My stupid ex

[mel]

I swear if it's not one thing it's another. Our custody agreement states that I am supposed to offer my ex the opportunity to keep DS if I need overnight childcare before I hire a babysitter. I WORK overnight so of course I need overnight childcare. So dipshit decided on certain stipulations that would have to be in place in order for her to want to keep him overnight. I got sick of listening to her stipulations and rules (only weekdays and no weekends , have to use her daycare and pay for it during the day etc) so I hired a nanny to come and stay with DS while I work. Bitch found out and contacted her attorney and I found out today that they plan to file contempt action on me because I didn't want to work my work schedule around when she wanted me to work so it would be convenient times for her to have him. Fucking bitch has gone against the custody agreement on so many different things that I have let slide that I am over it. Totally over it and ready to battle. I spent all afternoon and evening compiling all of the evidence that I have against her when it comes to what she's done to violate the custody agreement and I am headed to see the attorney tomorrow. In the meantime...I called out for work tonight because I am just emotionally drained.

Eta: the stipulations are hers that she came up with on her own...they are not in the custody agreement.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Just so I understand, your ex is pissed off because you won't alter your work schedule to suit whatever bullshit situation is convenient for her? Kids aren't convenient. Ugh. I'm annoyed for you. Sounds like she had the right of first refusal and isn't taking it. Do you have alternatives? Family members who are willing to take DS overnight when you need it?

I don't know the circumstances around your separation but it seems like she is doing some extremely immature and petty retaliation bullshit. I'm so sorry. You don't need this kind of stress and parents shouldn't be using their children as pawns in their games of power-tripping. She seems to be acting like a control freak. That's unfair to you and your son.

[mel]

She has the right of first refusal and she wants to take it only when it's convenient for her...which is fine. But then when I hired a nanny to cover the nights that aren't convenient for her she freaked out and suddenly wants me to purposely schedule my work around her schedule so she will always be able to keep him and because I didn't let her have her way suddenly I'm in contempt and she wants to go back to court. Umm...hello! I don't have to work my life around yours. We aren't together anymore! It doesn't work that way.

We split due to her severe control issues and her inability to cut the cord attached to her mom. After 10 years of being told how to live my life I was done! I am my son's bio mom. I allowed her to adopt him which gave her parental rights over him and apparently she thinks she can use him to try to control me and my actions.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

God, mel, I can certainly see your ex's control issues shining through in her actions right now. I really feel for you, and I'm so sorry. Vent all you need to. *hugs*

[1confused1]

Pretty sure I could have written the same post but he constantly hangs himself in front of the mediators and court.

Hang in there! !! Hopefully the court can see through her controlling ways.

[MauMau]

I'm sorry mel Hang tight. Let the lawyer do the grunt work for you.

Complete bullshit that your ex thinks you should make your overnight work a edible com isn't to her. Utter shit.

[prettyinpearls]

My first thought was that you need to have your CO modified to read that your X has first right of refusal OUTSIDE of your scheduled working hours. This way she can have your DS if you're unable to care for him outside of your working hours. That's how my CO reads -- XH gets first right of refusal if I'm unable to care for DS1 for a period of more than 4 hours outside of his normal daycare hours (I work 8-5). This way I'm not legally bound to offer DS1 to him if I need a sitter for a few hours,considering it's usually last minute and XH lives nearly 3 hours away.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[riverpestie]

:(That sucks. I am really sorry.

[Deleted]

That sounds so frustrating. *hugs*

[stephreloaded]

What are the stipulations she came up with to take care of DS?

If she is taking you to court, I would make sure to change the CO to something that is most suitable for you and that does not include your working hours.

Also, I think that First Right of Refusal is a PITA when the time period is way too short. I don't think I would like to have anything less than 8 hours there because it gives her room to have control over what you do. What if you want to go out at some point? She will start asking for explanation of every little thing you do. Do not give her that power.

[mel]

I'm getting ready to head to the attorney's office now so hopefully I will have an update when I leave. It's ridiculous to think that she wants me to only work on the days that she says she can watch him overnight and that I have to use (and pay for) her daycare while I sleep during the day. I should be able to have the childcare that works for me and my work schedule.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Good luck, mel. I really hope this goes in your favor.

[mel]

The appt went well. Basically, I am not in contempt and if they try to file a contempt action against me, we will file for custody modification on the grounds that my ex has violated the custody agreement multiple times and that DS has come back on 3 separate occasions with questionable bruising in which his pediatrician stated are not in a pattern of typical toddler bruises. So my attorney is going to contact her attorney and see what their plan is before we do anything else right now.

[1confused1]

Good news!!!

[seabitch]

Sounds good Mel, the entire process can be so exhausting!

[stephreloaded]

Jul 8, 2014 15:24:18 GMT -5 mel said:

The appt went well. Basically, I am not in contempt and if they try to file a contempt action against me, we will file for custody modification on the grounds that my ex has violated the custody agreement multiple times and that DS has come back on 3 separate occasions with questionable bruising in which his pediatrician stated are not in a pattern of typical toddler bruises. So my attorney is going to contact her attorney and see what their plan is before we do anything else right now.

If you are thinking that there might be abuse, you need to do something more and do it fast.

[LoveBug]

Oh no, I hope your attorney gets this cleared up. What a bitch!

Eta, just saw your update about the bruising. I hope it ends up being nothing.

[MauMau]

Meant this in the other thread. Sorry.