S/O: How important is it to like your coworkers?

[noodleoo]

Or to feel like you "fit in" at work? Is it just a job/paycheck so it doesn't matter? Would you quit a job if you liked the work but didn't actually like your coworkers? Not hate them or have a crappy boss, just not really fit in to the culture or have anything in common with the people you see every day.

[wanderlustmom]

I had a job where I was friends with my coworkers and it was much better. Now, we are friendly but not friends and it's not ideal but I wouldn't quit a job over it.

[lime]

If I just didn't fit into the culture, I would not leave a job over that.

Hating coworkers or having a crappy boss would cause me to reevaluate the situation.

[mrs07]

I do think it's important, or at least important to respect and get along with them. It's a good part of your life, dealing with these people, so if you are getting dragged down by them you are going to pay for it some way in the end...picking up their bad habits, feeling bad about it, whatever.

[Deleted]

For me, it's important to get along and have a pleasant environment. I put up with a lot of bullshit in the super it of compromise and harmony.

This mostly comes into play in my work environment because CW and I spen 40 hours/week in a small workshop together. She is truly a wonderful person, but kinda a crappy CW.

[mbcdefg]

I've never had a close friend at a job. Except for one, but we mainly hung out because our boss was a huge, huge bitch who picked on the two of us all the time.

I'm friendly with my current coworkers, but we just make small talk once in a while. I don't go to lunch with them or anything. But a few young women who sit near me are buddies and are ALWAYS talking, to the point where others have commented on how unprofessional and annoying it is.

I'd rather just go in and get my work done and go home. I have my own friends.

ETA: I would look for a new job if my coworkers were flat-out mean to me. But I've happily stayed at several jobs where the only issue was that I was ignored. As long as I'm satisfied with the work and paycheck, and nobody's nasty to me, I'm happy.

[ECB]

I was just talking about this today. What I really miss about my old job was the social aspect. Just having pepole Ilike working with, chatting with, and maybe doing lunch with. ANd if friendship grows out of that- great. But I really miss that.

WHere I'm now - 7 years now - I like the people fine, but there is just NO "social" aspect to it at all. I hate it.

But. My job has great flexibility which is what keeps me there. I'd love to fine a new job w/ people who I enjoy being around.

[delawarejen]

I only have 2 friends at work, and while it's better than when I had no friends, it's still not that great. (One of them is just a work buddy because he's a married guy and my dad's age, the other is a friend outside of work as well). It makes me much more likely to leave for another job. It sucks eating lunch by myself almost all the time. I just don't fit in, and I never will. It was one thing when the turnover rate was high and people left all the time, but I'm stuck with some of these people for another 30+ years and I'm losing my mind.

[sarapocalypse]

It's important to get along with my coworkers but I've never been close friends with anyone at work. As long as it's a pleasant environment, I don't really need to have friends at work.

[spunkarella]

Being friendly and having a pleasant environment is important. I couldn't handle a toxic, negative workplace.

Having coworkers that are/could be close friends is really nice, but not necessary.

[Dusky]

I'd be alright not fitting in with the culture if I loved everything else, but it would certainly be a factor I considered when judging other opportunities. Actively disliking my coworkers would be more significant.

[sillygoosegirl]

I think it's very important. I mean, I wouldn't take a job that I thought I'd otherwise hate to have coworkers I liked, but if I couldn't be friendly with my coworkers, I'd be looking for another position.

Sometimes a job is just a paycheck, that's just a fact of life, but it can be much more, and I think it's well worth striving to find/get/keep a job that is. You spend a lot of your life at work, it seems better to enjoy it in as many ways as possible.

Also, I think people who get along achieve more together than people who don't. Because they don't want to let one another down but holding up a project. Because they want to see one another succeed and will support that on parts of a project where they'd never be blamed for a failure anyway. Because they're more likely to communicate than avoid one another. Etc.

[VillainV]

Being in a pleasant and supportive work environment and getting along with my boss are pretty important to me. I don't need my coworkers to be my best friends (though some of them are), and I don't need to feel like I fit in completely, but I need it to be friendly and non-hostile.

[Deleted]

I get really frustrated when my coworkers are bad at their jobs. It impacts everyone and I have no patience for that shit. Having friends at work is nice but it's not necessary for me. As long as everyone works well together, I'm happy enough. I've never not fit in at work. I've had varying levels of friendships.

[noodleoo]

I'm learning so much about myself at my new job (and with the last job I had as well). My last job, I got along really well with my coworkers. I cared about them, I felt like part of the team and I really wanted to work hard to help the team succeed. However, the work itself was a terrible fit and I left very quickly.

My current job, I actually do like the work and I know I can be really good at it. However, the workload is overwhelming and I do not fit in with the culture. More than that, I have realized I don't really like any of the people on my team. I don't dislike them, we're pleasant and all, but I don't fit in. I like people on other teams, but I don't interact with them as much. It is a really social environment, and I feel very alone. Which makes me sad. It is also very cliquey and gossipy. Oh well, I just need to focus on doing my work and try not to be so sensitive. It just sucks, I wish I could find a job where I actually liked the work and felt like I fit in at the same time.

[hbomdiggity]

It's very important to me. I spend a significant amount of time at work and I want that time to be spent with people I like.

[Deleted]

I don't have any good work buddies now, but I like everyone. Even the people who are different than me.

I've worked in some places where people were really different, but I could always find common ground.

My first job out of college was obnoxious at first because literally all my coworkers would talk about was their kids/grandkids. It was so weird. I was 22 and very single.

The worst two offenders left then it was normal--sometimes kids, sometimes the news, movies, hobbies--whatever. Normal variety of things.

[jena]

I would not quit my job over not fitting in with coworkers. I don't know if I would stay there for decades with people I don't really like, but if my job were otherwise fine I would stay there until something else came up.

For the long term, I don't need them to be my best friends, but I need to be able to be friendly with them, be able to have lunch together, chat at the coffee bar in the morning, etc.

[Deleted]

Jul 13, 2014 21:45:48 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

I get really frustrated when my coworkers are bad at their jobs. It impacts everyone and I have no patience for that shit. Having friends at work is nice but it's not necessary for me. As long as everyone works well together, I'm happy enough. I've never not fit in at work. I've had varying levels of friendships.

I agree. Whenever I've disliked a coworker, it was mainly because of his/her job performance.

[Deleted]

Hmm... it isn't something I'd quit over, but having awesome coworkers has really kept me sane while dealing with godawful jobs (godawful because of the not awesome bosses). Most of my closest friends are people I worked with at some point. I'd be sad if I didn't have that.

But if you're otherwise happy with your job, I'd have trouble leaving for that reason alone.

[casarosada]

I think it'd be nice to be friends with coworkers but as long as we're work friendly, I'm okay with it. I recently changed positions in my company and went from working mainly with a woman I loved working with to a woman I'd rather not have to work with. It's a bummer but my new position is full time (my old wasn't) so I am going to stick it out and hope that maybe she moves positions/leaves the job and I can get someone better to work with. :-)

[Deleted]

I genuinely like 95% of my coworkers and some I really trust as good friends (outside of reporting lines, largely though I am pretty close with my boss.). It is a huge reason why I stay here and its something I tout quite actively when recruiting. I spend more time with coworkers than my real family and my H at times, so that is huge.

When we interview people, one of the things we talk about is the airport test (internally ) - it is our shorthand for whether you'd enjoy passing several hours at the airport with them if delayed / stuck. We have declined candidates that are good on paper and interviewed decently well, but did not pass the airport test.

[pamela]

It is very important to me that I like, or can at least get along pleasantly with, my coworkers. That doesn't mean friends with them. Actually being friends can get tricky. My best friend and I met working in the same group and it can get sticky if something negative comes up at work.

I don't know how successful I'd be in my current position if my coworkers didn't like me. My job involves telling a lot of people what they are doing wrong (reviewing lesson plans, instructor evaluations, etc)and convincing people to do what I want/need them to do. It has the potential to be miserable.

[gt7301b]

I am not friends with any of the folks in my current office. The majority of my co-workers are just in different places in their lives and we have very little in common. I eat lunch with then ~ once a week, but don't hang out with them outside of work.

I am good friends with a handful of people at out main office and talk with then over messenger during the day. If I didn't have this group to talk to it would be a much less pleasant environment.

[aurora]

I get along just fine with my coworkers and that's important to me, but beyond lunches and the occasional happy hour I don't see most of them outside of the office, which is also fine.

[RoxMonster]

It is not super important to me. I have a group of 4 or 5 co-workers I am close to and enjoy talking with even outside of work (out of a faculty of about 60 people). I spend 99% of my day interacting with my students, not my co-workers, so I don't think the rapport with CWers is as imperative as it might be in other fields where you work closely with them most of the time. Having said that, I don't want to feel like an outsider at work either (which I don't).

If I loved the work and disliked my co-workers, I would probably keep the job. Depends how poor my relationship was with the CWers I guess.

[cjeanette]

Not liking my co-workers was a contributing factor in leaving my last job. It wasn't the end all be all but it matters.

[msmerymac]

Having a team that likes each other and enjoys seeing each other is a REALLY big benefit. Some companies really prioritize getting people who are the right fit for the company culture. (Granted, the downside of this is possibly less diversity.)

However, if the flip side is just having much in common or feeling that you really love your coworkers, I can't say that would make me hate a job. It's kind of like indifference being the opposite of love in this situation. Great social fit = yay! Not great social fit = meh. Horrible boss and coworkers who consistently stab you in the back = boo!

FWIW, I don't tend to mine friends from work relationships, as I have experiences which have led me to want to keep those areas of my life separate. But I do get along very well with my coworkers and our current company president has really crafted an environment where everyone works well together, by finding talent that's just a great fit for the company. I like it.