I HATE CHILDREN

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

So, at work, we are not allowed to tell people in the environment that we are the client's therapist (obviously, HI HIIPA!!) They suggest that we tell them that we are a friend of the family. This is stupid, because 1 - my job title is on my ID, and 2 - of course I'm not. I suppose it's just a polite way of telling the noseys to get bent.

Some little kindergartner came up to me at summer camp, where I was with my fourth-grade client, got two inches from my face, and mouth-breathed 'WHYYYY ARE YOU WITH JOHNNYYYYYY??' I said, 'I'm just with him.' She stared at me and said, 'ARE YOU HIS GRANDMA?'

ARE

YOU

HIS

GRANDMA



YOU

HIS

GRANDMA



GRANDMA???



I said, "Hi, do I LOOK LIKE A GRANDMA??"

She shrugged, realizing that I found that offensive but plainly not giving a shit, and said, "Some people become grandmas when they're younger."

There most likely are under-30 grandmas out there. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM, PUNK.


Happily, my other client, at another camp, asked me how old I was the day before. I said seventeen. He looked at me and said, "Really?" I said yes. He shrugged and bought it.

He is getting ALL MY COOKIES.

[Deleted]

lol. Fourth grade! Kid should know better than that.

Last month, a preschooler got in my face at Andys daycare and asked why my hair was so crazy. I believe curly was the word she was looking for, but whatever PIGTAILS

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Oh, and STFU about my hair, IT'S 96 DEGREES OUT, HEAVY AS HELL, AND THERE IS NO GODDAMNED AIR CONDITIONING IN THOSE SCHOOLS.

[amberlyrose]

this story ends with you shoving the kid in a lake, right?

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Jul 23, 2014 12:23:49 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

And then you kicked her in the face?

I need a pocketKevin.

[sonrisa]

Was it my kid? She thinks I'm in my 60s.

[KB]

Kids are dicks.

[lilafowler]

Noooooo

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Two years ago, I convinced the entire 2nd grade class I was in that it was my 20th birthday (I originally said 19, but that is SILLY, Miss Stacy, YOU'D STILL BE IN COLLEGE) and they all made me surprise HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! cards for me at their houses.

Even with the teacher saying, "Guys...no..." they all believed me. I took them home and spread them out on the table while H called me names.

I am currently cherishing this moment.

[Eagles]

What a little shit. I hope her snack falls in a mud puddle.

[Deleted]

LOL. I was once walking past a park in my parent's town. There was 2 little girls about 8 or 9 playing. The first one ask, "Hey, who is that walking by?" The other one looks up and goes, "I don't know, just some old lady."

I was 21 at the time so I was all kinds of 

[thatgirl2478]

wait ... it was a kindergartener who asked?  Blow it off. They have no concept of age...

[Deleted]

Andy just turned two, and learned how to say I TWO when asked how old he is. H asked him how old mama is, and he looked at me and said MAMA THREE

awww

[dowagercountess]

GET OUTTA ME CAH!

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Jul 23, 2014 12:52:05 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

GET OUTTA ME CAH!

DAMMIT, I KNEW IT

nawwwwwwwwwwwww

[iamgrace]

OMG, I love you so much.

Lollololol

Kids know nothing. NOTHING.

[elenetxu]

I used to have kids guess my age to practice their numbers in English.
Yeah, that got depressing.

[dowagercountess]

Jul 23, 2014 12:53:52 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

Jul 23, 2014 12:52:05 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

GET OUTTA ME CAH!

DAMMIT, I KNEW IT

nawwwwwwwwwwwww

I'm in me mum's cah!

[alicenelson]

OMG, I am having to stifle my laughter in my office!  /ded

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Jul 23, 2014 12:56:04 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Jul 23, 2014 12:53:52 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

DAMMIT, I KNEW IT

nawwwwwwwwwwwww

I'm in me mum's cah!

broom, broom...

[dowagercountess]

Tis now complete.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Jul 23, 2014 12:58:20 GMT -5 dowagercountess said:

Tis now complete.

Until roughly 3 AM your time...

I mean, don't put your phone on vibrate tonight.

I'm struggling to make that dirty but can't figure out how.

[papie]

Lol
Sophia told MIL that she is very old because she has white hair like my yiayia who died and she will die too. Yiayia was 90, MIL is 70. She was like "I am not quite ready to die yet, kid!"

[CurlyQ284]

At DSs daycare, the preschool kids had this big activity sheet where they had to guess the weights of things. The teacher obviously set herself up for failure and put herself on the list. About half the kids gave her a higher weight than like whales and dinosaurs. Then it had a note that said you weren't on her good side if you said she weighs more than a whale.

[irishbride2]

I often have my 8th graders guess how old I am. It is hilarious to hear the wide range...and this from kids who at least should have a decent idea.

The lowest I've been told is 19. The highest: 55.

I just turned 30 this year.

[statlerwaldorf]

Jul 23, 2014 12:26:19 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Was it my kid? She thinks I'm in my 60s.

My kid is convinced I am 62. I have no idea how she came up with that number.

[4speedy]

Yep, kindergartners suck when it comes to age related comments.
My 5yo asked me if I was alive in "the olden days"
I said, "I don't know, when were the olden days."

He shrugged and said "the 80's"

[sawyerthedestroyer]

Whatever. You're hot.

[Deleted]

Kids give zero fucks and have no filter. Bad combination.

[Deleted]

3 year old at my girls' old daycare asked me why my belly still "looked like that" if I'd already had my baby. I told him he'd never date either of my daughters, like ever. Kids are something else.