Do you care if no one cheers you on?

[cinco]

I like seeing my kids and H during races, but it isn't something I need or ask for. We have a few local races that are more family oriented which is fun, but for the most part I do them on my own. I wouldn't be able to race with out my H or my parents watching the kids for long runs and races. That is way more important to me than having a cheering section.

[enfuego23]

My DH is great with being supportive of my races. He doesn't care for running at all but he knows how much it means to me and he supports that. DH has no problem with me making weekend trips for us that revolve around a race - he enjoys them and loves it when I plan a vacation since he usually does all of the grunt work with vacation planning.

I joined a running group 3 years ago and it was nice to have support from them at my marathon.

[gummybear]

When I ran my first half my family and DH (then FI) watched and cheered me on. DH even came with me to Indianapolis when I did the Mini. These days, no one comes. My brother watched me in the Philly half last year but only because I slept at his place the night before.

To be honest I am not really sure how I feel. I've run 5 halfs and a 2 10 milers so I am past the point of needing encouragement (I don't mean that in a haughty way, I just mean that I've done it so I don't need the support like I did the first couple times). Plus it is a huge PITA to get downtown for the races, park, stand there, cheer, actually see me as I run by, and meet up after. We have two young kids, which makes it even harder. If I ever ran a full I would want DH there for sure though.

I kind of like being by myself. I am drawn to running because it is a solitary sport. I like the alone time. I do better when I zone out. If I know someone is there, it is actually a bit distracting for me. To have to be talking before the race, to keep my eyes open and to be alert to be able to see them, and the euphoria of finishing can be ruined by scanning throngs looking for your family. My best race came when I was all alone the entire time, and sat for about an hour after, just silent, taking it all in.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. I guess I just have mixed feeling about it.

[hannahb]

Jul 8, 2014 10:24:36 GMT -5 @vtcupcake said:

This is going to be a bit of a special snowflake situation, so bear with me.

I think get more satisfaction from having random strangers cheer me on at a race than my family/friends. It's not that I don't love them to pieces and believe me, I'm so freaking psyched they wanted to wake up at the asscrack of dawn and be at the race for me and to be my running sherpa and everything. But them being there adds an extra layer of pressure to my race, that I NEED to do well for them and not just me. Once upon a time, when I was a serious pianist, I could easily play in front of a crowd of thousands and be just fine, but if my faimly/bf/etc were there my hands would get clammy and I'd get a lump in my throat and performing wouldn't come as easily. People that don't know me and just want me to run by them while they cheer are far easier to face than my family expecting me to run a certain way towards them. If they're not there, I think I run better, at least more for me than trying to impress them to compensate for them being there. I don't know if that makes sense.

Also, exhibit A: My standing half marathon PR is the one half that I had zero personal cheer squad.

But that's just me, and obviously your mileage may vary. If you are feeling like you want some support at your races, ASK FOR IT! It is no small feat to train to race and get yourself out there at a start line and that deserves to be celebrated before, during, and after the race.

This is me too.

[Deleted]

My DH will only come if he feels like it. Sometimes he goes for a walk with the dog and they meet me at the finish line. The last HM I did I went by myself as he was busy. I felt a bit sad and a bit independent too, which I like. Unfortunately I fell in a heap over the line and would have appreciated someone else driving home, but it was fine.

I don't think you are crazy, it's how you feel. I only feel that way when I arrive at an airport - especially when I fly back to Australia which is a 26+hour flight. It would be nice for someone to greet me.

[jchokie79]

I know what you mean!

When I ran the Pgh Half in May. There was this girl whose family and friends were on every corner (so it seemed) with signs and pics of her. I was so jealous and wished I had that. But then I would just pretend they were cheering for me.

I'm kind of used to it to be honest. Outside of DH and a couple of close friends no one else really gives a rats ass about my races. That's why I have you guys!!!

[trigal]

Jul 8, 2014 10:49:04 GMT -5 teacup said:

Jul 8, 2014 10:22:54 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

My H is not interested in my races.  I wish he was, but he's just not.  He's come to my marathons and stood at the finish line, but mostly because we traveled for them and they are a bigger deal to me.  I wouldn't even bother to ask him to come to any less-important-to-me-races.  Have you asked your SO if he would want to come see you?

I don't think you're crazy, it does make me a little jealous when I see spouses and kids cheering others on, but over the years I've become more accepting of it I guess.  And when you start to do a ton of races, it seems a little impractical to get really excited over every one.

He has asked, with a surprised voice, like, "oh, do you want me to be there?" and I think of him with our kid(s) and the impracticality of it all and say, reluctantly but firmly, "no" because it wouldn't work out. So I understand I put myself in this position.

But maybe I want them to make a sign anyway and hang it up on the front door?

And I also understand that a year ago, when I first started running, I understood how much of an asshole I'd been to my running friends in the past because I didn't "get it" and you just don't until you start to run and race. So there's that.

Okay, now you have to ask him to come. He hasn't bee there because you told him he didn't have to be. Pick a race and ask him to come. Let him know it's important to you. He will get an idea of what it's like for you and as a spectator/cheerleader. You want a sign on the front door, but he doesn't know that. He can't read your mind!!!

[ktzmoh]

I still haven't forgiven h for being too hung over to get up for my first HM, despite being kid free and able to walk to the race course. I was running with my sister though and it's always nice to cross the finish line together with her, so that was good.

Since then I've cared less, but I've informed him that he WILL be at the marathon finish line.

I get it and I've traveled an hour and a half with two young kids to cheer for a friend, rushing around to cheer for her at a few places on the marathon course. So I really do think it's important to be supported.

I

[libbygrl109]

I kind of have mixed feelings. For shorter races, I really don't mind if DH and DS didn't come. I love that they are there for me, but I always feel like I have to keep them occupied beforehand, and feel bad when I want to do anything to prepare for the race. However, I really wanted the support at my first half. I loved that they surprised me at the first water stop, when I wasn't expecting them until at least mile 7. If you want him to come, then say so. He may think that it's just something you do, so doesn't really think he has a role to play in it.

[sadlebred]

I've learned to love going to race by myself. I could care less if anyone is there to cheer me on. I have plenty of friends and teammates at the races that do. Races are "me" time, and I don't have to keep anyone occupied/entertained/happy/fed/etc.

[hannahb]

My last marathon my H asked to come. Of course I said yes. Afterwards I couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, he answered his phone. He was in the beer garden. Thanks for the support honey...

[shauni27]

Late to the game, as usual.

I don't have kids, but my husband is pretty supportive of my bigger (halves) races that I run--he comes out, cheers, etc (except for one that I traveled for alone).

local 5ks that I do he rarely comes to, usually because of a conflicting schedule, but always checks in after. I used to wish he was there to cheer me on, but now I don't care.

However, I LOVE the kids who cheer their parents on at races, so I would love to experience that in the future if we ever have kids.

[shauni27]

Jul 9, 2014 4:37:40 GMT -5 hannahb said:

My last marathon my H asked to come. Of course I said yes. Afterwards I couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, he answered his phone. He was in the beer garden. Thanks for the support honey...

the only local 5K race my husband will come to with me occasionally is the st. patricks day race that ends at a beer garden, haha.

[autumnfire]

I haven't run a 5k so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

If I worked hard to go to a race I would want someone to share that success with. While yes it's a self gratification of your success it's also nice at the end of the race to have someone there to pat you on the back.

Have you ever communicated your want for them to go to your races? If not I'd take this opportunity to say something. Not make them feel bad but basically. "I really would like you to come to my next race. Nothing would be more rewarding than hearing your voice cheering me on and greeting you at the finish line. I realize this may not be exciting for you but it's something that I really need."

[bostonmichelle]

Super late to this. My DH has come to most of my races with me. He doesn't enjoy running but I always ask him if he wants to come and he wants to come which is easier for me with car keys and parking and all that. I usually race with friends or my sister.

One race I didn't know anyone there and I just made friends with some random people which was fun. One guy was training for Boston so I picked his brain a bit. Then again I seem to make friends everywhere, I was on jury duty the last two days and a couple of us traded phone numbers.

[InBetweenDays]

I'm late to this too. DH rarely comes to races. He came to the first marathon I ran, and the first triathlon. I think maybe the first 1/2 marathon too. But those were all a long time ago.

Since then (unless he is running too) it is just such a hassle for him to get the kids up and out to maybe see me for 1 minute on the course that I haven't bugged him about it. I have a fairly large group of friends that run, so now running is "me" time and time to hang out with my girl friends who are runners. I figure he shows his support by watching the kids while I go off on my long runs or any races that I travel for.

All that said, if I was in your situation and really wanted him there for support I would convey that.

[InBetweenDays]

Jul 9, 2014 6:54:23 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Jul 9, 2014 4:37:40 GMT -5 hannahb said:

My last marathon my H asked to come. Of course I said yes. Afterwards I couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, he answered his phone. He was in the beer garden. Thanks for the support honey...

the only local 5K race my husband will come to with me occasionally is the st. patricks day race that ends at a beer garden, haha.

Ha, this is so DH. He has always been a very casual runner. A few years ago he came up to me all excited to tell me about this Oktoberfest half marathon that is in this very Bavarian-esque town. The race was on a Saturday - perfect for drinking beer! I said "You want to run a half marathon?!?" He said "No, you will, but we can make a fun weekend of it!". Turns out he did run it with me, but still...

[osulori]

Jul 8, 2014 11:46:27 GMT -5 Brit said:

Nah. I don't care. I run for me.

This is me too.  I can think of maybe two races that J has seen me do in the last almost 8 years I've been running, and both were because he was riding with someone else and they kind of dragged him along.  It's just not his thing and I'm fine with that.

[sassystace]

Jul 8, 2014 11:29:23 GMT -5 taratru said:

Sometimes I do want people there...usually it's when I pass signs that say "Go Mom!" or some other variation of that.

But I realize getting these kids out the door, to a viewing spot, and entertained just for a few seconds of seeing me really is a GIANT pain. If it's a short race and there's a kids race, it makes things easier.

Otherwise, I just pretend all the people cheering are cheering for me.

I agree with all of this and yes, I too pretend people all the people are cheering for me.  I even wave to groups of especially supportive ones.

It's really not all that fun to watch races--you stand along a street, actively searching for the person you are cheering for just to miss them or have them pass you and then you have to wait around some more.  My H has tried to be supportive and come to my bigger races but I understand his point of view that watching me run by in a crowd of thousands of other runners isn't his favorite thing to do.