I would be livid if I was the GF

[locarb]

XH knocked up his GF expecting a son via C/S 7/30. He's already decided he can't visit with our girls the month of August bc of a NB adjustment and GF can't drive from the op.
the baby's name will be Max. Max was the name we chose for a boy if we ever had one. The middle name is the same as my MN. Apparently, the MN is a fam name for the GF. She has no idea the names also play a significance in our previous life. XH has no plans of living with her besides the first few weeks.  

I know it may take a while for the GF to realize but been him not seeing his other kids for a month, choosing not to help her full time and if she ever learns of the name significance I would be pissed. But hey, maybe she's not as uptight as me?

im just dreading the decrease in CS if he decides to file for the son too.

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Oof, yeah I would be pissed about all of that! How long have they been together?

[locarb]

Jul 10, 2014 19:27:27 GMT -5 pantsoffdanceoff said:

Oof, yeah I would be pissed about all of that! How long have they been together?

10 mo

[LoveBug]

That's BS that he can't make any time to see his kids for an entire month. It's all a little crazy that he's been with his gf for 10 months and she is due in 2 weeks. Ugh. Hope your payments aren't impacted!

[Deleted]

He sounds lovely.     Hope your CS isn't effected. 

[prettyinpearls]

Jul 10, 2014 21:44:44 GMT -5 inara said:

I don't know about your state, but here they don't reduce child support payments just because you had another kid. Unfortunately, the 2nd mother usually gets less than she would have if the father wasn't already paying out child support to someone else, because they have a cap on what percentage of income can be taken for child support.

It's that way here too. In the eyes of the courts, you knew the man already had another child(ren) and you should've taken that into consideration when reproducing with him (or, the guy already knew he had a child(ren) to support, and if he can't afford it, he shouldn't of had more).

[becwheat]

I am back and forth with the name thing, it would be weird at first, but if he really loved the name then oh well!

Here is a crazy concept for you X... maybe he could spend time with your LOs and take them to meet their new sibling?! Instead of "sorry I can't see you for a month because I have a new kid now."

[prettyinpearls]

I guess I don't see the big deal with the names. Max is very, very common. And maybe your XH doesn't even realize the MN is the same as yours? :: shrugs :: I dunno. I just know my XH wouldn't remember something like that.

Random -- my bio dad named his son (the product of his affair) the name my mom said was going to be my name if I was a boy. Tyler. Very common, NBD.

[riverpestie]

Jul 11, 2014 8:33:24 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

Jul 10, 2014 21:44:44 GMT -5 inara said:

I don't know about your state, but here they don't reduce child support payments just because you had another kid. Unfortunately, the 2nd mother usually gets less than she would have if the father wasn't already paying out child support to someone else, because they have a cap on what percentage of income can be taken for child support.

It's that way here too. In the eyes of the courts, you knew the man already had another child(ren) and you should've taken that into consideration when reproducing with him (or, the guy already knew he had a child(ren) to support, and if he can't afford it, he shouldn't of had more).

It's that way here, too! 
It is my understanding that CS is not reduced due to more children, it can only be reduced if you go back to court and get it reduced. 

[locarb]

Unfortunately, as it was explained to me the CS would be reduced due to more children and multiple partners. Maybe I'm wrong bc that would be less worrying for me.

I'm not upset about the name as I realize I don't own a name. I was thinking the GF may be hurt if she learned the name has signifcance to our past life together.

His other actions don't bother me either.  Well they do but they don't atleast not to a severe degree. I was angry with his schitty ways all through our marriage. Now, I realize that's just him.