When should I have this baby?

[lilac05]

Jul 24, 2014 10:50:37 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Jul 24, 2014 9:24:12 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Why do people want to have giant 7 year olds in Kindergarten? People are weird about school and maturity - and about boys and their maturity especially.

Because some of us have watched kids struggle because they were encouraged to start school early because they were "so smart"...but weren't ready socially. 

Because some people want their children to play in sports (not me), and they're thinking well beyond kindergarten.  

Some me people don't want to be sending 17 year olds to live on their own at college.

There are lots of reasons...that's why I'd want the decision made for me.

[LLL]

Jul 24, 2014 10:50:37 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Jul 24, 2014 9:24:12 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Why do people want to start their kids in K early? What is the benefit? I'm not flaming you for thinking about the cut-off dates, just wondering. I can see the advantage of starting late but not starting early.

Why do people want to have giant 7 year olds in Kindergarten? People are weird about school and maturity - and about boys and their maturity especially.

I guess it depends on the schools. A full day of kindergarten with only a 30 min recess and little opportunity for free play wasn't the best for us. Kindergarten is not so much eating glue paste and learning to fake nap anymore. shame 

[jlt19]

Jul 24, 2014 9:24:12 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Why do people want to start their kids in K early? What is the benefit? I'm not flaming you for thinking about the cut-off dates, just wondering. I can see the advantage of starting late but not starting early.

I don't think it's about sending them early, it's about either sending them "on time" or late. Our cut off is August 1. My kids bdays are  in June and July. So, if I went by the rules, they'd go to K after just turning 5. Currently, DD is 4, and we are planning to send her next year, just after turning 5, but I'm still pretty unsure about if I'm making the right decision.

[05heel]

Couldn't the cutoff date change anyway at some point? I know ours does here from time to time.

Also, I loved being one of the oldest in my class. I bought cigarettes for people, got into the 18 and up clubs (18 to dip, 21 to sip! Holla!), and had my pick of the sexy older dudes in college that were afraid to bang my friends who were not yet of age. They missed out on some quality peen.

[nadasteph]

I scheduled a c-section for 39w1d for much worse reasons than school cut offs.  I was superstitious about the dates.  And my friend whose due date was two days after mine was scheduled to be induced the day after my section changed her induction so our babies would share a birthday.  I saw go with whatever date you want.

[Deleted]

Do whatever you want.

Your baby. Your choice.

[nerdicorn]

I don't think you're crazy and you're talking a couple days of difference. I say go ahead and do it earlier. Also after I went over 2 weeks past my due date with P, and had the worst time starting week 38, I think there's something to be said about your own comfort here too.

[gummybear]

DD #1 is 9/21. She was due 9/30. And K cut-off def. entered my mind when I was pg.

The cut off here varies from 9/1-9/15. She misses it by 6 days and is one of the oldest in her class. She is also big for her age and super smart.

All that being said, it's been great having her be older. I would much rather that than younger/youngest. K is a lot more demanding than it was back in the day. I personally would aim for a day after the cut off so you don't even have to struggle with the "should we send him" question.

[revolution]

OP - pick the day that works best for you and your family. If you want him to start when he is 4/turning 5, then pick the 15th. Your doctors who are trained medical professionals have said whatever date that week works for you, so pick one that works for you.

And why are people starting kids early or late in K?? geez people, why can't we just follow the guidelines for the district we are in and start whenever they are supposed to? I guess i just don't get the phenomenon. And I was one of the oldest in my class and I loved it. And I "missed" the cutoff by a whole freaking week.

[gummybear]

I think some (not all) people who want to start their kid early think of it as another sign of superior parenting and intellectual dominance. I asked around a lot about this when I was pg. and probably 95% of the people I asked (mostly educators) said it's always better to be older. It's not so much about the educational demands, it's about 10 years down the road, and the social and emotional impact.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'd go for 9/21 because that's when all the cool kids are born.

[tinkerbell]

Three of my aunt & uncle's five kids have birthdays right around their district's kindergarten cutoff date. They sent the first one just as she was turning 5 and regretted it so she held the other 2 back until they were turning 6.

[starlily]

Jul 24, 2014 8:50:10 GMT -5 eddy said:

I also remember going to the March of Dimes website to make myself feel better about having to have a late-term premie...and it did not lol. My poor shrunken brained baby.

But your little guy will be nice and cooked. I bet his brain won't be shrunken at all. :-)

I did the same after having DD1. Bad move on my part. Since DD2 was also early, I now have two girls with shrunken brains. My poor kids.

[zarapipe]

Jul 24, 2014 8:20:26 GMT -5 tigress said:

Thanks for the responses guys.

And thanks to those who shamed me for considering such a thing. I will take it all into consideration lol.

We are twins. I'm due sept 22nd and I am definatley thinking about cut off dates. I would definatley like the option of sending her if she made the cut off and if she was ready. This is primarily money driven. An extra year if daycare is exspensive!

It was nice with dd, who was born in march. Perfectly in the middle date wise and no guess work of what would happen, would she be ready, etc.

[spk926]

Honestly I'm surprised they are having you go early just because you had a 4th degree tear. I had a 4th degree and I would still take that over c-section recovery.

I would go as late as possible because it's better for your child.

[cereal K]

Jul 24, 2014 12:12:01 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Jul 24, 2014 12:08:15 GMT -5 Jennyanydots said:

But doesn't it even out at the end? You may pay for one more year of daycare now, but then when they are older, you have one more year to save up for post-secondary school!

If people down there are worried about 5&6 year olds in school...here in Ontario, my daughter will still be 3 when she starts elementary school - she has a late November birthday and we have full-day Junior Kindergarten which begins the year you turn 4. I am very concerned that this means she may not make the Canadian Women's Olympic Hockey team, as Malcolm Gladwell pointed out in Outliers 

Parents who are worrying about saving an extra year of daycare aren't parents who can afford to pay for college. 

That's a gross generalization. 

And I mean "gross" in both senses, here. 

[cville]

Jul 24, 2014 21:13:31 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jul 24, 2014 20:25:30 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Honestly I'm surprised they are having you go early just because you had a 4th degree tear. I had a 4th degree and I would still take that over c-section recovery.

I would go as late as possible because it's better for your child.

Oh, come on. You are questioning her doctor's medical judgment now?  Have you had a c-section recovery? I feel like people are just talking out of their asses here. There is not much of a difference in neonatal outcomes between 39 weeks and 41 weeks. It's interesting how much different a response I got when I asked about an elective induction because I was miserable being pregnant and anxious about going into labor at home.

I know.  Because, of course, every single 4th degree tear ever has been exactly the same.  So if one 4th degree tear recovery was not so bad and didn't implicate all future bowel control, clearly NO ONE else's ever was.



Gah.  I didn't have a 4th degree tear, an induction, OR a c-section and I'm all WTF.

[spk926]

Jul 24, 2014 21:13:31 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jul 24, 2014 20:25:30 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Honestly I'm surprised they are having you go early just because you had a 4th degree tear. I had a 4th degree and I would still take that over c-section recovery.

I would go as late as possible because it's better for your child.

Oh, come on. You are questioning her doctor's medical judgment now?  Have you had a c-section recovery? I feel like people are just talking out of their asses here. There is not much of a difference in neonatal outcomes between 39 weeks and 41 weeks. It's interesting how much different a response I got when I asked about an elective induction because I was miserable being pregnant and anxious about going into labor at home.

Woooow now. All I said was I'm surprised that the doctor was scheduling a c-section for a tear. I've asked my doctor what will happen next time because I had severe pre-e and during labor shoulder dystocia  and a 4th degree tear. My doctor said that none of those are medical reasons to induce me early or have a planned c-section so it's interesting to hear another doctor say something so different. Also, because of my severe pre-e I was induced at 36 weeks and I WISH she could've stayed in for 40 weeks or around there. You can't argue that 40 weeks isn't better than 39 weeks and when given the choice *I* would choose 40 weeks so that's what I suggested.  I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion because it's different from yours.

ETA: fixed spelling

[cville]

Jul 24, 2014 21:18:39 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Jul 24, 2014 21:13:31 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Oh, come on. You are questioning her doctor's medical judgment now?  Have you had a c-section recovery? I feel like people are just talking out of their asses here. There is not much of a difference in neonatal outcomes between 39 weeks and 41 weeks. It's interesting how much different a response I got when I asked about an elective induction because I was miserable being pregnant and anxious about going into labor at home.

Woooow now. All I said was I'm surprised that the doctor was scheduling a c-section for a tear. I've asked my doctor what will happen next time because I had severe pre-e and during labor shoulder dystocia  and a 4th degree tear. My doctor said that none of those are medical reasons to induce me early or have a planned c-section so it's interesting to hear another doctor say something so different. Also, because of my severe pre-e I was induced at 36 weeks and I WISH she could've stayed in for 40 weeks or around there. You can't argue that 40 weeks isn't better than 39 weeks and when given the choice *I* would choose 40 weeks so that's what I suggested.  I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion because it's different from yours.

ETA: fixed spelling

You can't?  Really?  Bar none there's no situation in which a trained OB/neonatologist wouldn't be like "eh, it's well after 36 weeks, full term, 39/40 probably functionally equivalent"?

[kristie]

This post is making me ragey. When all the organizations like ACOG, AWHONN, APA and who knows who else use actual studies and have come to an agreement that the best outcomes are between 39 & 41 weeks, I am inclined to listen to them over people on this board who are weirdly shaming a 39 week delivery. Seriously?

And yes shoulder dystocia and 4th degree tears are absolutely an indication for an elective c-section second time around if the patient and doctor decide to go that route. And 39 weeks? Its not early. 41 weeks plus starts being just as bad as preterm. So, stop with your weird shaming, because you don't know what you are talking about.

[vanillacourage]

I did not read all the way through the thread but anyone talking about holding back a June baby earns a side-eye from me.

[Deleted]

Jul 24, 2014 21:18:39 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Jul 24, 2014 21:13:31 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Oh, come on. You are questioning her doctor's medical judgment now?  Have you had a c-section recovery? I feel like people are just talking out of their asses here. There is not much of a difference in neonatal outcomes between 39 weeks and 41 weeks. It's interesting how much different a response I got when I asked about an elective induction because I was miserable being pregnant and anxious about going into labor at home.

Woooow now. All I said was I'm surprised that the doctor was scheduling a c-section for a tear. I've asked my doctor what will happen next time because I had severe pre-e and during labor shoulder dystocia  and a 4th degree tear. My doctor said that none of those are medical reasons to induce me early or have a planned c-section so it's interesting to hear another doctor say something so different. Also, because of my severe pre-e I was induced at 36 weeks and I WISH she could've stayed in for 40 weeks or around there. You can't argue that 40 weeks isn't better than 39 weeks and when given the choice *I* would choose 40 weeks so that's what I suggested.  I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion because it's different from yours.

ETA: fixed spelling

Huh? Do you know what you're talking about?
Neonatal mortality rate is the same (0.8) at 39 weeks vs 40 weeks. People research these kind of things. There is other data as well. This is would explain why the guidelines came about to be ok with scheduling c-sections after 39 weeks. 

Of course you can have an opinion, but research says otherwise.

OP, I don't think there is anything wrong with scheduling after any time your doctor has recommended and to take all options in to consideration. I have an October birthday and started early and was always one of the youngest in my class and didn't mind and I turned out ok  

[Jalapeñomel]

Jul 24, 2014 7:46:41 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

Kindergarten cut off wouldn't even enter my mind. Lol

Me neither. 

[daisybuchannan]

Jul 24, 2014 21:31:11 GMT -5 kristie said:

This post is making me ragey. When all the organizations like ACOG, AWHONN, APA and who knows who else use actual studies and have come to an agreement that the best outcomes are between 39 & 41 weeks, I am inclined to listen to them over people on this board who are weirdly shaming a 39 week delivery. Seriously?

And yes shoulder dystocia and 4th degree tears are absolutely an indication for an elective c-section second time around if the patient and doctor decide to go that route. And 39 weeks? Its not early. 41 weeks plus starts being just as bad as preterm. So, stop with your weird shaming, because you don't know what you are talking about.

I'm happy you're chiming in here, bc I thought going 41 plus was risky as well.

Wtf people. I had severe pre e that came on the day I delivered at 38 plus a few days. I'm freaked out it will happen again. I really never thought an induction at 39 weeks would be flamed like this.

[peachykate]

I'd go for whatever works for you, this thread is crazy.

I had a c-section due to health reasons and I picked the very first day that I could. It happens to be the cut off date in our district for Kindergarten for where we live now, it was the day after where we used to live. He's going a year later for all sorts of reason from maturity to the fact that if we didn't hold him back he wouldn't have a full license when we send him off to college.

[nerdicorn]

I would find a new ob-gyn if they were all "whelp shoulder dystocia isn't a great reason to do future c-sections". Like hell it isn't.

Good for the people absolutely committed to vaginal birth but it's not the only way a baby can be born nor is it always the best way. There's a reason childbirth was the number one killer of women of childbearing age pre modern medicine and the day of birth was and continues to be the most dangerous day of a child's first 18 years. So when someone asks which day they should choose for a scheduled section, the correct answer shouldn't include questioning and judging why they are having a c-section when you aren't their doctor.

[tigress]

Jul 24, 2014 20:25:30 GMT -5 spk926 said:

Honestly I'm surprised they are having you go early just because you had a 4th degree tear. I had a 4th degree and I would still take that over c-section recovery.

I would go as late as possible because it's better for your child.

I had a 4th degree tear and have had minor incontinence issues since. The likelihood is high that if I tear the issues could get worse. Pooping my pants isn't my favorite thing to do. Not sure about you. If I wasn't having these issues, I would go vaginal as even though I tore 4th degree my last delivery was good. Have you had a c-section also?

[tigress]

Jul 25, 2014 5:35:39 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Jul 24, 2014 7:46:41 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

Kindergarten cut off wouldn't even enter my mind. Lol

Me neither. 

Again, it wouldn't have entered mine if I didn't have a kid entering kindergarten right now. And realized the date was so close. 

But eh I don't even care anymore. This thread went much more crazy than I was anticipating. TBH I'm probably going to schedule it Monday if possible but if not no biggie. The other factor is I coach a high school team and we have no competitions that I would miss that week of 9/15, but we do have a meet on 9/23. So the earlier I have the kid the more likely it would be I could have someone bring me over to the meet for a little bit. But if I have the baby later in the week that will be fine too. Whatevs.