, but being mean to someone who has been nothing but sweet is really shitty.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
I have more respect for the honest (harsher) ML than I do the kind, polite ML. It's like wanting friends who will call you out on your BS instead of those who blow smoke up your ass and tell you how awesome you are all the time.
I don't disagree but I think being rude to someone who just went through brain surgery is uncalled for. It's simply unnecessary imho.
I would drop the hammer on either of my children for misbehaving a tenth that badly anywhere. I have no patience for fuckery no matter the age and both of my kids know that. 12 is old enough not to be a turd. Shit, six is old enough in the Jermys house. Two years old still gets some leeway, but he still says please and thank you.
I would agree if it were an isolated incident. It's pretty clear she really dislikes this kid, yet is close with his mother. She's going to find to find a longer term and better solution to dealing with this, or back away from the friendship.
ETA: Other than waiting for him to be old enough to not come. lol
I don't know. If it was an isolated incident, I think I would be more likely to give them a brownie for the road, but if it's a pattern of behavior like this and the kid has bad manners in general, I would be less likely. Maybe I'm just an icy bitch.
If he hadn't mowed through 2 bags of chips with booger fingers and been a rude little asshole, I would have given them a few in a baggie for later. Rude people, no matter their age, get no treats from me.