I would go too. They might say it's optional, but we all know it's really not.
And yes, your situation sucks. You're allowed to say that and don't feel bad about it! I hope someday soon the perfect job lands in your lap and you can say Sayonara SUCKERS to them!! Because I hate that they treat you like crap
Post by oceanstbride on Jul 22, 2014 10:14:28 GMT -5
Ugh. What does your gut say to do? Go? Not go?
If your gut says you should be there, drive yourself and leave DD at home in daycare. The driving sucks, but may be a nice mental break to sing loudly to the radio alone (minus traffic). Stay from 12 to 3:30/4 or even a little bit later if your H can do daycare pick up.
If you decide not to go, I may just say you thought about it further and since you have plans on Sat. you have some work you wanted to do and/or you have to do pick up from daycare.
Can you drive out there on your own, and leave after dinner? I mean, you'll have a not-even-2-year-old with you. Do people really expect you to keep her out until 1:30 am? I think that's a pretty good built-in excuse.
As for the car drive--team iPad
Oh, I am not above the ipad, lol, but it only lasts approx 3 minutes before she presses a button or touches the screen or does something else that makes Elmo go away. And, the parts of Elmo's world without Elmo...screamfest and throwing ipad time.
One of my issues with taking her is also that we would have to leave right around dinner time. Her bed time is 8, but she starts to get melty around 7. I assume other people with kids are not taking the bus. There's no effing way that would work.
I hear you on the iPad part, DD knows where the home button is and if she pushes it, I have to pull over to restart the cartoon.
Honestly, I would fake a child sickness on Thursday and say you can't go on Friday now and need to work from home on Friday (since you can do this anyway). That way you plan on going but shit, now you can't. You can't control when a child gets sick.
Ugh, I feel awful for you. Billing 2000 hours for crappy pay would not sit well with me at all.
I would not bother with this event unless it is going to do something to help your career. And given how the firm has treated you, that strikes me as unlikely.
I would definitely pursue other jobs, but I know that is easier said than done.
Legitimate question: Is there a rehearsal dinner or something on Friday for this Saturday Catholic wedding?
This situation makes me ragey on your behalf. The bait and switch shows they don't give a rat's ass about advancing you or your cohorts. If you knew you could leave this place in three or six months, would you bother going to the outing? If I had to go I'd think about getting a hotel and leaving shortly after dinner so I could get the kid down.
Have you been looking for work this whole time or did you take a break? If you took a break, maybe there's something new out there....? Wishful thinking for you. :/
I can't believe the balls on these assholes, to tell you to stop job hunting while lying to you and treating you like shit. I hope you get to leave at 8 or 9 months.
Honestly, with what you say about having a JD, I don't get your hesitation on leaving practicing. I think you need to figure out what you really want and focus your efforts.
I worry that if I leave practice I won't be able to get back in. I actually like practicing law, but I don't have a whole lot of options in my practice area, and you see what happened to me when I tried to switch. Shit central.
Since I make less than the paralegals in my office now and would never be considered for such a job, I do feel that having a JD has literally narrowed my options. Part of the reason I would like to leave practice is maybe to be able to build myself up in another career and one day make a good living, instead of the continual backslide I've been experiencing. Does that make sense?
What other types of law jobs would be a good fit with your background? Are you well-positioned for government attorney jobs? In house jobs? Is your practice area something that you could potentially make a living at by going out on your own? How likely are you to find another, better firm job?
Working associate hours for less than paralegal pay is utter bullshit. I would not hold out a lot of hope for being handed an associate position at your firm given their awful treatment thus far and the fact that they have already come down on you for not making hours. If practicing law elsewhere under better circumstances at some point in the not so distant future is a realistic option, then I can see toughing it out. But if the job market in your area makes that unlikely for you, I would be realistic about that and start building a non-legal career. There is no point in you wasting more time than is necessary in a miserable dead-end job.
I don't know what practice area you are in, but is there a corresponding area in the corporate world? I left practicing law- but not really, since I'm in corporate compliance in my former practice area. Corporate is the way to go if you can get in.
I'm still team hellllls no, don't go, but you should set guided access on your iPad. LIFE CHANGING. They can't press buttons!
Wait, my guided access doesn't seem to disable the home button?? This could be a big break for us if you can indeed disable it!
If you set a password for your lock screen, she'd have to click the home button three times and input your password in order to exit guided access. Lots of steps for a toddler. My kid can get the three click, but can't input the password...yet. It's seriously been lifechanging.
What other types of law jobs would be a good fit with your background? Are you well-positioned for government attorney jobs? In house jobs? Is your practice area something that you could potentially make a living at by going out on your own? How likely are you to find another, better firm job?
Working associate hours for less than paralegal pay is utter bullshit. I would not hold out a lot of hope for being handed an associate position at your firm given their awful treatment thus far and the fact that they have already come down on you for not making hours. If practicing law elsewhere under better circumstances at some point in the not so distant future is a realistic option, then I can see toughing it out. But if the job market in your area makes that unlikely for you, I would be realistic about that and start building a non-legal career. There is no point in you wasting more time than is necessary in a miserable dead-end job.
All right, less wine and a BEC in my belly. Much better.
The problem with my practice area is that there are almost zero gov't or in-house jobs. All my experience in in complex Chapter 11 cases, and so I'm also not well-positioned to hang out my own shingle. No one is hiring a solo to handle their corporate restructuring. What I might wind up doing is trying to find some small shop that does individual bankruptcies and maybe I can learn there. I am unlikely to find another, better form job, unless bankruptcy becomes hot again, in which case I'll either be in high demand or firms will pass on me for juniors with 3-5 years' experience who they can mold. It's hard to predict. One of the reasons I took this job is that the name is good (it's all big firm refugees looking to build the next Quinn) and would avoid a resume gap that is the scarlet A of a laid-off lawyer. I wanted to keep my options open, but I'm realizing maybe that was a fail.
I definitely do not want to be an associate at my current firm. The associates all bill 2400-2500 hours a year, constantly working weekends and late nights. That's just not something I want to do with a child. As far as letting goooooo (cue Frozen) of practicing, it sounds really attractive, until I think of the days when I ran my own cases, had lots of client contact, and negotiated with adverse counsel on the regular. Those were good days, even when they were long. I felt capable and confident. I haven't been that person in a long time. But then I think about how I could likely make more $$ in a nonlegal career, and maybe I could finally be free of the tyranny of the billable hour and being a client's or partner's bitch, and that sounds really good, too. Sigh. But your point about staying in a miserable dead-end job is well-taken.
I know this is totally out of the realm of your practice area because your practice area is truly the niche of all niches, but have you thought about government relations work? Some form of legislative work either federal, state or private practice. You have a skill set that could be really useful.
Hope no one minds if I page to see if she has any thoughts on leaving/reentering practice.
But also what does your H think?
About me leaving practice? He thinks I will miss it, but he's open to me trying something that might pay better than my position now. As far as the outing, he thinks I should suck it up.
Oh I meant the outing. Boo.
Also can you edit out the other SN I paged? Thanks
Hope no one minds if I page to see if she has any thoughts on leaving/reentering practice.
But also what does your H think?
About me leaving practice? He thinks I will miss it, but he's open to me trying something that might pay better than my position now. As far as the outing, he thinks I should suck it up.
But that's coming from a POV where it matters because there is a chance to move up. Here there is none, right?
Here's what I really think - I think the partners really could care less if you're there. They do it because it seems nice and outwardly looks good. But really, they care about the bottom line. I get that it's important to be a team player and that sometimes these events are important. But the firm has made clear where your place is. Which is super shitty and super shortsighted (because you actually want to retain your good people). I really think you are better off declining and just working. I wouldn't feign illness because if anyone cares to, they can look back after the fact and see that you billed that day. I would just politely decline and smile through it and go about your daily work like any other day. And then get the F out as soon as possible
I agree completely with this. I was in a similar situation about 5 years ago. All the associates politely declined a "party" after being told our salaries were being cut X percent across the board regardless of job performance. Here's a thought, don't throw a party after cutting your associates salaries.
Five of us left for better jobs within 10 months of each other. Good luck, I know you will find a place where you will be valued soon.
All right, less wine and a BEC in my belly. Much better.
The problem with my practice area is that there are almost zero gov't or in-house jobs. All my experience in in complex Chapter 11 cases, and so I'm also not well-positioned to hang out my own shingle. No one is hiring a solo to handle their corporate restructuring. What I might wind up doing is trying to find some small shop that does individual bankruptcies and maybe I can learn there. I am unlikely to find another, better form job, unless bankruptcy becomes hot again, in which case I'll either be in high demand or firms will pass on me for juniors with 3-5 years' experience who they can mold. It's hard to predict. One of the reasons I took this job is that the name is good (it's all big firm refugees looking to build the next Quinn) and would avoid a resume gap that is the scarlet A of a laid-off lawyer. I wanted to keep my options open, but I'm realizing maybe that was a fail.
I definitely do not want to be an associate at my current firm. The associates all bill 2400-2500 hours a year, constantly working weekends and late nights. That's just not something I want to do with a child. As far as letting goooooo (cue Frozen) of practicing, it sounds really attractive, until I think of the days when I ran my own cases, had lots of client contact, and negotiated with adverse counsel on the regular. Those were good days, even when they were long. I felt capable and confident. I haven't been that person in a long time. But then I think about how I could likely make more $$ in a nonlegal career, and maybe I could finally be free of the tyranny of the billable hour and being a client's or partner's bitch, and that sounds really good, too. Sigh. But your point about staying in a miserable dead-end job is well-taken.
I know this is totally out of the realm of your practice area because your practice area is truly the niche of all niches, but have you thought about government relations work? Some form of legislative work either federal, state or private practice. You have a skill set that could be really useful.
I like the government relations idea. That could be interesting and profitable if you can find something. What about permanent clerk or staff attorney positions at the bankruptcy court? Any chance of a position like that opening? I would also not hesitate to apply for in house positions, even though they won't be bankruptcy specific.
This sucks for you. I am so sorry. Law really can be the worst.
I'm not sure what your practice area is so I can't really help on that front. I am sure you've already gotten this taken care of since you've been looking for a while, but your contacts know you're looking, right? I got into practice after not working for a while because one of my old drinking buddies in Switzerland needed to hire someone part time where I'm living now. They never advertised the position.