I often look around and wonder "when did I become a grown up?".
I look at my girls and am in awe of the fact they they are mine. Sometimes, the fact that these tiny little people are counting on me for their every need and to ensure they grow up to be successful adults is overwhelming.
I also can't believe sometimes that I'm in charge of all these medications and orders for patients. What?
I didn't have as important of a job as you do, but I used to feel this way all the time when I worked in a hospital. Like, "wow, I could really screw this up for someone!"
It's hitting me harder with 3 and about to turn 30. In some respects I feel like I should still be carefree and living it up, but I have THREE people that depend on me to not let them kill themselves everyday.
Post by jamaga2583 on Jul 10, 2014 20:17:50 GMT -5
Every day of my life. It hit me pretty hard the other day when someone said a mildly dirty word and I started to snicker... Oh, my god, I am SO not mature enough to be someone's mother.
I feel like this especially at times like this upcoming weekend. Our good friend is having a 30th birthday celebration at a bar and I needed to arrange for my parents to babysit and I'm worried about pumping in the car of a bar parking lot. The following day is my younger brother's 30th birthday bash and we can't stay late bc we will have the kids.
I used to look forward to weekends like this. Now I'm dreading the hangover.
Emerson Kate, born 38w5d on 4/6/12 at 6:02 p.m., 5 lbs 13 oz and 18 3/4 inches. Lucas Matthew, born 39w5d on 4/11/14 at 8:20 a.m., 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches.
Post by dixeedeluxe on Jul 10, 2014 21:10:33 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like Adeline isn't real. Like she is going to go away or something. I suck her up because it's the weirdest most loving feeling. So hard to describe. Like shes all big and how did that happen?
C25K...it works Seaside 5K...........40:45(2012) Turkey Trot..........41:30(2012)/37:08(2013)/37:40(2014) St Pat's 5K..........39:27(2013)/38:48(2014)/35:12(2015) Belair Town Run......38:09(2013)/36:27(2014) Back To Football 5K..37:36(2013)/43:44(2015) Balt Run Fest 5K.....34:59(2013)/41:50(2014)/35:54(2015)
I feel that way even more as he gets older. Like, he LOOKS to me for things and permission and guidance. Tonight he wanted to shut the waiting room door at the doctor's office, so he held the handle and gave me a questioning look. I was like, shit, I don't know if you're allowed to do that. But you think I know. And i guess I'm supposed to know. So now I have to make something up. It's never as black and white as "don't steal or lie or kill people or do hard drugs."
This is where I am. Turning 7 and starting 2nd grade seems so much more grown up than 6 and in 1st grade. She's so much closer to double digits! When I think about that, I wonder sometimes, "When did I grow up? Wasn't college just a few years ago?"
And then I realize, I met my best friend the first day of freshman year, so I've known her for 16 years. I realize I became an adult 16 years ago. And then I feel very betrayed by time.
When school starts about a month we can cry on each other's shoulder about having 2nd graders.
Dude, I've got a 4th grader and 2nd grader. I don't know how I let this happen.
Post by breezy8407 on Jul 10, 2014 21:59:20 GMT -5
Yes. In fact it's glaringly obvious to me how much I rely on my mom. We went to their lake cabin last weekend and are going to a friends this weekend. I have to account for and plan for so many more things! Apparently I can't travel with my kids without my mom.
When this place is a mess and Violet is running around like a crazy person I just want to yell "WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE!?"
But it's me. The answer is me. Fuck.
This reminds me of the Laotian janitor we had for our college newspaper newsroom. I can't remember her name for the life of me, but she would always come in and yell, "WHO IN CHAR HERE?"