I like my MIL and FIL a lot. They are easy to talk to most of the time and are very helpful and accommodating with us. My MIL has some odd ideas, but I think that's just due to her age/generation. We see them every two weeks or so, sometimes more often.
My GMIL and aunts-in-law are a different story. They are really opinionated and say rude things to just about everybody, so I try to avoid spending time with them, as they can go for the jugular.
Overall, I think I got lucky in the in-law department, especially after reading some of the horror stories on ML!
My MIL and FIL are alright, my H definitely got the longer end of the stick for his in-laws lol But they are really nice people and I feel mean well. My MIL can be a little manipulating or construe my/our words differently but that's about it. My SIL is odd, I don't think we will ever be close, which makes me sad, but oh well!
I definitely could have it worse too. So I'm thankful overall!
I used to absolutely LOVE my MIL and think she was precious. This year came about and I really started to sort of figure some things out. Who I'm seeing her to be now makes me really sad. I do have a neat story though....she made the aisle runner for my parents vow renewal ceremony. It's really beautiful. She and I worked on it for over 10 hours and it was a huge hit at the ceremony.
My FIL was sent on a time machine from the 1950's and planted here on a science experiment. He's also cantankerous and redneck...which is surprising seeing as how they live in Pennsylvania.
They also didn't make a big deal about birthdays. Every year I struggle with what to do for DH because of it.
My BIL is pretty cool. I like him overall. My two SIL's are bizarre. One is a complete hot mess....and the other is a hot mess in a different way. I always make sure I'm very friendly.....regardless of how I think of them in my head.
Well, my MIL proposed that I give birth in their basement and live there for the baby's first month so that my FIL would be able to do the delivery (he's a Dr). LOL. My FIL did not agree with this idea, thankfully.
@mrsmb My In laws too. No birthday celebrations or compliments when doing a good job, going to events to be supportive... I feel bad for my H sometimes that he didn't grow up with super awesome parents... I'm sorry you have to rack your brain too for B-Day Ideas.. That's a really neat story with her!
I have only met my older BIL once at our wedding... He's kind of a selfish jerk from what I'm told but I still want to get to know him... I doubt I ever will. But I can hope. My younger BIL is cool, but he's still pretty young, I doubt we will ever be close because of the age difference.!
Well, my MIL proposed that I give birth in their basement and live there for the baby's first month so that my FIL would be able to do the delivery (he's a Dr). LOL. My FIL did not agree with this idea, thankfully.
travelbug It sounds like our IL's might be similar in another way too. His Dad NEVER NEVER NEVER went to his baseball games. Oh, it makes me cry! His Uncle was very supportive in place of his Dad. He still is. I consider him a FIl more than DH's actual FIL. His Uncle would go support him when he Dad didn't.
That's so so sad that your H had to go through that too @mrsmb I'm really glad he had a phenomenal uncle who took on that role! I just can never understand how parents wouldn't want to always be there for their kids. It blows my mind!
Post by anyastroud on Jul 22, 2014 11:55:33 GMT -5
Oh I Will Win this one
2 days after DD#1 was born DH's stepmother called me a whore and my kid a bastard we cool now (6years later) But we didn't talk to his family for like the first 6 months until they apologized. I was still PISSED like a year and half after that. I would let dh take DD over there but I would not go. or if they came over I would be conveniently shopping or out on a walk.
anyastroud OH MY GOSH! That is absolutely horrible. You definitely WIN! Wow. I'm so impressed you speak now. I don't know how I wouldn't keep a grudge!
When FIL passed away, the family dynamic has changed (mil is technically DH's step mom, who his dad married after his mom passed away when he was a kid). I have no doubt that MIL loves dh dearly, but we fall through the cracks a lot because we don't live there (like DH's sister and her kids do) or have grandkids to offer. I hear about a lot of family dinners/events after the fact. It's weird.
SIL is not interested in being an adult--the majority of parenting/disciplining the kids falls on MIL's shoulders, and SIL will not get a job because she is the "SAHM of the family" (and has bugged us about having kids so she can continue being a SAHM), and is "practically disabled because she has MS." MIL, who is supporting her along with her two kids, is not pushing her to get a job or move out--the last time she and FIL did this, oops! I'm pregnant!
She's a nice person, just not interested in being responsible for anything.
anyastroud OH MY GOSH! That is absolutely horrible. You definitely WIN! Wow. I'm so impressed you speak now. I don't know how I wouldn't keep a grudge!
yeah it was pretty bad considering DH is DD's Father. The woman is nuts really She wanted DH to get her a mothers day card or do something special for her. The woman doesn't even have kids of her own and this was DH's senior year in HS he was already grown(18yso) when she came in to the picture, in no way shape of form did DH think of her as a mother. It still pisses me off when I think about it but oh well, I just try not to.
I love my inlaws! I've known them since I was 6, so I've always been comfortable with them. BIL and I "dated" via email when we were 13, so that made things a bit awkward at the very beginning. Now he and I get along great, though. MIL is so different from my own mom that sometimes I'm caught off guard by things she says, but rarely in a bad way. FIL is so weird and hilarious, and he and I are probably the most similar. MIL and BIL and H are pretty non emotional, and FIL and I are, so sometimes we just look at each other like "clearly we are the only humans with feelings here" lol. They just came over this morning and mowed our lawn and vacuumed the living room.
I love my ILs. They are great. They also live in Florida, we live in NY, so we don't get to see them very often. We only had a little conflict during my wedding shower between MIL and my MOH which I wasn't a part of but had to deal with the wrath from both sides.
We always have a great time with SIL and BIL when we do things together. DH and SIL are close but not too close where it gets to be weird or a problem.
My IL's are great. They can be a little quirky at times, but overall I'm very lucky in that department. MIL loves to make other people happy. If she finds out about a food or drink that you like, and if you spend any significant amount of time at their house then that item is pretty much guranteed to be in stock. They've been very generous in helping us out, which I am appreciative of, but then sometimes I feel bad that they've helped so much. FIL can be a little pushy with his opinions, but is generally very helpful.
BIL was 13 when H and I started dating, so he's kind of like the little brother I never had. He's grown into a great young man. He's going into his last year of law school, which is a profession in which I think he'll do really well.
Post by estrellita on Jul 22, 2014 12:56:31 GMT -5
I like my in laws.. I think I got super lucky! I haven't had them be too pushy about anything yet. I know with kids it might change but honestly they're pretty laid back! There may or may not be a reason they are so laid back, and that's one of the interesting things a lot of people (like my family) don't know about, haha.
I think my only stories really are about BIL and his psycho GF, MIL's siblings being petty and dramatic, and FIL's 12 siblings and the way they lie to their almost 100 year old mother. Those are fun stories. My family has NO drama compared to them!
My FIL is amazing. I don't have a relationship with my dad, and when I did it wasn't a good one. FIL is everything a dad should be. He is always amazing. Lucky for us, because DH and FIL work at the same company so they see each other a lot.
MIL can be a bit overbearing. She likes to control things and sometimes you have to tell her to back off. For the most part she is awesome. I honestly don't think she realizes she is being annoying when she is, but at least if you let her know she backs off easy and takes it well.
BIL is fun when he isn't over stressed. He will complain a LOT about something when it is bothering him (work/wife/children) but when he is in a good mood he is really fun to be around.
I have a love/hate relationship with my MIL. She is great for the most part, but she has times where she doesn't understand boundaries and it can be frustrating. But if I ask her for anything she will do it for me. (She cones and helps me clean the house if I need help, she watches out pup if we go out of town etc.)
My FIL and I get a long great he is very sweet. DH and FIL are best friends, it's kinda cute.
SIL and I get a long well, which is nice. They only thing that gets between us is that we don't have the same parenting style, even though I'm not a parent. She never disciplines her children which is very frustrating. But if we are hanging out with no kids then it's usually great.
I only tolerate BIL, he is a drug addict/alcoholic who can't keep a job, lives at home and mooches off of MIL/FIL. I would be ok with cutting him out of our lives and DH would be as well if he didn't live with the ILs.
Post by theatre4life on Jul 23, 2014 10:45:47 GMT -5
Mmm...mine stress everyone out, including my H, lol.
My MIL means well, but can't understand why her and her son have no relationship. (Maybe having to do with the fact that she retired, sold her house nearby, and moved to NM (we live in VA), she never calls, and when she does, she talks about herself the entire time, and never bothers to ask how he is doing.) Her house is for sale, and we are curious to see where she is moving to. (The toss up is between ME, NC, or possibly (probably not) VA.) One fun story from her, she called me three days before our wedding, saying she was stuck in Mexico, because of political riots. :\. My response? Well, the wedding is happening Saturday, hopefully you will be there. What the hell was I supposed to say? And why didn't she call her son?? [One of the many stories that make me cringe with her.]
My FIL is socially awkward, and can come across as very crass and judgmental. It always feels like nothing is good enough/up to his standards. He is a nice enough guy (and I adore his long-time gf, she is a sweetheart), but I can only take him in doses. He told us about a month after we told him that we were pregnant, that he bought a house in FL, and was selling his house in MD. I would love if our son could have a relationship with his grandparents on that side, but they are making it difficult.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Jul 23, 2014 10:55:04 GMT -5
I love my ILs but definitely have my issues with them. DH does too and seeing how they handle their issues has been really hard for me to get close to them. There has been a lot of hurt between lots of love, if that makes any sense. Basically, DH is one of three kids but the other two don't have anything to do with the family (I've never met or talked to them). For a long time DH felt pressure to see his parents, be the son for all three kids, etc and it caused some anger (let's face it, that's a lot of pressure that shouldn't be there given he isn't the only child).
Anyways, MIL has boundary issues but has definitely improved over the years. She means well but we are just really different people. I'm the daughter she never had and therefore just wants to chit chat about anything and everything non-stop, very analytical. It drives me crazy and feels clingy. It probably doesn't help that we basically see them for 3+ days at a time (have spent plenty of weeklong trips with them) for most visits and is usually DH's and my getaway time (DH refuses to stay in a hotel room and spend money when we can go there for free...that's our issue but it doesn't help me want to see them more, ha). They used to give us space and let us come out by ourselves but that ended about a year ago. They even go out of their way to be there when we are (they could be at their other house and drive out to the new house specifically and only for the days we are planning to be there...and then not leave the house at all, even to go to church (which they do every weekend we are not there, just because we are there (and we would love the quiet and alone time without them home once in a while).
But again...they are great people and I do love them. It's just accepting very different personalities and understanding why they do things the way they do. They have been very supportive of us and helped us out tremendously and I know that they would be here for us at the drop of a dime.
Post by rockinrobyn on Jul 23, 2014 11:06:42 GMT -5
I agree. Love the in-laws, but like anyone they have their quirks. MIL is an overspender/over shopper. MIL and FIL bicker like two teenage siblings. MIL also acts like a teenager in her everyday life (i.e wanting everything her friends have, wanting the best clothes and only wearing them once or twice). I love them anyway.
SIL is a pill, and BIL has been castrated by SIL and cannot do anything without her permission. SIL also cannot take any criticism or be told what to do and throws a fit when it happens. H has taken to picking on her just to get a rile out of her.
They all do a lot for us and I love them tremendously, but they are not my family and I am able to see all of their flaws.
My FIL is 6'7, he's huge and makes you feel like you're a little kid standing next to an adult. He's kind but extremely self-centered.
My MIL is nice but she has a lot of emotional baggage from growing up with a horrible father. She is very forgetful and absent-minded. She has the type of personality that she can go from being fine to completely losing it. She has no problem telling my husband to fuck off and then hanging up on him. 5 days later we will see her again and she will act like nothing happened. She's just an odd person. My FIL cheated on my MIL and they were divorced in the early 90's......she's still bitter towards him almost 24 years later and he doesn't engage in pissing her off. In fact he acts cordial to her and never pokes her....she still hates him.
Post by HoneySpider on Jul 23, 2014 18:53:05 GMT -5
I love my MIL, I definitely feel I got lucky there. She' just a really good person. I mentioned when FIL passed away that he was tough to deal with and we didn't really have a relationship.
My one SIL, I love her and her family - they are just fun, down to earth people. My other SIL we don't see as much and I like her, but I feel I haven't really gotten to know her yet My BIL is a good guy, but he is really self-absorbed and it's annoying me more and more as time goes on (and he's 50 years old, it's not like he's young and going to outgrow it - he's just a bachelor who does what he wants and doesn't really think about other people)
Overall, though, I feel pretty lucky. Could be a lot worse!