Toddlers in EI- not really doing much??

[cep1976]

My daughter just turned 2 and has been in EI since 6 months, first for gross motor, and now for gross motor and speech. She is very reserved and takes a long time to warm up to strangers, so she has cried during therapy. One of her therapists was never able to connect with her, and gave up after a few months since my kid just cried and cried every time she laid eyes on her. They assigned us another therapist, who my daughter seemed to adjust to much better. Toddlers cry, my daughter will cry if you give her a banana and it's fully peeled, instead of handing her a partially peeled one. I wouldn't take one instance of crying during therapy too seriously, but would if it goes on. You are also absolutely within your rights to ask for a different therapist if you don't feel your son is connecting with this one.

A lot of EI does look like play. It's play with integrated therapy. Kids that age are not capable of sitting down and having a formal therapy session the way an older child is. The therapist should be explaining to you what she is doing and why, so you can integrate it into your play at home.

If my daughter wasn't connecting with her therapist, and the therapist was not explaining to me what she was doing and how we could support the therapy at home, I would absolutely ask for a different therapist. I wouldn't be comfortable with a therapist who asked me to be stern with my child for doing normal things a kid that age does. I mean, stern with him for not repeating words? I can't make my 2 year old do anything she is not interested in.

I also think it's very normal for your son to do more for you at home than he will for the therapist. My daughter is the same way, so we often video her doing things that she won't do for the therapist, so we can show her therapists and they can get a better sense of what she is capable of.

[cep1976]

Jul 11, 2014 7:04:09 GMT -5 kylerules said:

Jul 11, 2014 6:37:28 GMT -5 cep1976 said:

My daughter just turned 2 and has been in EI since 6 months, first for gross motor, and now for gross motor and speech. She is very reserved and takes a long time to warm up to strangers, so she has cried during therapy. One of her therapists was never able to connect with her, and gave up after a few months since my kid just cried and cried every time she laid eyes on her. They assigned us another therapist, who my daughter seemed to adjust to much better. Toddlers cry, my daughter will cry if you give her a banana and it's fully peeled, instead of handing her a partially peeled one. I wouldn't take one instance of crying during therapy too seriously, but would if it goes on. You are also absolutely within your rights to ask for a different therapist if you don't feel your son is connecting with this one.

A lot of EI does look like play. It's play with integrated therapy. Kids that age are not capable of sitting down and having a formal therapy session the way an older child is. The therapist should be explaining to you what she is doing and why, so you can integrate it into your play at home.

If my daughter wasn't connecting with her therapist, and the therapist was not explaining to me what she was doing and how we could support the therapy at home, I would absolutely ask for a different therapist. I wouldn't be comfortable with a therapist who asked me to be stern with my child for doing normal things a kid that age does. I mean, stern with him for not repeating words? I can't make my 2 year old do anything she is not interested in.

I also think it's very normal for your son to do more for you at home than he will for the therapist. My daughter is the same way, so we often video her doing things that she won't do for the therapist, so we can show her therapists and they can get a better sense of what she is capable of.

My son warms up pretty fast. He is just stubborn. He likes her when she plays but cries when she tries to make him say words. If he starts crying - at this point in his development he will not say the word. It will just turn into raging tears and misunderstanding.

Are you letting the therapist know this? Sounds like you two maybe have some communication issues, which is a big problem, as EI is definitely a team approach. She should be working closely with you to find a method that works. If she is not, and not explaining what she's doing, then you need to ask for a different therapist.

[cep1976]

Jul 11, 2014 8:37:20 GMT -5 kylerules said:

Yeah, I guess I just want to do what she thinks is best. She told me a lot parents have issues with kids crying but its what works the best.

I think this is some BS. The same thing doesn't work best for all kids. It's clearly not working for your kid. You either need to work with her to find something that does work, or ask for another therapist.

[whattheheck]

Ask her to explain how what she is doing is addressing the specific issue your son has - i.e., cognitive, expressive, receptive, etc. And the issues underlying the difficulties he is having. Specifically, how will "A" lead to more expressive language skills? What intermediate goals will be accomplished? For example, my DD had expressive language issue that was partially as a result of a weak tongue. So she did tongue strengthening exercises with her (who knew there was such a thing!) to build up her tongue strength to increase her expressive language skills. Ask her to connect the dots because you "don't have the background, education, and understanding" that she does so she doesn't feel challenged.

[MamaMaui24]

Their attention span is the same in years (so 2 years old = 2 minutes!). DS doesn't always participate either and it's frustrating. I think it is weird to punish him though. Unless not listening = misbehaving.

[lilac05]

I have to make a quick post & run...no, crying is not what works best. Maybe clarify that with her and see if there was a miscommunication.

As an SLP, I frequently tell my parents that if I'm doing my job well, it will look like I'm not doing anything special...just playing with the child. What you don't see is that I choose ALL toys available VERY carefully, and each response from me is very purposeful and calculated. There is a reason for 95% of what I did in sessions. (The other 5% is fun???because silly fun is important! too!)

That said, there are also some really crappy therapists (I think fairly few & far between, but they exist!) It's also important to get along with your therapist...if there's a personality conflict, it'll hinder therapy, too. Follow up with the therapist. Maybe there was a miscommunication, maybe you need to request a different therapist.

[downtoearth]

My DS#2 was in speech therapy from around 2.5 until 5. We had one fantastic SLP and then one terrible SLP. She actually asked my DS to sit on his own hands b/c he was "too fidgety when he says words." I learned that different SLPs are better with different kids. I'd just ask for a different SLP in her group or try to find one on your own. We too were in EI, so it's tough and sometimes you might have to pay out of pocket for a little while, but a good SLP would know what games and ways to engage your son in talking - not rely on you to put him in timeout.

ETA: Have you or the SLP started playing games with DS?  When DS was younger we did most of our work with games or wind up toys or cars that make noise that he can drive down a ramp, etc.  So he would work on saying a word 3 times (from a flashcard after modeling it with the SLP), then he got to choose a wind up toy to play with after or a car to race down the ramp.  Then he'd do another set of words and another turn at the game or toys. 

[hopecounts]

I agree with lilac05
DD is in speech and ABA. from the outside both look like 'just playing' but it's mostly purposeful play.
For example if DD wants to play with play dough and one of her current ABA goals is naming and recognizing colors they might ask her 'which color playdough?' or 'what color is the playdough' and require an answer before giving her access to the playdough
For speech it might be requiring 'I want playdough' or 'play with playdough' since we are working on 3 word combos currently.
basically the items are selected to naturally require certain responses.

All that said our expereince with EI was mediocre at best and we were far happier with our private SLP which is also the provider for the school system for the littles so DD has continued with them.

[booboo173]

Jul 11, 2014 13:09:33 GMT -5 kylerules said:

Jul 11, 2014 8:59:03 GMT -5 whattheheck said:

Ask her to explain how what she is doing is addressing the specific issue your son has - i.e., cognitive, expressive, receptive, etc. And the issues underlying the difficulties he is having. Specifically, how will "A" lead to more expressive language skills? What intermediate goals will be accomplished? For example, my DD had expressive language issue that was partially as a result of a weak tongue. So she did tongue strengthening exercises with her (who knew there was such a thing!) to build up her tongue strength to increase her expressive language skills. Ask her to connect the dots because you "don't have the background, education, and understanding" that she does so she doesn't feel challenged.

She doesn't really know what his issue is. She thought maybe he had some sensory issues but everything she does that is to encourage sensory he is fine with. She kept saying once he starts jumping on the trampoline is when she starts seeing improvement in speech in a lot of the kids. Well he has been jumping for awhile and has always been ahead in his gross motor stuff. We do have goals. In 6 months he should be able to speak in 2-3 worded sentences and have strangers understand him.

This may not be helpful but as an OT it stands out to me. If she thinks he has sensory issues is she qualified to handle them? Or is she consulting with someone who is? When ever I have worked on potential si issues with speech we collaborate because although movement does promote speech in some, it could overwhelm others causing shut down and decreasing speech. 

[hopecounts]

Jul 11, 2014 20:30:10 GMT -5 kylerules said:

Jul 11, 2014 14:48:17 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

I agree with lilac05
DD is in speech and ABA. from the outside both look like 'just playing' but it's mostly purposeful play.
For example if DD wants to play with play dough and one of her current ABA goals is naming and recognizing colors they might ask her 'which color playdough?' or 'what color is the playdough' and require an answer before giving her access to the playdough
For speech it might be requiring 'I want playdough' or 'play with playdough' since we are working on 3 word combos currently.
basically the items are selected to naturally require certain responses.

All that said our expereince with EI was mediocre at best and we were far happier with our private SLP which is also the provider for the school system for the littles so DD has continued with them.

I see her do this. It seems like my son is aware of what she is trying to do and he just shuts down. Now if he leads, instead of her he starts talking but he won't talk if he feels like he is being pushed to answer.

Have they considered selective mutism?

[downtoearth]

Jul 11, 2014 20:24:12 GMT -5 kylerules said:

Jul 11, 2014 13:58:51 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

My DS#2 was in speech therapy from around 2.5 until 5. We had one fantastic SLP and then one terrible SLP. She actually asked my DS to sit on his own hands b/c he was "too fidgety when he says words." I learned that different SLPs are better with different kids. I'd just ask for a different SLP in her group or try to find one on your own. We too were in EI, so it's tough and sometimes you might have to pay out of pocket for a little while, but a good SLP would know what games and ways to engage your son in talking - not rely on you to put him in timeout.

ETA: Have you or the SLP started playing games with DS?  When DS was younger we did most of our work with games or wind up toys or cars that make noise that he can drive down a ramp, etc.  So he would work on saying a word 3 times (from a flashcard after modeling it with the SLP), then he got to choose a wind up toy to play with after or a car to race down the ramp.  Then he'd do another set of words and another turn at the game or toys. 

We do the flashcard thing. DS refuses to do it though. He shuts down. No toy, nothing gets him to participate.

It took about 6 months with the great SLP before we could do it more than 2 words at home. The right SLP was the key for us. Hope you find a good solution soon.