Who pays when you go out to eat with your parents or inlaws?

[lilles]

If you are going out to dinner with your parents and it is you, DH, your kids, and your parents or inlaws who pays for dinner? Parents/inlaws were the ones who invited you to eat.

[ssmjlm]

If we go with my parents, they pay.

If it's just us with FIL or MIL/her husband, usually they pay.

If it's us and BIL/SIL/kids and FIL, he'll usually still pay.

If it's us and BIL/SIL/kids and MIL/her husband, it's separate checks.

[bryantpark]

Inlaws typically pay, but it's rare event we go out to eat with them. My parents we usually pay for everyone b/c they do so much free babysitting for us.

[Deleted]

Normally, our parents. But we pay if the dinner is for one of our parents' birthdays.

[aspentosh]

We alternate. My mom and I go out to eat together 2-3x per week and we switch out every other time or so. She tries to pay more since we're three people living on one income, but she's retired so doesn't always make sense to me

If it's my dad and stepmom, usually they pay.

If it's MIL, we usually try and pay because it's usually when she's come to visit us.

[Deleted]

My parents and ILs pay, always. FIL nearly had a fit when I paid when we went out for DH's birthday a few years ago, so it's not a fight I wish to have with anyone any more.

[L]

Always the parents.

[gt7301b]

My parents pay 3/4 times.

My FIL always pays, if MIL is there they pay ~ 1/2 the time.

[ECB]

With my parents, it's usually based on who did the inviting. 

WIth my ILs, they almost always pay.  Occasionally we'll pick it up, but it's usually them. FIL wants to.  For all get together's, holidays, etc, it's usually us and/or my parents who host.  ILs never do.  So my FIL likes to pick up the tab when we go out as a way to pay us back.

[rootbeerfloat]

My parents usually pay. We offer, and sometimes they will let us cover the tip, but generally, they do.

We don't eat with the ILs often, but we typically pay.

[lime]

My mom - we alternate. She'd be happy with her paying 100%.

FIL and SMIL - same as above.

MIL and SFIL - they are cheap ass mofos. If they pay, it's because they had a coupon to a 7$ nasty buffet and it's the one time in a hundred that they want to extend that "gift" to us.

[busterpup]

Usually my dad pays but we insist on paying sometimes as a gesture (more for my own peace of mind than his).

With my ILs they will usually pay, but we have been paying about half the time recently.

Generally speaking, the parents in the situation usually pay.

[msmerymac]

Depends on who we go with and what we're doing. If my parents are staying with us, for example, they'll usually pay for a nice meal. Other times we split it. I've paid for my parents before around their birthdays and whatnot. I think my in-laws usually pay for us, but we rarely go out to dinner with them because my MIL usually likes to cook.

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2014 14:31:37 GMT -5 rootbeerfloat said:

My parents usually pay. We offer, and sometimes they will let us cover the tip, but generally, they do.

We don't eat with the ILs often, but we typically pay.

My in-laws do that -- if we pay, they're always like "Can I cover the tip?"  

Is that a normal thing for people to do?  I always thought it was strange.  To me, either you split the bill or someone treats.  And if someone treats, they treat.

[jr009j]

They typically pay unless DH grabs the check first. DH has been known to "go to the bathroom" and pay the check, especially when we eat out with both sets of parents because the tussle over who is paying is annoying.

[Deleted]

My parents would never, ever let us pay. My ILs will usually pay, but we've gone on vacations with them where, by the end, FIL stops objecting when DH puts his credit card down (which is totally fair.)

Both sets of parents are incredibly generous.

[womet]

If we're with my dad, I let him pay. But we usually go to their house and cookout or he'll order a Chick-fil-a tray.
If we're with my mom, sometimes we split it and sometimes she pays.
If we're with my FIL, we try to take turns paying. We let him pay because it makes him feel good.

[lilles]

It is sort of difficult for me because I was raised with whoever makes the invitation pays. This weekend my parents (retired) invited us to lunch and my DDs picked a super casual order at the counter place. We got there first and DH immediately orders our stuff and didn't want to wait for them to come in (a minute later) and order for my parents. Then my parents were upset because even though it was a casual place they had invited us and wanted to pay for us.

DH's family everyone always gets separate checks regardless of who invited and BIL, SIL, FIL and MIL all make $$$ so it shouldn't be an issue but they are all very thrifty.

I have tried to explain to my parents numerous times that it is a difference in family dynamics and DH isn't trying to be rude (he just doesn't like people to pay for us)but still my parents feelings get hurt and it makes for a tense lunch/dinner.

[ddi741]

Depends. Sometimes they pay, sometimes we pay, sometimes we split it.

[pamela]

We pay for DH's parents because they don't have much money. My dad insists on paying for us. Every so often when they are visiting us he lets us pay, but that's rare.

[Marmee]

With MIL she often does but we always try to at least chip in. I've been much more proactive in paying & DH has followed suit. I insist on paying when we invite, to not do so is just rude to me. I know she's got tons more money than us but we can afford it & we have 6, she's just one. Plus she babysits for us free on occasion. Also it irks me that in 12yrs I've never seen either of my BILs even offer to pay, chip in, pay a tip or anything...even when we pay for them. By your mid-30s, it's time to at least offer. With my parents...mostly we pay. Occasionally if my Dad is with us, he'll insist on it especially if going out was their idea.

[raangoli]

It depends. If it's for one of their birthdays or a holiday (like Mother's Day etc.) then we pay. If it's one of our birthdays, then they pay. Sometimes we split if it's for a holiday (e.g. Easter, Christmas Eve, etc.).

[rootbeerfloat]

Jul 1, 2014 14:32:51 GMT -5 v said:

Jul 1, 2014 14:31:37 GMT -5 rootbeerfloat said:

My parents usually pay. We offer, and sometimes they will let us cover the tip, but generally, they do.

We don't eat with the ILs often, but we typically pay.

My in-laws do that -- if we pay, they're always like "Can I cover the tip?"  

Is that a normal thing for people to do?  I always thought it was strange.  To me, either you split the bill or someone treats.  And if someone treats, they treat.

I don't know if it's normal or common. Since my parents almost always treat, we don't have opportunities to reciprocate, so offering to cover tip/drinks/dessert is just a gesture of thanks, I guess.

[SJ]

They usually pay.

If we initiate the meal or it's a special occasion, we will pay.

[mich1]

Every single dinner out is a battle over who pays.

My SO has been known to excuse himself to the restroom, snag the waitress before she brings the bill to the table in order to stop my dad from paying.

Same thing happens when we go out with his family, unless it is a specific occasion (birthday, Mother's day).

[mrshandy]

My parents - they pay

My MIL - we pay

My FIL - he probably pays, but honestly I can't remember if we have ever gone out together since they live out of state

My H's grandmother on his Dad's side - she pays

[sjh722]

ILs always insist on paying.

My dad always pays if we are out with both my parents. If it's just my mom and me she'll let me treat sometimes - it's still probably 70/30 her/me.

[imojoebunny]

Our parents pay. We don't go out to eat with them more than two or three times a year and usually travel to do so.

[casarosada]

If we are with my mom - she pays some times but we always try to get the check split before she gives them her card. Ditto with my dad.
If we're with my ILs, they always pay.

[hopenotlost]

If it's my dad, normally he pays, unless somehow we manage to grab the bill first lol.

If it's my mom, it is a toss-up. Sometimes she pays, sometimes we do.

If it is MIL, we always pay. She NEVER offers, even if she asks us to go out to dinner. But honestly, it's just another way for us to remind her that we don't need her paying. BIL milks the crap out of her, she's always having to pay for his and his gf's stuff, along with diapers and food for their 3 kids. So...yeah... We don't go out with her very often.