I can't believe I'm actually asking this but if you had DC1 at AMA, how long did you wait between pregnancies? As much as I'm scared about having 2 in diapers/daycare I'm actually more concerned now about waiting too long. Also, how long did it take you to conceive? DS was a surprise so I have no idea what I'm in for when we actually intentionally TTC. I want ANECDOTES
I only have one right now and DD was born 9 days shy of me turning 34. I figured I would be one of those 2 under 2 moms to cram them in before age 35. Then the OB says at my 6 week followup to wait 18 months until trying for #2 because I had a c-section. So I guess I will be AMA. I still have almost a year to go so I should start losing the weight from this last pregnancy so I don't wind up super huge for the next one. Because I will be skinny and cute and pregnant with the next one.
Whenever I see AMA referenced on this board, the first thought in my head is "against medical advice" but then I have to remind myself that is not the AMA we are talking about.
I only have one right now, but I'll be AMA for #2. I have to have blood thinner injections when I'm pregnant so I'm not planning to do the 2-under-2 thing. My body needs the rest more than I need to worry about my age. We will likely start trying for #2 when DS is 16-18 months old. That will place me at 36 at birth, assuming there aren't any hurdles with TTC.
I was 5 months past my 35th birthday when DS was born. Because of my "AMA" I was referred to a perinatologist and saw him 3x during my pregnancy. They wanted to continue to see me, but told me everything was fine with me & the baby, so I just stuck with my OB (who I adore). The perinatologist said the only reason I was seeing him was because I'd be 35 when I delivered. He said it's a line they draw, but being 35 in 2014 isn't the same as being 35 "back in the day ". No one ever seemed too concerned.
We'd love to have a second baby, and hope to start trying once this one is 18-24 months. That part is really more about how broke we are at that point than anything else! If I'm not pregnant again by 38, I don't think we'll continue to try. It took a bit of time to conceive, but I think that was mainly because it took DH a while to get on board with the science of it all. It wasn't easy to get him to understand that TTC was not about spontaneous "in the mood" sex, but more about charting and scheduling.
Post by pierogigirl on Jul 25, 2014 4:48:54 GMT -5
I had DS1 just after I turned 38 and DS2 when I was 40.5 yrs. It took us about 8 months each time to get pg. My second pregnancy was actually much easier than my first. I had pre-e, was on bedrest, and was induced at 38 weeks for DS1. With DS2, I had no complications, went into labor naturally, etc.
Post by changedname on Jul 25, 2014 5:45:35 GMT -5
I had DD 2 days before my 35th birthday but I wasn't classes as ama by my doctor. It took me 18 months and treatments to get pg so I am worried about #2.
We are still on the fence right now but for sure won't start trying u til DD is qt least 1 year.
Post by cricketwife on Jul 25, 2014 6:47:10 GMT -5
I had DS at 36.75. I would like to TTC #2 now but Dh is not quite ready. He is 40, nearly 41. I actually don't think the age is a huge deal for the PG but as we both have ageing parents, it seems beneficial not to wait too long.
I had DD the day before by 37th birthday. My pregnancy was not treated any differently because of my age, even with me having a miscarriage prior to the pregnancy with DD. I was nervous all throughout, but looking back it was a really smooth pregnancy that I wish I had enjoyed more. DD just turned 18 months, and we are not decided on having another. We will make a definite decision by the time DD turns 2, which means 39 for me. We did not have any trouble getting pregnant, and would be praying for similar if we decide to try for another.
I wasn't AMA with DD, but started trying for #2 when I was 36. It took 18 months for me to get pregnant. My kids will now be 6 years apart. I was initially hoping for a 4-ish year gap, but 6 is fine. I never wanted them any closer.
It was highly reco'd that I have 80 million extra tests, scans, etc. during pregnancy for AMA, but that was all during the first 20 weeks. The last 19 weeks have been pretty much the same as a non-AMA pregnancy.
Post by purplecow0206 on Jul 25, 2014 9:17:19 GMT -5
I had just turned 34 with my first, and we'll start TTC when I'm almost 36. I got pregnant almost immediately with A (seriously, first cycle of trying, after being TTA with charting for 5 cycles) and unless something drastic changes in my health, I can't imagine that it'll be that much more difficult to TTC #2, and my OB agrees.
I'd rather not wait too much longer than that, but I do want a bit of a gap for financial reasons as much as health reasons. 1 in DC in the DC area is expensive enough, I'm not sure what we'll do for the second!
Post by thebreakfastclub on Jul 25, 2014 9:27:09 GMT -5
I will also add that I am turning 38 in a couple of weeks. I really don't feel old, or more tired, or like I am too worn out by parenting a young child. I think I feel the same as I did 5 years ago, really.
It did take us 14 months to get pregnant. However, I had an HSG to check my tubes, and the next month, I was pregnant.
I think if you're older, it's just more important to chart/temp/use OPKs or the CBE monitor. That way, if 6 months goes by without a pregnancy, you can be confident that you did ovulate, you had a normal luteal phase and that you had good timing.
I was one year shy if AMA with #1. It took me 2 cycles off BC to conceive each kid. My kids are 22.5 months apart. I like the spacing but I don't know any different. I didn't mind having two in diapers, my first kid potty trained when the second one was 5 months old, so not too much of an overlap.
My kids absolutely adore each other. I think a lot has to do with the age gap. The first was old enough to get that he was her baby brother, but not old enough to be jealous. We also successfully transitioned her to a bed and moved the crib to the baby's room so she really felt like a "big" kid. She was able to go up and down stairs unassisted (this is very helpful...) and get things like a washcloth out of a drawer etc and help me bathe him.
ETA: I wanted to make sure I didn't have 2U2 in daycare due to the big price drop that occurs when the child turns two. That played into our timing.
I had DD the day after my 35th birthday. I'd like about a 2-year age gap between DD and future child, but the thought of the cost of 2 in daycare scares me. Also, we live in a one-bedroom apartment so I can't imagine having a second child while we're still living here. We are currently saving for a down payment for our first home and hoping to buy a home within the next year. I'd probably want to TTC right after that.
Post by matildasun on Jul 25, 2014 10:27:53 GMT -5
I had my first at 36. I got pregnant the first month I charted. I had my second at 39 (38 at conception). I was still nursing. It took us three cycles of charting. I am not sure how accurate the charts were, because I was nursing, and DD still woke up at least once during the night. My kids are exactly (well one day off) 2.5 years apart. I really like their spacing.
Whenever I see AMA referenced on this board, the first thought in my head is "against medical advice" but then I have to remind myself that is not the AMA we are talking about.
I took M to the pediatrician 2 days after he was born. The med student was very concerned when he read Mother AMA on M's chart. "I see you left the hospital early, may I ask why? Was there problem? This could be a problem!" He was rather sheepish when I explained that I didn't leave against medical advice, but was just old.
Post by barefootcontessa on Jul 25, 2014 12:18:55 GMT -5
how AMA are you? there is a big difference between 35 and 40. All of my kids were born after I was 35, including two after age 40. If you are mid-30s and got pregnant without even trying then I would not have a problem with waiting (assuming you only want one or maybe two more kids). I SAH so we do not have daycare costs but the two in diapers thing in not really a big deal. The amount of work with kids does not start to taper off significantly until about age 3.5/4 IME.
I had dd1 at 37.5 and dd2 2wks before I turned 40. I was not treated any differently to anyone else because if my age. There's 2yrs 7mths between them. Got pg fairly quickly with dd1 and very quickly with dd2. I had a mc between them (would have been a 2yr 4mth gap) and got pg straight after waiting for one period after the mc.
I did chose to have nuchal translucency scan on both pregnancies but this was not the norm.
I was 34/35 when TTC DS1 & 38 when TTC DS2. We might have tried for DS2 earlier had DS1 been a better sleeper, but I'm happy with their spacing. Having them 3 years apart has worked well for us.
That said,we conceived both boys easily. If I'd had trouble TTC my first kid we would have moved up TTC #2.
Lurker here, but I had DD1 at 37 and DD2 at 39. They are almost 17 months apart. I was charting with DD1, and DD2 was a surprise pregnancy. The first year was tough, and it's only getting better now. Two toddlers is challenging but now that DD1 is more independent and following direction better, it has been easier (sort of).
I had DD at 35 - but not far from 36, where I am now. We are going to actively start trying when DD is 1 year BUT, we are already having unprotected sex now, and I already had my first PP period. But I have PCOS and fertility issues, and it took a miscarriage and then 3 IUIs to get us pregnant with DD…
So, yeah, I don't know, I guess 'technically' we are already trying - but not really.
Post by curbsideprophet on Jul 25, 2014 21:58:41 GMT -5
I had DD at 33. At that point my midwife still recommended waiting 18 months in between. I had DS at 36. There is a good chance we are done, but I did ask at my 6 week pp appt. My midwife said we have to do what we think is best for us, but she would not be upset if I only waited a year.
As for as actually getting pregnant, with DD we stopped preventing and "tried" for a year. I was charting and some months we tried to time things, other months we did not worry about trying to time anything. We then charted to avoid without any other protection for six months, knowing that if we did get pregnant the timing would not be ideal, but it would be okay. At the end of the time I had my annual exam. The OB I saw said to try for six months and if I was not pregnant by the end of the year, we would start looking into testing in January. I got a BFP on Dec 26th.
With DS I got pregnant the first cycle trying. We only had sex once that cycle, so I was a little surprised at the BFP.
I can't believe I'm actually asking this but if you had DC1 at AMA, how long did you wait between pregnancies? As much as I'm scared about having 2 in diapers/daycare I'm actually more concerned now about waiting too long. Also, how long did it take you to conceive? DS was a surprise so I have no idea what I'm in for when we actually intentionally TTC. I want ANECDOTES
Post by dcrunnergirl52 on Jul 26, 2014 5:36:32 GMT -5
I was 33, almost 34, when I had DD and DS1. It took a little over a but several rounds of IF treatments (we found out early on that I wasn't ovulating).
We started TTC #3 when I was 34. It took over a year and we did 3 rounds of IF treatments. I ended up getting pregnant on my own during a break month. I had DS2 when I was 36.
I wasn't treated any differently due to age other than I was offered the M21 test. My OB said that anything below 40 isn't really AMA, at least not in our area, where most moms tend to be older.
When I had dd1, I was only 32 and the damn hospital put a bracelet on me that said advanced maternal age. They considered anything over 30 to be AMA.
I was 35 and 38 for the other two and no one ever mentioned my age, saw no specialists and had no problems. I also went to a different hospital and no one there mentioned my age either.
First 2 are 2.5 years apart, 3 years between the second two. I think they are good age gaps. 3 years was a bit easier, but frankly my first kid was just really needy and difficult so that might have been what made 2.5 a slightly harder age gap. I never had 2 in diapers, but I have had 2 in daycare except for the one glorious semester when I had dd1 in kinder dd1, one in daycare, and the baby wasn't born yet.