More than two years later, I still miss my dog, and occasionally I still look up expecting to see him. It's gotten better, but that sadness is still there.
Dh and I keep seeing him when we walk into rooms. Not really, but thinking he was there for a split second just cat him a glimpse of something like a piece of furniture and our of habit, thinking it's coop.
Kiddo had a little breakdown about him last night when we got home from out of town and he wasn't there w Dh to greet us. I had been thinking the same as we gt closer to home but hadnt said anything about him.
Last month, our neighbor got a dog who barks a lot. Coop didn't, but his bark was very similar to the neighbor dog's. Today neighbor's dog barked and stopped me and kiddo in our tracks and then she and I had to talk a little more about coop. She tends to talk more to Dh than me about coop - I think because I tend to cry more. But lately she's been talking to me a little more about him. I do tell her it's ok to talk about coop. She pretends to throw him and the other dogs in heaven squeaky fish. And then throws pretend rocks when she decides they're swimming. (Our weirdo dog fetched rocks while swimming. We threw him little ones but he digs out rocks bigger than his head and carries them out in his teeth. It's crazy to watch!)
Oh no, jenny, I don't know how I missed this. I'm so incredibly sorry. Losing a pet is the worst kind of pain. :-( He was so gorgeous and seemed like such a wonderful pup and companion for your girls (and you).
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"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
I'm sorry Jenny. It's completely normal, and the worst.
When we lost Peanut unexpectedly about 4 months ago, I couldn't handle the quiet in the house (we have no kids). We did bring home a new shelter pup in less than a month of him passing - in hopes that she would make things a bit easier. Everyone is different... but it feels better to cry into the new dog's fur than into my pillow. It was most likely too early and she hasn't replaced Peanut at all. We still grieve, but now we aren't dealing with the grief AND small things like walking into an empty house. We found a dog that was NOTHING like Peanut, except being roughly the same age. I like this dog, but she's definitely a "rebound". I care for her, but don't feel the same way as I do about Peanut. And that's ok. I was able to save a life, and give her a good life.
I still think of my little man, and desperately want him back at times. His cuddles were the BEST at night, and as he declined he didn't feel well enough to be up to it. Not knowing what made him sick so quickly makes it tough. At the same time, I don't want to know in case it was just something we missed and was treatable.
I'm so sorry. As others have said, it's unfortunately completely normal.
Everyone has to find their own path through the grief. I will say that, for us, fostering was part of it. The silence at home was too much after about 6 weeks, but I was a fucking wreck and still having what I believe were panic attacks. I worried that I would resent a new dog. Then I saw one on fb, not even looking, who needed a foster home, and he pulled at my heart. He ended up not being a good fit for us as a foster home, but the rescue contacted us about a week later with an urgent case of 2 dogs that needed to be fostered together in a house without other dogs. We agreed. I was terrified. Luckily I did not resent them, and we even ended up being foster failures. But I thought I'd tell my story in case you might want the noise/distraction of another animal in your home without committing to a new family member. It was a great bridge for us. Over a year later, I still occasionally cry over my lost little dude, and our house is full of pictures of him and probably always will be, but loving these 2 monsters helped me not focus on my pain so constantly while I worked through the worst of it.
Post by flamingeaux on Jul 23, 2014 8:47:00 GMT -5
It does suck and it's absolutely normal, I hope. I have been feeling like I need therapy, because my girl's been gone since 2012. I've cried for her several times during this pregnancy.
Aw Jenny. I'm tearing up in sympathy. I 100% get where you're coming from, and it sucks. ((((((hugs)))))) In time I know you'll be able to welcome a new dog, but there's no rush.