No one is bummed they can't find a unicorn

[llh0211]

I totally understand. And this seems so fitting.

[starburst604]

Nah. Just because you haven't met one yet doesn't mean that you won't.

[Deleted]

I feel ya! I've pretty much just given up. Romance isn't in the cards for me. But hey they rest of my life is pretty awesome. So I figure it is what it is.

[gault]

Maybe you're not a priority because you're not exclusive and you're dating other people. Not "you", but both of you.

If I were dating a bunch of people at the moment, I wouldn't make one a priority over other things in my life. It doesn't make sense.

[mel]

Right there with you! Totally get it.

[wrathofkuus]

I see what suesue is saying. Hard to meet the right guy with this obviously wrong one hanging around, no?

[Mrs.Rad888]

Ladies, don't give up! You all have so much life left to live. Not that there's anything wrong with being single, but I understand wanting someone there. DH and I met when I was 34 and divorcing XH. It wasn't the right time for us, and after 1 1/2 years we broke up. We were completely out of each other's lives for 5 years, when we just happened to run into each other randomly. 
I had pretty much given up on being in a committed relationship ever again, and had come to terms with it. I tried to, but didn't do any dating for almost 3 years before running into (now) DH.

So, I'm just trying to say that you never know what's going to happen. Just remember that you deserve someone who treats you like you want to be treated, and don't have to settle for less.

[Deleted]

Mrs.Rad888 you know being able to just accept it has really allowed me to fully enjoy my life. I would really like to date someone but I'd also really like to win the lottery. Ha! Since giving up on dating I've really been able to enjoy a life not involved in the ups and downs of dating. If I met someone randomly I wouldn't turn it down but I'm not actively pursuing it.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Jul 20, 2014 23:15:57 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Mrs.Rad888 you know being able to just accept it has really allowed me to fully enjoy my life. I would really like to date someone but I'd also really like to win the lottery. Ha! Since giving up on dating I've really been able to enjoy a life not involved in the ups and downs of dating. If I met someone randomly I wouldn't turn it down but I'm not actively pursuing it.

I hope I didn't sound too puppies-and-rainbows. I was at that point too, and there were times I missed being a part of a couple. Especially when I'd see others in couples and wonder what she had that I didn't. Of course, that's self-defeating thinking, but there were times it was lonely.

[Deleted]

Mrs.Rad888 no not at all. I'm just saying I'm pretty sure it's just not in the cards for me and that's totally cool. Not everyone meets a life partner. I used to feel like there is something wrong with me, but now I've realized there isn't it's just the way it is. I really only miss being part of a couple as all of my friends find a person and then relationships change and I don't have anyone to hang out with me on a Saturday night. Ha!

[Deleted]

I cried about this very thing in the car this morning. And now I'm feeling all weepy thinking about it. PMS, is that you?

[wrathofkuus]

Jul 21, 2014 7:27:39 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Jul 20, 2014 21:11:47 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

I see what suesue is saying. Hard to meet the right guy with this obviously wrong one hanging around, no?

I would agree if I was completely focused on ginger and excluding other men or dating. I haven't seen g in a week and probably won't see him again for another week. I don't think he's taking up space Mr. Right would otherwise occupy. He's a good guy and we have a great, honest relationship even if I don't want to marry him. It's like saying if someone can't be my BFF I shouldn't keep them as a friend.

I just get the impression that Ginger is taking up more of your infatuation-space than is prudent, blocking out anyone else despite you going on dates.

[Deleted]

IMO, spending time, energy, effort on ANY guy that you know isn't the right one, is a waste and will hold you back from finding someone better. To keep someone around like that is settling and/or using him as a back-up companion because you're lonely. I think it's better to make a clean slate and start fresh. If you're hoping for a long-term commitment, then don't keep people around who aren't in line with that goal. Once you know someone isn't right for you, any thought spent on them thereafter isn't worth it. I consider it self-delusion to think that it doesn't hold you back. It does. If you're meeting someone who has the potential to be special, I would think it better to have a clear head going in.

[Wanderista]

I really think this is a case where people should do what works for them. I also understand wanting to vent about it. It can really seem unlikely sometimes but I do think that it is good to stay open to the possibility that there is someone out there for you. It is true that outcomes can vary so much and that is part of the risk. I think it comes down to a personal decision based on what you want.

Also, it's ok to be infatuated sometimes. It is good to feel the feelings as long as you don't silence your judgment (which generally strengthens with more experience anyway) and as long as you can handle the idea that life and people are unpredictable sometimes. Basically, be prepared to roll with the punches. It is hard to say too much because so much is personal and a lot of advice can sound like truisms. I'd just say that you should stay open to it if you want it to happen but yeah, vent when you need to. If you are finding ways to stay happy and enjoy yourself then more power to you.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Jul 21, 2014 12:29:34 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Jul 21, 2014 12:12:10 GMT -5 @moonbeam said:

IMO, spending time, energy, effort on ANY guy that you know isn't the right one, is a waste and will hold you back from finding someone better. To keep someone around like that is settling and/or using him as a back-up companion because you're lonely. I think it's better to make a clean slate and start fresh. If you're hoping for a long-term commitment, then don't keep people around who aren't in line with that goal. Once you know someone isn't right for you, any thought spent on them thereafter isn't worth it. I consider it self-delusion to think that it doesn't hold you back. It does. If you're meeting someone who has the potential to be special, I would think it better to have a clear head going in.

I think this is silly. I don't have a major life goal to get re-married. I am living my life as it is and enjoying what I do have instead of focusing my efforts on what I don't have. If I am honest with the people that I date, why should I solely spend time only with those I think will be THE ONE? As I've said I don't actually believe T1 exists. I enjoying meeting people, having dinner, going to shows, having drinks, fucking...etc. Why should I stop doing all of those things in the hunt for a mythical creature?


Maybe what differs is that I don't see finding a LTR to be a goal in my life. More like, it would be great if it happened. I'd love to win the lottery also, it doesn't mean I make it a life goal. 

Agree, St. Pete.  There's never a guarantee that you'll meet some amazing, perfect guy (that's true for all of us) and I think you should spend time with people who make you happy, not wipe your slate clean just in case some guy comes along.  I don't really see you being super consumed with the relationship with Ginger, and I see you dating around anyway.