Moving and kids starting over with new friends?

[shaynaatl]

Even though little one is only 4 months old, we are trying to plan on when we'll move from our current city neighborhood to the suburbs.  We have a very good elementary school, but the middle school and high school are not well-regarded.  So most residents here send their kids to private school starting in 6th grade, which we can't afford to do.

So we could wait until after 5th grade is over to do the move.  Would you have any concerns about her starting over and having to make new friends at that age?  Our other option would be moving to the burbs before she starts elementary school.  I know families move all the time and kids adjust, but what would you do if you had both options? 

Current home has adequate size, and current neighborhood is safe and has plenty of access to outdoor space, parks, etc so those aren't issues.

[lmb5109]

As someone who moved often when I was younger, I would have preferred to be in one school district the whole time so I could have move to each grade with friends. It was hard to make new friends each time we moved since most were friends since kindergarten or even earlier.

We moved into our house right after DD was born and I will not move (pending something happens that we can no longer afford to stay here and even then I'll try my hardest to stay in the same subdivison) until we can no longer take care of this house. I was so jealous of those who had one house their whole lives and had memories growing up in one house and even now, those who go back home to their parents and they are in their childhood home.

[curbsideprophet]

Are schools the only reason you are moving?

Since your LO is only 4 months it is too early to tell how shy/out going/Rex they are. For us, I think we would try to move before starting elementary school since DD can be a bit shy around new people and in new situations. I might not worry about it if she was more outgoing/comfortable with change/transitions.

[drloretta]

As a former military brat, I'd stay and move once middle school started. Kids are resilient. My parents always made sure we knew THEY were there no matter what, so it was a very stabilizing influence (despite 3 high school in 4 years)

[hocus2]

If you're only considering your child then I'd try to move well before 6th grade,.  I think there is some very helpful in having elementary school during the statistic middle school years. Of course a lot of kids start over in middle school even if they don't move since often there is a mix of elementary schools that feed a middle school (and a stream of kids moving to private) and kid start to have choices about which classes they take which starts separating kids out based on interest and academic skills. 


However your desires and wishes as also important. If you want to stay where you are because you generally love where you live than that is fine. Your middle school may change a lot in the next 5-10 years anyway.