Poll: Birthday party- Do you expect to pay your own meal?

[cransplash]

I think this may vary b/w groups of friends (or even by location), but would you expect to have your meal covered or pay your own way?

Here are the details:
- Birthday dinner at a local pizzeria (pizzas are approx $17 for a large; drinks are $2pp)
- Birthday is for an adult
- 11 adult friends and 4 children are attending (potentially 4 more adults and 5 more children may be coming but not 100% confirmed)
- Location: Midwest (Ohio)

Eta- It was an evite that stated "come celebrate X's birthday. Dinner is at Pizzeria Y"

[Deleted]

I would assume that the host would buy several pizzas that would be fair game for everyone. Any alcoholic drinks would be covered by the person drinking them.

[hamster]

We generally all pay our own way, although we did treat my friends when we all went out for my birthday. It was more expensive than pizza though.

[definitelyO]

Ony group the birthday person does not pay for their meal. Their meal is picked up by everyone else.

[mbcdefg]

Depends on what the birthday person (or if their SO is organizing it) says. "Come to my birthday party!" or sending out invites indicates to me that they'll host the food and drinks (soft drinks at least).

"We're going out for my birthday if you want to join us" means to me that we all pay for ourselves.

We're friends with two other couples and the six of us usually go out for each of our birthdays. Birthday Person picks the restaurant and we all pay for ourselves. We don't chip in for the birthday person, but for our respective 30th birthdays the other two couples chipped in for a gift (MH and the other guys got nice liquor, one wife got a spa GC, and I got a purse).

ETA: in the case of the invite in your OP, I would expect them to purchase the pizza and (at least) sodas for the guests. But I'd bring along cash just in case that's not what happens.

[spunkarella]

Everyone always pays their own way in my group. The host is expected to provide cake, either brought to the restaurant or served at their house afterward.

[thejen626]

Sigh. I'm always prepared to pay for my own, and have yet to ever have someone else pick up the entire tab. I think that the hosts *should* pay for everyone, at least the food, and let people buy their own drinks if necessary. I just don't like the "come to a restaurant, celebrate my birthday, buy your own food and drinks, and oh yeah where's my gift?"

When I host people for my birthday, I pick up the tab about 80% of the time. This year I didn't, because we had just bought a new house and DH had just broken his leg and had surgery, so I let my friends buy me brunch instead

[Marmee]

I'd expect to pay my own way but I also think the host should cover. In other words...if I hosted I would pay at least pizza & cake. But I know not everyone feels that way.

[lime]

For us, we always pay for ourselves and other (e.g. pick up the whole tab) when it is our birthday.

Last year, H bought 10 of our family and friends dinner at a restaurant in his hometown. I realize that is not the norm, but I was very glad that we had that have the ability to cover everyone and to enjoy such a great evening together.

[cransplash]

So let me clarify- it was an evite that said "come celebrate X's birthday at Pizzeria Y"

[ECB]

That invitation? Id probably go planning to pay for myself but I'll be honest - a pizza party? The host should pick up the damn tab.

I really don't mind paying when it comes to a real sit down/ nice dinner. But pizza? Come on.

[Deleted]

As birthday girl, I would not "expect" to pay for my own meal -- I'd come prepared to pay for it, but chances are extraordinarily good that my friends would refuse to let me pay. That's what usually happens among my friends.

As guest, I would expect to pay for my own meal + my proportional share of the birthday boy/girl's meal, but wouldn't be shocked if guest of honor paid for him/herself (and everyone else).

Hope for the best but expect the worst?

[msmerymac]

Well, I think everyone SHOULD cover people they invite, but that's neither here nor there...

With a pizzeria, though? I don't know how the host could NOT pay for it. What do you do, walk around and say, "Okay, you are 3 slices, but 1 was sausage, which is extra, and your kid had 1.5 slices, so that's really 2, and it looks like you drank half a pitcher of coke, so your total is $14.63, cash please." Unless it's a fancy place where you buy your own individual artisan pizza.

I'd be okay buying my own drinks in that scenario, but if I were hosting, I'd buy a flat number of pizzas, a few pitchers of beer and pop, and cover it myself.

[wavepool]

By sending an evite, they are hosting and I'd expect they are buying the pizzas. I'd expect to buy my own beer and if I ate anything other than the pizza. I'd bring a gift!

Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards

[flatlan]

Based on the evite wording, I would expect the host to pay.

[jewel]

I would go expecting to pay my own way, but I think it would be nice (especially given the update) if the host covered pizza + soda.

In our group, it could go either way. I wouldn't be offended to pay for myself, but if we were hosting something similar, we'd cover everyone.

[lime]

With the evite wording, the host should be paying.

In terms of expectations, I would still assume I'd have to chip in.

[awick14]

I think this is very group dependent.

In our group of friends we usually pay our own way. (Plus pitch for birthday girl/boys meal and drinks)

[chia]

Since it's pizza... I'd expect the host to pick up the tab.
At a more expensive dinner, it would depend on how the situation was presented.

[M]

I would never expect anyone to pay no matter what the scenario. I would come prepared to pay and be surprised if host paid.

[sillygoosegirl]

I would expect to pay for my own meal and a share of the birthday person's meal, but not for a share of the birthday person's SO's or children's meals. I would not bring a gift or a card, and I would be surprised if anyone else did (meal is the gift), aside perhaps for the SO or other immediate family members present.

[h]

Given the evite I would expect the host to pay. If it were a "hostless" word-of-mouth event with no invitations sent, I would expect to pay my own way.

[Deleted]

I would expect the host to pay if it was 11 people. If people are supposed to pay for their own food, it should be made clear on the invite.

[ddi741]

Because of the way the invite was worded, I'd expect to pay.

[Deleted]

come celebrate X's birthday at Pizzeria - That means you are invited to a party. You don't pay when at a party.

[mpc]

In my group of friends, everyone would pay their own way in this scenario. One person would probably volunteer to pick up the birthday person's meal. No gifts. We usually see these things as a good excuse to go hang out together. Since it's someone's birthday, they get the privilege of picking where we go to do that.

[calico]

I would expect to pay for mine and part of the birthday person's meal.
Out of curiosity for those that expect their meal to be covered- how would you word an invite that conveyed the host expected you to pay your way?

[scout8]

Jul 23, 2014 20:51:07 GMT -5 v said:

As birthday girl, I would not "expect" to pay for my own meal -- I'd come prepared to pay for it, but chances are extraordinarily good that my friends would refuse to let me pay. That's what usually happens among my friends.

As guest, I would expect to pay for my own meal + my proportional share of the birthday boy/girl's meal, but wouldn't be shocked if guest of honor paid for him/herself (and everyone else).

Hope for the best but expect the worst?

This exactly.

[sa]

I received a similar invite before to a 30th birthday. It was an organized event with invites and about 25 guests. I was really surprised that we were all asked to chip in on the bill.

It was no big deal, but I was surprised.

If it was just a word of mouth invitation, "hey we're getting together to go out for X's birthday" - I'd expect to pay. An official invitation and a milestone birthday - I would have expected the host to pay.

After that, I never expect that my meal will be covered.

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 20:49:26 GMT -5 ECB said:

That invitation? Id probably go planning to pay for myself but I'll be honest - a pizza party? The host should pick up the damn tab.

I really don't mind paying when it comes to a real sit down/ nice dinner. But pizza? Come on.

This is really strange logic to me.  I understand that pizza is cheap so it is easier for the honoree to pick up the tab.  But on the other hand, essentially you're saying that it is fine for the birthday boy/girl to invite you to a restaurant not of your choosing (and not necessarily of your taste) where the meal will cost, say, $75 per person, and then expect you to pay your own way, but it is not okay to expect guests to chip in $10 each for pizza and beer?