newborn mamas

[D2M]

There are a bunch of us who just had babies. How are you all doing? Are you in survival mode still or are you slowly figuring things out? What has been the hardest part? Has any trick/tip helped you? (Share!) Are you sleeping?

Paging hokiegirl82 smock bowies pinotgrig narockshard Myrrhine kermit jjwritergirl chickadee77 and anyone else I may have missed.

My daughter will be five weeks on Sunday. Breastfeeding has been my biggest challenge (I posted here about my supply woes). I'm supplementing with formula, which broke my heart for a day or two, but I'm accepting it now because it's what she needs to grow and thrive. I've recently upped the ante on pumping, so she's getting more expressed milk from me in her bottles, and I'm ridiculously proud of every quarter ounce I eke out. Other than that, life is SO much better now than it was a couple of weeks ago. We're figuring out a rhythm and most days I get to shower AND leave the house, even if it's just to go to the ATM.

As for tips/tricks, it took me THREE WEEKS to figure out why my baby loved to party in the middle of the night and why it took me 2 hours to get her back to sleep.  Despite the millions of books I read in pregnancy, I somehow glossed over the part where you shouldn't turn on every light and watch TV on full blast during late-night feedings.  Feeding in the dark with no TV has significantly shortened the night-time wakings.  Go figure.

[pinotgrig]

Those first 2 weeks... Wow. Am so glad those are over. I'm really starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of some things - going out on solo trips during the day no longer terrifies me and I feel like I'm learning what his likes/dislikes and preferences are.

The hardest part for me was accepting how much my life had changed. This sounds so cheesy, but while I knew conceptually that babies eat often and wake up in the middle of the night, until I was actually doing those things I didn't realize how draining (emotionally, mentally, and physically) they would be. Having this little person being totally dependent on you was a big moment for me. H and I have been married 7 years so we were set in our ways, which also made the transition hard.

My best tip is to try to get on a schedule land routine. I try to feed at 7, 10, 1, and 4. If he displays hunger cues in between I'll feed him but we try to stick to this schedule, give or take an hour. I think it helps g but has been really helpful for me so I know roughly when I'll have some downtime to nap, straighten up, shower, etc. we also follow the eat, wake time, nap time routine with each feeding schedule.

Next up to tackle is pumping. I had planned on starting today but forgot I needed to sterilize everything first. Oops.

Can't wait to hear how you all are doing! I miss the days of GoP sometimes, but remind myself this a fun new adventure that I know will only keep getting better.

[catsarecute]

My baby is 3 months old but I just wanted to tell you all the hang in there. I had SO MANY people tell me that it gets easier, and it does! Sure, there are always new challenges but the first month (even 6 weeks) is so so hard. I think I nearly blocked it all out by now.

You are doing great. You are great moms. Your baby loves you.

[pitterwoo]

Nursing has been hard and painful, but now at week 5 it really does feel comfortable. I don't think my week 3 self would believe it.

Starting to work on pumping and introducing bottles for when I go back to work. This is harder than I expected emotionally to not be the one feeding her.
She hates to be put down, so I've been working on baby wearing the last couple weeks. The Ergo with the insert is nice, but hot for summer for a length of time. The Moby has been hard to get right because of stretchyness and it's too hot also. Finally stumbled across a gauze wrap (like A & A blankets). She's asleep in it right now!

[chickadee77]

Sleep. I'm not getting any. Nothing longer than a 2.5 hour stretch since she's been born. I keep it dark (well, dim - I can't change/feed in the dark), no TV, etc. She is up every 45 minutes overnight with hunger cues that move quickly to wailing. I love her dearly, but I am honestly starting to lose my shit. She's gotta sleep soon, right?

pinotgrig tell me about your schedule. How did you implement - did you just let her cry until feeding time?

Finally got her to take a paci, which buys me a little time. Also, her bum rash is getting better after eliminating Pampers and all prepackaged wipes.


ETA so I'm not a total Debbie Downer, breastfeeding has been surprisingly easy (except for the wakeups, of course) so far. I still have to use a nipple shield, but my pedi said 90% of her moms do and not to worry too much. Pumping has also been going well, so I'm hopeful that H will be able to give her some bottles and let me sleep for a few more hours in the near future.

[curbsideprophet]

It is possible that I am just lucky, but I am enjoying the newborn stage so much more this time around. I think the biggest thing is DS latched right away and did not have any of the latch issues that DD had. I have basically been able to feed him by myself from the start. With DD it took at least two people for at least two weeks. This is even with a tongue tie that has since been clipped. We have also been treated for thrush, but that seems to be under control for now. We are both off prescription medication but I am still taking a probiotic.

I have not started pumping yet, but plan to start that soon so that we can introduce a bottle.

I went to a babywearing meeting this week and borrowed a woven wrap. I did not really get into wrapping with DD and I want to try and get better at with DS. I hated the Moby with DD and did not try woven wraps until she was older. I was okay at it, but not great. Wraps seem so versatile, so I would love to be better at it with DS. It still takes me a bit to get him situated but he did calm down today after I got him in there.

[whitepicketfence]

DD3 just turned 5 weeks. Things have been going well. In comparison to a toddler and preschooler, she's a breeze!

She's just starting to get out of the sleepy newborn phase a bit. She sleeps great at night; she usually goes to sleep for the night around 11 and wakes once to eat around 4:30. She then sleeps until sometime between 6 and 7 am. She's had some gas issues the past few days which have made her fussier than usual. Otherwise, she's very content to be held or worn while I'm busy with the older girls.

[smock]

My normally awesome sleeper (6-6.5 hrs in a row at night) has just turned into an overnight mess--welcome to the six week growth spurt! She's been nursing longer and more frequently, she's definitely more fussy, and her daytime naps are suddenly 30-45 min long instead of the former 1.5-2hr naps.

But it will be over soon, right? Please?

The fun side is that she's smiling a lot, licking and staring at her hands, and she's mesmerized by toys and mobiles. It's really great watching her engage more with the world!

[starlily]

DD2 is almost 2 weeks old.

Things are going pretty well. Last week was tougher because she had jaundice, so we were back and forth to the hospital for several days in a row, and also had to use a phototherapy blanket at home.

Since she was early, she's a sleepy baby. We still have to wake her up every three hours to eat. DD1 had adjusted well to being a big sister.

(Note: I'm not seeking advice or tips here) Much like last time, breastfeeding is problematic for me. Day 12 & still no milk. Per the OB and LC's instructions, I'm still putting her to the breast for 15 minutes, feed 2oz formula, and then pump with a hospital grade pump for 15 minutes. I give her whatever bit of colostrum I pump out, but this time around I'm at peace with predominantly formula feeding, so I'm much less stressed out overall.

Physical recovery is going well. Haven't needed Motrin since last week.

[mannah]

Hi guys! I've been reading on here since my baby was born 7 weeks ago but haven't posted anything since being in GP. This seems to be a good time to jump back in.

Things overall have been really good. I seem to also have gotten lucky with the sleeping--now she is regularly sleeping in 5-6 hour stretches at night. Hallelujah.

My one big surprise is the poop hiatus she went on around 5 weeks---one say she just stopped pooping. And literally she has not gone in 18 days!! I've been in touch with my pediatrician and multiple others pedis who have reassured me that this can be totally normal for breast fed babies around 4-6 weeks. Their digestive system slows to allow for maximum absorption and the breast milk is so perfectly formulated that there's not much waste. She has tons of gas, tons of wet diapers, is not fussy or in any pain, has a great appetite and is gaining weight like normal, so it's just a waiting game. Apparently she is going for a world record as most babies start going again after 5-10 days. I've been doing some belly massage and bicycling her legs, and may start some rectal stimulation a possibly a glycerine suppository depending on how much longer it goes on. I seriously wish I had known about this possibility before I had her so I wouldn't have been so surprised when it started. Now I'm not worried just more like waiting for what I'm sure is going to be an insanely massive blowout

Did anyone else's babies go a long time without a BM? (I hate that term)

She's really alert now for long periods which is fun, and I'm loving the occasional smile (which may or may not be a coincidence).

Another surprise for me was that in the first week or so after she was born, I kinda went through a period of mourning the end of my pregnancy. I really enjoyed being pregnant and it ended so suddenly that once she was born I was really sad it was over! But loving the result

[pinotgrig]

chickadee77 - we kind of fell into the routine by accident. Those few days in the hospital I fed on demand and it made me feel so out of sorts to be constantly "on call". I had skimmed Baby Wise the last month of pg and picked it up after we got home from the hospital.

They suggest feeding every 3 hours and in between as needed, based on hunger cues (smacking lips, hands to mouth, crying). He's done pretty well sticking to 3 hours, though we do have our days (like today) where I feed every hour. Those times he's doing more for comfort usually than food, which I'm ok with.

I've avoided any CIO so far since he's so little. I feel like right now, if he's crying he needs something and I want to respond to him.

I do give him an extra 30 - 60 minutes of sleep in between feedings at night sometimes if he's sleeping soundly but try not to go longer than 4 hours in between feedings for supply purposes.

[andthentherewere10]

When is a baby no longer a newborn?

[mannah]

Jul 11, 2014 12:54:42 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

When is a baby no longer a newborn?

I was wondering the same thing! I posted with this group because our due dates were all within a few weeks so I felt like these were my people, but since my baby came 3 weeks early perhaps I'm stretching to be in the newborn phase still. She's 7 weeks today.

[starlily]

Jul 11, 2014 12:54:42 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

When is a baby no longer a newborn?

I want to say up to three months old based.on what I've heard/read in the past.

[SJ]

DD is 9 days old.

Overall I feel like things are going really well. Sleep is a mixed bag and I feel it's too early to notice real patterns or routines.

She has two basic modes:
1) eat then sleep for 2-3 hours, repeat
2) cluster feed constantly, with cat naps or fussiness in between

Sometimes the cluster feeding is at night, sometimes during the day.

Breastfeeding seems to be going well although I don't have a lot of engorgement. She has a little lip tie that I will ask more questions about.

My recovery is going well and I have already lost 38 pounds (8 more to go) - due to the ridiculous amount of swelling and water weight I had.

Slowly getting more awake/alert time which is encouraging.

I get emotional and weepy most days but only between 5-7PM- right when DH gets home and I start to wonder/dread how the night will go. He's done great with her but he gets so sad when she is fussy and says she doesn't like him which breaks my heart. Nope, you just don't have milk.

[chickadee77]

Jul 11, 2014 12:45:14 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

chickadee77 - we kind of fell into the routine by accident. Those few days in the hospital I fed on demand and it made me feel so out of sorts to be constantly "on call". I had skimmed Baby Wise the last month of pg and picked it up after we got home from the hospital.

They suggest feeding every 3 hours and in between as needed, based on hunger cues (smacking lips, hands to mouth, crying). He's done pretty well sticking to 3 hours, though we do have our days (like today) where I feed every hour. Those times he's doing more for comfort usually than food, which I'm ok with.

I've avoided any CIO so far since he's so little. I feel like right now, if he's crying he needs something and I want to respond to him.

I do give him an extra 30 - 60 minutes of sleep in between feedings at night sometimes if he's sleeping soundly but try not to go longer than 4 hours in between feedings for supply purposes.

Yeah, I know it's way early for CIO, so that's a no-go for me anyhow. I've been trying to stick with a loose routine, but she definitely sleeps better during the day (with light and noise), but then is up most of the night in the dark and quiet. I keep hoping this will sort itself out, but no luck so far.


Any advice from moms that have BTDT - I'd appreciate it! 

[pinotgrig]

Jul 11, 2014 13:07:42 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:45:14 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

chickadee77 - we kind of fell into the routine by accident. Those few days in the hospital I fed on demand and it made me feel so out of sorts to be constantly "on call". I had skimmed Baby Wise the last month of pg and picked it up after we got home from the hospital.

They suggest feeding every 3 hours and in between as needed, based on hunger cues (smacking lips, hands to mouth, crying). He's done pretty well sticking to 3 hours, though we do have our days (like today) where I feed every hour. Those times he's doing more for comfort usually than food, which I'm ok with.

I've avoided any CIO so far since he's so little. I feel like right now, if he's crying he needs something and I want to respond to him.

I do give him an extra 30 - 60 minutes of sleep in between feedings at night sometimes if he's sleeping soundly but try not to go longer than 4 hours in between feedings for supply purposes.

Yeah, I know it's way early for CIO, so that's a no-go for me anyhow. I've been trying to stick with a loose routine, but she definitely sleeps better during the day (with light and noise), but then is up most of the night in the dark and quiet. I keep hoping this will sort itself out, but no luck so far.


Any advice from moms that have BTDT - I'd appreciate it! 

www.troublesometots.com/newborn-baby-sleep-survival-guide/

This link has been helpful for me, too. Especially the bedtime thing - he goes to bed when we do so that I can maximize my sleep. So I feed at 10pm and get myself to bed around 10:30 or 10:45 while h rocks him to sleep and puts him down in the PnP.

Are you swaddling? Newborns spend most of their time in active sleep which the grunts, arm flails, and all that. Meaning they often wake themselves up. Swaddling contains some of that for more sleep.

[D2M]

chickadee77 I am on my phone now and can't see signatures so how old is your baby? I hope you get some more rest soon.

@starlily the d2m household loves formula. Baby is so much happier and actually gaining weight as opposed to when I was only breastfeeding, and that's the most important thing.

mannah, I missed being pregnant, too! The first week post partum I even got weepy about missing going to weekly obgyn appointments. Did not expect that at all.

[catsarecute]

Jul 11, 2014 12:43:32 GMT -5 mannah said:

.

Another surprise for me was that in the first week or so after she was born, I kinda went through a period of mourning the end of my pregnancy. I really enjoyed being pregnant and it ended so suddenly that once she was born I was really sad it was over! But loving the result

Me too! I actually cried the entire way home from my PP appointment. As in, the minute I got into my car, I was bawling. It really signaled the end of pregnancy for me (even though the baby was 6 weeks old!) and I loved loved loved being pregnant. Outside babies are pretty awesome, though.

[jeaniebueller]

DD is 5 weeks old and doing great. We are down to 1-2 wakeup super night, but like I posted earlier, I still need to establish a bedtime routine and transition her to the crib. I had tons of help from mom and mil the first 2.5 weeks. Thank goodness because I was dreading that time so much. We EFF, so no feeding issues. She is about 10 pounds now and eats 4 ounces every 2-3 hours.

[jeaniebueller]

chickadee77, how old is your baby? I can't see tickets. Just remember that the first 12 weeks, heck, the first year, is all survival mode. Do whatever works. And really, if the tv keeps you sane during these frequent wakings, by all means, turn it on.

[dulcemariamar]

Jul 11, 2014 13:07:42 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:45:14 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

chickadee77 - we kind of fell into the routine by accident. Those few days in the hospital I fed on demand and it made me feel so out of sorts to be constantly "on call". I had skimmed Baby Wise the last month of pg and picked it up after we got home from the hospital.

They suggest feeding every 3 hours and in between as needed, based on hunger cues (smacking lips, hands to mouth, crying). He's done pretty well sticking to 3 hours, though we do have our days (like today) where I feed every hour. Those times he's doing more for comfort usually than food, which I'm ok with.

I've avoided any CIO so far since he's so little. I feel like right now, if he's crying he needs something and I want to respond to him.

I do give him an extra 30 - 60 minutes of sleep in between feedings at night sometimes if he's sleeping soundly but try not to go longer than 4 hours in between feedings for supply purposes.

Yeah, I know it's way early for CIO, so that's a no-go for me anyhow. I've been trying to stick with a loose routine, but she definitely sleeps better during the day (with light and noise), but then is up most of the night in the dark and quiet. I keep hoping this will sort itself out, but no luck so far.


Any advice from moms that have BTDT - I'd appreciate it! 

For me it made no difference the first 3 months if I had the TV on or played on the computer while BF. I needed a "fun" distraction to get me through the night feedings.

[bowies]

DS is 10 days old today and we're starting to hit a groove. Our biggest challenge has been his weight, which added a crazy amount of stress at the beginning. Small baby + delayed milk production = not a good situation. I basically had a breakdown after our first pedi appointment where I was convinced a Teen Mom could do a better job than me. Thanks to the awesome guidance of our pedi practice and the advice on here, we've since righted the ship. He's out of the danger zone but still a little baby.

Because of his weight, we do a LOT of feedings. He's in a sorta-pattern of every hour feedings in the mornings, every 2 hours in the afternoons/evenings, and every 3 hours at night. Our life is eat, sleep, and poop on demand. We're still supplementing on occasion as well, usually at night.

I've had a couple of days where I battled the baby blues, but by and large, I'm digging the experience so far. The intensity of emotion I feel for him caught me by surprise. I love being cuddled up with him on the couch. In many ways I feel like time is zooming by and in other ways I'm impatient to have a more interactive baby in the house.

Nights are a little rough for us as well - DS is fickle with the RNP and can fuss a lot. He's not a fan of swaddling yet since the smallest sizes of the Velcro swaddles (like the SwaddleMe) are still too big for him and both H and I suck at the traditional swaddles. We get probably a total of 5-6 hours of sleep spread over 10 hours. Surprisingly I don't feel too crappy during the day. I shower and put on makeup like normal and the house is relatively clean. My H has been a giant help.

So that's where we are. I'm looking forward to more sleep and more weight gain. Oh, and getting out of the house finally at the 1 month mark (pedi's orders).

ETA: I plan to start pumping this week. I had to special order a set of flanges due to my apparently abnormally small nipples. Never thought I'd discuss my nipples online. You're welcome, Internet.

[speyedr]

Jul 11, 2014 13:05:17 GMT -5 starlily said:

Jul 11, 2014 12:54:42 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

When is a baby no longer a newborn?

I want to say up to three months old based.on what I've heard/read in the past.

This is what I have read as well. 

[chickadee77]

Jul 11, 2014 13:53:35 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

chickadee77, how old is your baby? I can't see tickets. Just remember that the first 12 weeks, heck, the first year, is all survival mode. Do whatever works. And really, if the tv keeps you sane during these frequent wakings, by all means, turn it on.

D2M

L is 3.5 weeks. So I know it's still early. Thanks for the words of encouragement - I really hope things straighten out soon! 

[dana2006]

DS is 15 days old. We just brought him home from the nicu 2 days ago. While having him in the nicu was hard, we did get a lot tips and education on how to care for him, and that was very helpful. Once he's home MIL came to stay with us for a few days to help out, and it's reassuring having an experienced mother at home. So far mil has cleaned the whole house and is doing a lot of cooking. All I have to do is nurse, pump, change diapers, and cuddle him. I feel that our introduction to parenthood has been gradual, with training wheels. I know we're really fortunate. Just now mil ran out of cleaning projects and she's starting to work in the yard--God bless her!

[sent]

Jul 11, 2014 12:54:42 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

When is a baby no longer a newborn?

DD was 7 weeks early.  I felt like I finally got 50% out of the newborn stage at 4.5 months when she got some head control.  The other 50% came at 5.5 months when she finally decided sleeping longer than 3 hours at night was cool.  It was like bonus newborn stage in our house.  

[narockshard]

J is 16 days old today and I think I'm still in the thick, or just getting out of, the really tough stage. The past 2 weeks have been soooo hard emotionally, mostly due to BFing. It has been tough from the get go; as much as her weight gain has been fine and everyone says she was getting enough milk from me I just know that is not the case and my baby is hungry. She's so much happier and content when we supplement with formula, but it has been agonizing deciding to do it because I'm afraid of what I'm doing to my supply, or thinking maybe I just have an extremely fussy newborn and just need to deal. But when she's showing all the signs of hunger and not being content after breastfeeding, I feel like there is no other choice. However, coming to terms with it has been brutal. I'm still crying about it every day, although it is getting better. Knowing me, it'll probably bother me forever ha.

It bothers me that the first 2 weeks of her life have been so stressful for me, because I just want to enjoy this tiny, newborn stage. But instead it's been spent with me constantly stressing about feeding, pumping, and supplementing and I find myself looking forward to the days ahead when I know things will get better like everyone says. It's also been really hard trying to figure her out, and adjust to the new normal. Prior to having her, I very much enjoyed my "me time" and taking my sweet old time to do stuff, so I knew the adjustment would be hard, but I couldn't anticipate exactly how hard it would be. I know that we'll figure it out though, but again, I just wish it came easier and sooner so that I could enjoy this stage more. I know everyone says newborns are SO tough, but for some reason I thought I'd be able to deal with it super easily and it'd be nbd. Not so much!

So far we don't have much of a routine, but I'm anxious to start one. I think it'll really help me to have scheduled times for stuff so that I can have more structure to my day. I know she's still little though, so I'm ok with waiting it out a bit.

Like a few of you mentioned, I also REALLY miss pregnancy. I loved it so much, it was probably one of the happiest stages of my life so far. I felt great, I loved having her so close to me and kicking around, and knowing that she was getting everything she needed from me.

Sorry to be somewhat of a Debbie Downer. Thankfully I know this will all pass and get easier, but I wish I had been more open with my expectations, and I really wish I could be more breezy about everything. However, I also realize this is normal, because I've gone from 0 to 1 tiny humans to take care of which I have never done before! And I'm one that likes practice first before jumping into things 

But I know it's all worth it when I look at this perfect, healthy, little girl!

[narockshard]

Jul 11, 2014 10:35:55 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Those first 2 weeks... Wow. Am so glad those are over. I'm really starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of some things - going out on solo trips during the day no longer terrifies me and I feel like I'm learning what his likes/dislikes and preferences are.

The hardest part for me was accepting how much my life had changed. This sounds so cheesy, but while I knew conceptually that babies eat often and wake up in the middle of the night, until I was actually doing those things I didn't realize how draining (emotionally, mentally, and physically) they would be. Having this little person being totally dependent on you was a big moment for me. H and I have been married 7 years so we were set in our ways, which also made the transition hard.

My best tip is to try to get on a schedule land routine. I try to feed at 7, 10, 1, and 4. If he displays hunger cues in between I'll feed him but we try to stick to this schedule, give or take an hour. I think it helps g but has been really helpful for me so I know roughly when I'll have some downtime to nap, straighten up, shower, etc. we also follow the eat, wake time, nap time routine with each feeding schedule.

Next up to tackle is pumping. I had planned on starting today but forgot I needed to sterilize everything first. Oops.

Can't wait to hear how you all are doing! I miss the days of GoP sometimes, but remind myself this a fun new adventure that I know will only keep getting better.

It helps so much to read this. Logically, I know I'm not alone in the hardships of a newborn, but sometimes when I'm in the middle of being all emotional I feel really alone, so it helps to read about a very similar situation to mine.

[bowies]

Hugs narockshard. You are definitely not alone. I also have really struggled with BFing and having to supplement with formula. It was more emotionally draining than I could have anticipated. I felt like a giant fail at parenting.

I've also struggled with losing my autonomy. I really wanted to run out to the bookstore the other day and then I realized I really couldn't with DS still feeding on demand, no pumped milk yet, and he's too young to take with me. It's daunting to realize that life has forever changed. A good change, but change nonetheless. I'm terrified of taking him out in public by myself. Thank God I still have time to figure out the logistics - I'm a person that functions better with a plan.