OMG MY MOTHER

[Deleted]

*grumble*

I'm really trying to not let it bother me, since she's not really saying anything to me directly.

On every single picture on FB of someone else's kids (she's friends with a lot of H's family) or grand kids she comments something to the effect of "cute! must be nice!" or "wow, she's getting so grown up. I wish I had a grand kid" 

She tries to slyly slip in the kid thing when talking to me or H from time to time, but has pretty much dropped the grandiose "why do you hate me so much that you won't reproduce" bit, but omg, I'm still so annoyed that she's commenting like that on stuff.  

/vent 

PS feel free to tell me if I'm overreacting. 

[mkate710]

Not overreacting in my book. That's obnoxious. Yes, she is allowed to occasionally express her frustration at not getting grandkids, but not at every possible chance she gets and not on fb.

[ilovebed]

That's pretty annoying. She may or may not be passive aggressively directing it towards you, but it's still irritating.

[tacocat]

Not overreacting. I'm sorry. I wish she would accept your choice, it's not her life.

[Tiff]

Not overreacting. H and I have pretty much decided we're not having a baby together...EVERYONE is constantly asking when we will, blahblahblah. It is so annoying. I can't imagine how you feel She definitely needs to realize your choice and the fact that's what it is - your choice.

[madDawg228]

If it helps, if I saw a baby boomer-aged person posting something like that on FB I would think "Ewwwww, GTFOI!" Grandkids are not a right, and imo it's gross when people feel entitled to grandkids.

[Deleted]

Thanks for letting me vent guys!

[mkate710]

Jul 11, 2014 10:08:50 GMT -5 madDawg228 said:

If it helps, if I saw a baby boomer-aged person posting something like that on FB I would think "Ewwwww, GTFOI!" Grandkids are not a right, and imo it's gross when people feel entitled to grandkids.

This is so true. So much of the frustration with my MIL is the way she has her self worth and happiness in life tied up in what her kids do. She feels like they owe her a certain lifestyle that includes making her look good and giving her grandkids. Its not healthy. Your kids don't owe you anything. Bw your own person and live your own life and let them so the same. The kids are not responsible for your happiness.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 10:26:49 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Jul 11, 2014 10:08:50 GMT -5 madDawg228 said:

If it helps, if I saw a baby boomer-aged person posting something like that on FB I would think "Ewwwww, GTFOI!" Grandkids are not a right, and imo it's gross when people feel entitled to grandkids.

This is so true. So much of the frustration with my MIL is the way she has her self worth and happiness in life tied up in what her kids do. She feels like they owe her a certain lifestyle that includes making her look good and giving her grandkids. Its not healthy. Your kids don't owe you anything. Bw your own person and live your own life and let them so the same. The kids are not responsible for your happiness.

[toratoratori]

Hecka obnoxious. My dad was actively in the market for grandkids, but he'd only make the occasional joke to me - never snark behind my back.

Are you an only child?

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 11:11:43 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Are you an only child?

Lol. What was the giveaway?

[toratoratori]

Jul 11, 2014 11:39:17 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Jul 11, 2014 11:11:43 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Are you an only child?

Lol. What was the giveaway?

I'm an only, too, but since the grandkids thing is about to be covered, my parents prefer to harass me about my weight.

[mkate710]

Jul 11, 2014 11:48:52 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Jul 11, 2014 11:39:17 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Lol. What was the giveaway?

I'm an only, too, but since the grandkids thing is about to be covered, my parents prefer to harass me about my weight.

Wait, what?

You are growing them a f#%@&#&% grandchild...

[toratoratori]

Jul 11, 2014 11:52:03 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Jul 11, 2014 11:48:52 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

I'm an only, too, but since the grandkids thing is about to be covered, my parents prefer to harass me about my weight.

Wait, what?

You are growing them a f#%@&#&% grandchild...

It's not about the pregnancy - this has been going on since I was a kid. No one in our family is skinny, but they seem to think I should be.

Last time my mom made a comment I shut her down and told her there were going to be problems if I caught her ever making similar comments to the baby.

[mkate710]

Jul 11, 2014 12:03:35 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Jul 11, 2014 11:52:03 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Wait, what?

You are growing them a f#%@&#&% grandchild...

It's not about the pregnancy - this has been going on since I was a kid. No one in our family is skinny, but they seem to think I should be.

Last time my mom made a comment I shut her down and told her there were going to be problems if I caught her ever making similar comments to the baby.

Dang, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My mom has made comments about mine too, and it is so frustrating. But you're right, its one thing to talk to me like that... If she ever made a comment to a daughter of mine there would be a fight.

[toratoratori]

Jul 11, 2014 12:12:41 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:03:35 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

It's not about the pregnancy - this has been going on since I was a kid. No one in our family is skinny, but they seem to think I should be.

Last time my mom made a comment I shut her down and told her there were going to be problems if I caught her ever making similar comments to the baby.

Dang, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My mom has made comments about mine too, and it is so frustrating. But you're right, its one thing to talk to me like that... If she ever made a comment to a daughter of mine there would be a fight.

omg, SERIOUSLY? You're SUPER fit. WTF is she possibly griping about??

[fiddles]

Jul 11, 2014 12:49:56 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Does she ... KNOW yet? You know... about the fact that there is 100% no way for you to even carry a baby? heh

What she said.

Are you ever planning on telling her?

And no, you're not overreacting at all.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 14:09:28 GMT -5 fiddles said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:49:56 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Does she ... KNOW yet? You know... about the fact that there is 100% no way for you to even carry a baby? heh

What she said.

Are you ever planning on telling her?

And no, you're not overreacting at all.

Nope. My mom still doesn't know. I really can't ever tell her. I honestly think that it would kill her. 

[mrsrumfkin]

UW, I know you mentioned this wayyy back when you got it done, but I don't remember all the details. It's totally gross that she feels entitled to grandkids. Is it possible to tell her that you can't, no details, and leave it at that?

[toratoratori]

Jul 11, 2014 17:07:40 GMT -5 mrsrumfkin said:

UW, I know you mentioned this wayyy back when you got it done, but I don't remember all the details. It's totally gross that she feels entitled to grandkids. Is it possible to tell her that you can't, no details, and leave it at that?

This was kind of my thought, too. Like maybe if she thinks it's a foregone conclusion and not just something you're holding out on, she'll leave you alone? (Not that it's any of her business; this is mostly just a tactic to get her to stop harassing you.)

[mkate710]

Jul 11, 2014 17:35:53 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Jul 11, 2014 17:07:40 GMT -5 mrsrumfkin said:

UW, I know you mentioned this wayyy back when you got it done, but I don't remember all the details. It's totally gross that she feels entitled to grandkids. Is it possible to tell her that you can't, no details, and leave it at that?

This was kind of my thought, too. Like maybe if she thinks it's a foregone conclusion and not just something you're holding out on, she'll leave you alone? (Not that it's any of her business; this is mostly just a tactic to get her to stop harassing you.)

The problem with people like UW's mom and my MIL (and @uwhuskygirl correct me if I'm wrong about your mom) is if you give them that sort of answer they try to find a solution... "I bet that procedure can be reversed... You could try IVF...". Yes its insensitive and low of them but they generally don't take no for an answer.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 18:04:51 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Jul 11, 2014 17:35:53 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

This was kind of my thought, too. Like maybe if she thinks it's a foregone conclusion and not just something you're holding out on, she'll leave you alone? (Not that it's any of her business; this is mostly just a tactic to get her to stop harassing you.)

The problem with people like UW's mom and my MIL (and @uwhuskygirl correct me if I'm wrong about your mom) is if you give them that sort of answer they try to find a solution... "I bet that procedure can be reversed... You could try IVF...". Yes its insensitive and low of them but they generally don't take no for an answer.

My mom would offer to pay for a surrogate. Not joking a little bit. A few years ago jokingly offered me $11k to get pregnant.

H quickly shut that down and was like that's the worst ROI I've ever heard of if it takes like $500,000 to raise a kid.

I did elude to the face that (honestly) my doc said that if I did choose to get pregnant then I would probably have a pretty hard an uncomfortable pregnancy given the size of my Ute and whatnot. My mom really said, well we can find you a better doctor and that pain is temporary. Yeah. Insane.

[Tiff]

whaaaat? @uwhuskygirl, your mom is a bit crazy. Can't she accept her grand-puppy and be happy? Let her know if she needs a grand kid to borrow, I have a DD that should do the trick..totally kidding.

I wish she would back off

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 23:46:54 GMT -5 Tiff said:

whaaaat? @uwhuskygirl, your mom is a bit crazy. Can't she accept her grand-puppy and be happy? Let her know if she needs a grand kid to borrow, I have a DD that should do the trick..totally kidding.

I wish she would back off

The best I get from her about betty is indifference soooo yeah.

It's not like she doesn't have other kids to love. My 3 cousins live next door to my parents and my one cousin spends more time at my parent's house than she does at home.

Thanks though. I wish she'd back off too. Lol.

[mrsrumfkin]

Wow. That's really just... I have no words. I'm so sorry UW. *hugs*