"Black tie invited" wedding attire

[Susie]

We got a wedding invite this week that says "black tie invited" on the bottom.  My dress is a done deal since I am a bridesmaid - knee length chiffon.  Until now, I had not given much thought to what Calvin would wear, I just assumed any of the suits in his closet.  

It's a Sat evening wedding in Long Island.  Calvin doesn't care at all what he wears.  Left to his own devices he would just wear a suit because it requires no advance planning. 

What would you suggest your H wear - suit or rent a tux?

I am leaning toward suit, on logistics alone.  A tux rental would be a PITA since we are combining the wedding with a trip to visit my family - so unless we rented the tux THERE (wedding is 4+ hrs from home), picking up and returning a rental would be difficult.  Just want to make sure that would not be a bad call.

[ESF]

It's weird to me they want it to be black tie, but the bridesmaids are in knee length dresses, which I tend to think goes along with a less formal wedding.

I vote suit.

[mbcdefg]

I think a good-quality dark suit would be fine. Especially since your bridesmaid dress is knee-length.

I wouldn't ask MH (as a wedding guest, not a groomsman) to rent a tux unless it was a white-tie wedding. It's enough of a PITA to get him to wear a regular suit, lol.

[msmerymac]

Suit is fine.

ETA: I don't think I've ever seen a guest wear a tux to a wedding who is not the father of the bride or groom or in the wedding party. Granted, virtually all of the weddings I attend are more cocktail attire-ish, but I imagine there must have been some kind of "black tie optional" assholio request in there somewhere. I have not, however, ever been to a wedding on Long Island.

[shortstax]

If you're in knee-length chiffon, I think a suit would be fine.

[littlemermaid]

Black tie invited is the same as black tie optional so I would just have him wear a dark suit.

[jerseyjaybird]

Suit for sure. "Knee-length chiffon" + tux seems weird.

[mbcdefg]

Jul 11, 2014 11:15:28 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Suit is fine.

ETA: I don't think I've ever seen a guest wear a tux to a wedding who is not the father of the bride or groom or in the wedding party. Granted, virtually all of the weddings I attend are more cocktail attire-ish, but I imagine there must have been some kind of "black tie optional" assholio request in there somewhere. I have not, however, ever been to a wedding on Long Island.

I once attended a reception held in Oheka Castle on Long Island ($$$$$), and I didn't see anyone outside of the groomsmen and fathers of the bride/groom in tuxes.

[Susie]

Jul 11, 2014 11:15:28 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

Suit is fine.

ETA: I don't think I've ever seen a guest wear a tux to a wedding who is not the father of the bride or groom or in the wedding party. Granted, virtually all of the weddings I attend are more cocktail attire-ish, but I imagine there must have been some kind of "black tie optional" assholio request in there somewhere. I have not, however, ever been to a wedding on Long Island.

We actually went to a black tie wedding in CT a few years ago; it was one of my cousins'.  I can't remember what the verbiage was on the invite, but the whole extended family knew that black tie was what was more or less expected and would be most appropriate.  Calvin rented a tux for that one as a guest; so did my dad.  They would've looked out of place if they hadn't.  But it was kind of a pain (and yet another cost of attending the wedding).  

I was honestly caught a little by surprise with it on this wedding invite though.  When I knew our dresses were knee length, tuxes for guests didn't really cross my mind.

[lasagnasshole]

Suit.

Does he have a black suit? This seems like the right time for that.

[Deleted]

I've been to like a million "black tie optional" (or preferred) weddings on Long Island. Unless my husband is in the wedding party, he wears a dark suit. I wear a short but dark/fancyish dress. We've never been out of place. Typically a few random men will wear suits, and a few random women will wear gowns (and more will wear recycled long bridesmaid dresses) but the rest match us.

I think that "black tie invited" is NY suburb speak for "I want you to think that my wedding is fancy" and isn't necessarily an indication that the event warrants black tie attire.

[lime]

A suit is fine, since you are wearing a knee length dress.

[jerseyjaybird]

Jul 11, 2014 11:31:33 GMT -5 v said:

I think that "black tie invited" is NY suburb speak for "I want you to think that my wedding is fancy" and isn't necessarily an indication that the event warrants black tie attire.

:Y:

A recent invitation specified "formal attire"; the website was later edited to read "formal attire---by which we mean less formal than black-tie." I felt like any mention of dress code was an attempt to establish a certain level of "fancy," but I just found it confusing.

[shoeaholic]

Depends sometimes on the venue but yes he will be fine in a suit but dark is best. I find it odd that it is black tie invited but your dress is short. My wedding was black tie invited in NYC not because we tried to say "we're fancy" but because the venue and elements were a formal affair. 90% of women wore gowns but probably 70% of men in tuxes. Suits looked just as nice. The "'invited" part is to basically say preferred but not required. If the invite just says 'black tie' then that's more than just a suggestion.

[Susie]

This venue is beachy, so that further suggests to me that a tux is not really necessary.

TY for the interpretation on "NY-suburb speak," lol.

Calvin has an entire work wardrobe of dark suits. We've got this

[shoeaholic]

Jul 11, 2014 11:48:27 GMT -5 Susie said:

TY for the interpretation on "NY-suburb speak," lol.

Calvin has an entire work wardrobe of dark suits. We've got this

Yes, they are going for "Hamptons Fancy" LOL. He'll be fine.

[Deleted]

I vote suit.

I know someone who put "black tie" on their invitation just so the relatives of the groom didn't show up in jeans and flannel shirts!

[Deleted]

shoeaholic -- you may want to edit to take out the part you weren't supposed to quote

[cosmos]

my wedding was black tie invited and suits were fine. My parents wanted the language to let their friends know it was fancy. My girls did have long BM dresses though, since it was a winter wedding.

[megstoo]

We just went to a black tie wedding last month and the guys were in tux's (not just the bridal party but all guests were too). DH wasn't happy about having to rent a tux but he looked great.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2014 14:43:07 GMT -5 megstoo said:

We just went to a black tie wedding last month and the guys were in tux's (not just the bridal party but all guests were too). DH wasn't happy about having to rent a tux but he looked great.

Well, if it is just plain "black tie" (not optional/preferred/requested), a tux is what you wear so that's no surprise.

Here, though, he's just been "invited" to wear a tux. He isn't required to.

[cheezer]

Sometimes you need to read between the lines for black tie (and other dress codes). Someone I know had that on her wedding invitation and it was not fancy at all. They were actually on quite a budget.

And as others have said, short BM dresses means no tux to me.

[Deleted]

Suit