What a sucky situation - I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
To answer your question, I wouldn't go. I would consider it maybe if there was only one major hurdle, but since there are at least 3 (nap time conflict, distance, missing billable hours time), I would find a reason that I couldnt go.
ETA: I'm very anti these mandatory but not-mandatory work events on weekdays. Fuck you I'm not giving up my precious off time to socialize with people I see 40+ hours a week.
Post by scribellesam on Jul 22, 2014 8:38:49 GMT -5
Yuck reading about your job situation always makes me feel so angry for you. I doubt going to this thing will improve the partner's feelings for you; they seem determined to treat your job position like a disrespected indentured servant.
I would probably skip or at most, go alone. But I'm a SAHM and rarely did more than the minimum when I was a working attorney so take that for what it's worth.
I am not a lawyer, but there is no way in hell I would even attempt to go to this thing. Clearly networking is not going to help you. It doesn't sound like it would help your DH. It makes more work for you on that day and in making up the time. Really, I see no pros and all cons.
And I finally had the (idea) moment everyone else had a couple of days ago about you. I'm glad you're here
How hard are you going to have to work next week to make up the hours you could have billed instead of going to this party? That would irk me. They want you to bill more, but now they are asking you pretty much not to work one day. Will anyone be in the office?
If you are not trying to build relationships for future advancement at this firm but rather just doing your work from 9-5 while you continue to look for another job don't go.
If you are trying to build up relationships and want to try and grow at this firm then I would go for the pure networking aspect and "showing your face".
From what you have posted it doesn't really seem like #2 is what you are after so don't go.
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
How much do you care if you lose this job? That's all I think that matters.
I care a lot, because being unemployed would mean taking DD out of a daycare that we love very much, but I don't equate not going with not having a job come Monday. From what I'm told, they are very happy with my work product.
I would say I was coming and then cancel at the last minute because I had a stomach bug. I would then talk about how sad I was to miss it. All the while the hoping to find a new job.
I would not go, that's so shitty of them to offer a "fun day" but not give you PTO to participate.
I would look for a new job, starting with the jobs you turned down 6 months ago. I would say you're not happy with the firm you chose, and regret not giving their firm a better shot. Good luck ! What a shitty situation, your current employers are douchecanoes.
And LOL that my phone recognizes douchecanoe as a word.
Post by dancingirl21 on Jul 22, 2014 9:10:20 GMT -5
I really get not wanting to go. But if the job is important to you and you would be the only one not going, I might try to suck it up. Things like this shouldn't make or break you, but unfortunately many times perception of being a team player wins out over great work, as sad as that is.
Could you just go alone and drives so you can leave early, using the wedding weekend as your excuse?
How much do you care if you lose this job? That's all I think that matters.
I care a lot, because being unemployed would mean taking DD out of a daycare that we love very much, but I don't equate not going with not having a job come Monday. From what I'm told, they are very happy with my work product.
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
As for the car drive--team iPad
I would do this. Bring her, maybe leave a littler later than 9:30 so she might sleep in the car or lots if toys or the iPad. Then leave around 7 " oh man, kiddo really needs to go to bed, I'll be taking off now. See you all Monday!"
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
As for the car drive--team iPad
Oh, I am not above the ipad, lol, but it only lasts approx 3 minutes before she presses a button or touches the screen or does something else that makes Elmo go away. And, the parts of Elmo's world without Elmo...screamfest and throwing ipad time.
One of my issues with taking her is also that we would have to leave right around dinner time. Her bed time is 8, but she starts to get melty around 7. I assume other people with kids are not taking the bus. There's no effing way that would work.
I'm still team hellllls no, don't go, but you should set guided access on your iPad. LIFE CHANGING. They can't press buttons!
And let me just say that I appreciate everyone's well-reasoned responses.
Well, my gif response was not well-reasoned, but the full magnitude of how much they're dicking you over is just beyond my comprehension. How could they make a family event so unfamily friendly? Why would they have it three hours away? How do they expect families to come on a bus with no carseats? What do they expect everyone to do with their kids at fucking midnight? How do they not get that you have to make up 8.5 hours by missing time with family in order to go to this shit?
I was just about to respond, but @this just summed up my feelings nicely. These people suck. Sorry you are stuck in this situation
Post by dulcemariamar on Jul 22, 2014 9:36:52 GMT -5
Say that you are going. And on the day that you have to go, say that you have to go pick up your LO from DC because the teachers think that your LO is coming down with the stomach bug. People wouldnt want you to go if they had the chance of catching a stomach bug.
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
As for the car drive--team iPad
This is where I am. I thought the 12:30 am arrival time back to the office was a typo. People are bringing their children to this? That seems weird and not well thought out. It seems like it creates a huge conflict on many levels for you but I would also hate to be the only person not to attend. That happened at a small non-profit where I worked before and the person that didn't attend a company retreat was very out of the loop for a while. What a shitty situation to be in.
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
As for the car drive--team iPad
Oh, I am not above the ipad, lol, but it only lasts approx 3 minutes before she presses a button or touches the screen or does something else that makes Elmo go away. And, the parts of Elmo's world without Elmo...screamfest and throwing ipad time.
One of my issues with taking her is also that we would have to leave right around dinner time. Her bed time is 8, but she starts to get melty around 7. I assume other people with kids are not taking the bus. There's no effing way that would work.
I don't have the brain capacity to write out an articulate response other than fuck them.