I'm really annoyed with the people who are like "You can't be alone for a minute" when I've been single for 6 months. I don't really count 1 month guy because we saw each other every other weekend for a month. So what's that? 4 days? Okay. Yet other posters are all "I have a date with M tonight and X tomorrow and then I'm going to concert with YZ on Saturday!" If it's not okay for one it shouldn't be okay for any.
And you all could read this and ignore it. It's cool. I know the drill by now.
Eh... you don't count 1 month guy, but ... it still counts.
Honestly, a lot of your posts (most?) talk about men. It's why it seems you can't be alone for a hot second.
I do think that there's a lot of people who can't be alone for a minute or two that aren't called out - but to be fair they don't seem to come with the dramatic up and downs that you do so I think it's glossed over.
This is not a judgey post - just an observation post. Promise.
The only reason I posted this is because I came on here for the first time since Thursday and saw that I was being judged about not being able to be alone, when I said I wasn't going out on a pre-planned date. There's not much going on in the extra time in my life. I work, have my daughter for bed time during the week, and watch a lot of Netflix. School starts back next month. Most of the posts on here are about dating, "starting over" and whatnot. I can't chime in without being chastised. It bothers me. At least I'm open about my life and I have been posting less and less because I know not many people like me. Oh, and PS. This isn't a victim post. I just think it's funny that what's okay for everyone isn't okay for me.
Eh... you don't count 1 month guy, but ... it still counts.
Honestly, a lot of your posts (most?) talk about men. It's why it seems you can't be alone for a hot second.
I do think that there's a lot of people who can't be alone for a minute or two that aren't called out - but to be fair they don't seem to come with the dramatic up and downs that you do so I think it's glossed over.
This is not a judgey post - just an observation post. Promise.
The only reason I posted this is because I came on here for the first time since Thursday and saw that I was being judged about not being able to be alone, when I said I wasn't going out on a pre-planned date. There's not much going on in the extra time in my life. I work, have my daughter for bed time during the week, and watch a lot of Netflix. School starts back next month. Most of the posts on here are about dating, "starting over" and whatnot. I can't chime in without being chastised. It bothers me. At least I'm open about my life and I have been posting less and less because I know not many people like me. Oh, and PS. This isn't a victim post. I just think it's funny that what's okay for everyone isn't okay for me.
Ridiculous and myopic, liu. I'm almost certain that at least two other posters got called out last week for dating too soon or even starting to THINK about dating too soon. One of the reasons you are so frequently called out is that you contradict yourself and it's maddening. How many times did you announce you weren't going to focus on men and focus on yourself and S, only to come back a couple of weeks later with a new story about a new guy? You can't be alone but you're also addicted to drama and the waffling is what makes me want to put my head through a wall.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
The only reason I posted this is because I came on here for the first time since Thursday and saw that I was being judged about not being able to be alone, when I said I wasn't going out on a pre-planned date. There's not much going on in the extra time in my life. I work, have my daughter for bed time during the week, and watch a lot of Netflix. School starts back next month. Most of the posts on here are about dating, "starting over" and whatnot. I can't chime in without being chastised. It bothers me. At least I'm open about my life and I have been posting less and less because I know not many people like me. Oh, and PS. This isn't a victim post. I just think it's funny that what's okay for everyone isn't okay for me.
Ridiculous and myopic, liu. I'm almost certain that at least two other posters got called out last week for dating too soon or even starting to THINK about dating too soon. One of the reasons you are so frequently called out is that you contradict yourself and it's maddening. How many times did you announce you weren't going to focus on men and focus on yourself and S, only to come back a couple of weeks later with a new story about a new guy? You can't be alone but you're also addicted to drama and the waffling is what makes me want to put my head through a wall.
Eh... you don't count 1 month guy, but ... it still counts.
Honestly, a lot of your posts (most?) talk about men. It's why it seems you can't be alone for a hot second.
I do think that there's a lot of people who can't be alone for a minute or two that aren't called out - but to be fair they don't seem to come with the dramatic up and downs that you do so I think it's glossed over.
This is not a judgey post - just an observation post. Promise.
The only reason I posted this is because I came on here for the first time since Thursday and saw that I was being judged about not being able to be alone, when I said I wasn't going out on a pre-planned date. There's not much going on in the extra time in my life. I work, have my daughter for bed time during the week, and watch a lot of Netflix. School starts back next month. Most of the posts on here are about dating, "starting over" and whatnot. I can't chime in without being chastised. It bothers me. At least I'm open about my life and I have been posting less and less because I know not many people like me. Oh, and PS. This isn't a victim post. I just think it's funny that what's okay for everyone isn't okay for me.
You seem to be really disappointed with the feedback you receive from the board. Why do you continue to post here, if that's the case? No snark - just really curious.
From an outsider looking in, it seems you like the attention?
doriswe, is it like little lightning bolts? Might still be a nerve thing, but in your elbow. I had that in my had last year, one of our docs checked me out informally and basically told me I needed to sleep with my arm stretched out. Curling it up was messing with the nerve in my elbow and making it angry--hence lightning bolts and twitches in my ring and pinky fingers.
You should get it checked out.
Nope...it's more like a dull, annoying pain. Sometimes, it hurts for someone to touch my shoulder. Like DS wanted my attention and pulled on it and I was not a happy camper.
Beautiful weather this evening and I'm looking forward to just sitting out on my deck and enjoying it.
Had my annual review at work today and it went really well. It's just unfortunate that are raises aren't tied to our reviews because this one would've given me a nice bump, for sure. I'm even a little excited about my work goals. I actually asked to be allowed to lead individual new hire orientations for people who start after prep week. I hope the rest of the Admin team goes for it!
The only reason I posted this is because I came on here for the first time since Thursday and saw that I was being judged about not being able to be alone, when I said I wasn't going out on a pre-planned date. There's not much going on in the extra time in my life. I work, have my daughter for bed time during the week, and watch a lot of Netflix. School starts back next month. Most of the posts on here are about dating, "starting over" and whatnot. I can't chime in without being chastised. It bothers me. At least I'm open about my life and I have been posting less and less because I know not many people like me. Oh, and PS. This isn't a victim post. I just think it's funny that what's okay for everyone isn't okay for me.
You seem to be really disappointed with the feedback you receive from the board. Why do you continue to post here, if that's the case? No snark - just really curious.
From an outsider looking in, it seems you like the attention?
I don't recognize your sn but maybe you haven't been posting around here a lot. You might not know my back story. I like this board...actually I used to like this board. I've been posting less and less. IRL I don't have many friends or outlets. This was somewhere for me to go to feel safe and express myself. It's not like that anymore and it's my own fault. I'm different than most of the posters and I get flamed for shit that I do. It is what it is. I've been on this board since I was married and that was in 2009. Old habits die hard, I guess. I don't feel "at home" anywhere else. I don't have an outlet to vent at IRL except for my therapist and I only go once a month now. Part of me stays here because I'm resilient and I know most of the other posters don't want me here. I'm not going to be chased away. I'm ignored mostly, anyway, and I'm pretty sure most of the regulars that used to like me blocked me now so they don't read my posts.
You seem to be really disappointed with the feedback you receive from the board. Why do you continue to post here, if that's the case? No snark - just really curious.
From an outsider looking in, it seems you like the attention?
I don't recognize your sn but maybe you haven't been posting around here a lot. You might not know my back story. I like this board...actually I used to like this board. I've been posting less and less. IRL I don't have many friends or outlets. This was somewhere for me to go to feel safe and express myself. It's not like that anymore and it's my own fault. I'm different than most of the posters and I get flamed for shit that I do. It is what it is. I've been on this board since I was married and that was in 2009. Old habits die hard, I guess. I don't feel "at home" anywhere else. I don't have an outlet to vent at IRL except for my therapist and I only go once a month now. Part of me stays here because I'm resilient and I know most of the other posters don't want me here. I'm not going to be chased away. I'm ignored mostly, anyway, and I'm pretty sure most of the regulars that used to like me blocked me now so they don't read my posts.
I'm sorry you don't have IRL support. I hope it all gets better and you find your groove once you return to school.
And I appreciate you responding to me. I post on here, ML, and S&B.
Post by riverpestie on Jul 28, 2014 16:37:13 GMT -5
This happened on Friday, but I don't post on the weekends. I just wanted to say that... for the first time in my life I scored a soccer goal! Not only did I score it, but I HEADED it into the goal!!! I was awesome. This guy on my team told me he had never witnessed a header into the goal IRL until that moment! Even the other team came up to me and told me how awesome it looked!!!! I was so pumped!!!
I'm really annoyed with the people who are like "You can't be alone for a minute" when I've been single for 6 months. I don't really count 1 month guy because we saw each other every other weekend for a month. So what's that? 4 days? Okay. Yet other posters are all "I have a date with M tonight and X tomorrow and then I'm going to concert with YZ on Saturday!" If it's not okay for one it shouldn't be okay for any.
And you all could read this and ignore it. It's cool. I know the drill by now.
WHAT? That makes absolutely no fucking sense. No one's situation is the same and no one's timeline is the same. And if you can't see this, well, you've partially answered your own question.
You have issues. You know this. We know this. You need to WORK ON THEM before you worry about dudes AT ALL. Not: single, but dating, but not seriously, but kinda, but no, but yes. JUST NO. You have too many things going on in your life to be worrying about ANYONE but yourself and your DD.
And the fact that you come here and talk about nothing EXCEPT the two extremes (I'm going to stay single/I've been dating, but it's totes casual) PROVES to anyone who reads that a significant portion of your brain power is STILL being wasted on men.
When the board suggests that you stay single, we mean SINGLE. Not dating. Full stop.
I'm really annoyed with the people who are like "You can't be alone for a minute" when I've been single for 6 months. I don't really count 1 month guy because we saw each other every other weekend for a month. So what's that? 4 days? Okay. Yet other posters are all "I have a date with M tonight and X tomorrow and then I'm going to concert with YZ on Saturday!" If it's not okay for one it shouldn't be okay for any.
And you all could read this and ignore it. It's cool. I know the drill by now.
WHAT? That makes absolutely no fucking sense. No one's situation is the same and no one's timeline is the same. And if you can't see this, well, you've partially answered your own question.
You have issues. You know this. We know this. You need to WORK ON THEM before you worry about dudes AT ALL. Not: single, but dating, but not seriously, but kinda, but no, but yes. JUST NO. You have too many things going on in your life to be worrying about ANYONE but yourself and your DD.
And the fact that you come here and talk about nothing EXCEPT the two extremes (I'm going to stay single/I've been dating, but it's totes casual) PROVES to anyone who reads that a significant portion of your brain power is STILL being wasted on men.
When the board suggests that you stay single, we mean SINGLE. Not dating. Full stop.
I'm actually pretty surprised that more people weren't "holy crap, bad idea" about the cheating update post. And I realize I'm super duper paranoid, but why didn't OP do any background checking prior to the blow up? I don't understand why people aren't more cautious about who they let into their spaces.
Lol! He asked if we "could go around". Did I just prove that I'm old?
I have never heard it referred to as "go around" and I think we're the same age. I'd probably be like go around where....? if someone asked me that, lol.
Lol! He asked if we "could go around". Did I just prove that I'm old?
I have never heard it referred to as "go around" and I think we're the same age. I'd probably be like go around where....? if someone asked me that, lol.
So, how do you feel about that?
LOL! "go around" was from my middle school days.
I'm open to the idea, but I want to talk to him more about it to make sure we are on the same page.
DDs have been annoying each other since I picked them up and it was getting on my nerves. On the way home from Walmart I told them if either one of them so much as looked at the other wrong then they would skip their bedtime snack and go straight to bed when we got home.
So what happened you ask? Yep, they started up again so I told them (ok, sort of yelled) that their snack was gone and straight to bed they are to go. DD1 started crying and calling for "daddy" as soon as we walked in the house. I told her daddy would do the same thing and that bad behavior doesn't get rewarded. But damn, that hurts the heart.
I hate dating. Hate, hate, hate it. My last relationship was with the love of my life who I've known for more than half my life and who knew all my flaws and deep dark secrets but loved me anyway. How the hell am I supposed to move on to a total stranger that sees me as a piece of ass? And they all do. And more time won't matter. It's been long enough. FML. I just keep pushing them away. I'm gonna die single and celibate because I keep pushing them away. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to have causal sex and feel like shit but I don't want to attempt to recreate what can never be recreated. F M L
I hate dating. Hate, hate, hate it. My last relationship was with the love of my life who I've known for more than half my life and who knew all my flaws and deep dark secrets but loved me anyway. How the hell am I supposed to move on to a total stranger that sees me as a piece of ass? And they all do. And more time won't matter. It's been long enough. FML. I just keep pushing them away. I'm gonna die single and celibate because I keep pushing them away. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to have causal sex and feel like shit but I don't want to attempt to recreate what can never be recreated. F M L
there's no need to rush into dating. Take time to heal and be single. If I remember your OP, you've pretty much been in one relationship after another you're whole adult life.
I hate dating. Hate, hate, hate it. My last relationship was with the love of my life who I've known for more than half my life and who knew all my flaws and deep dark secrets but loved me anyway. How the hell am I supposed to move on to a total stranger that sees me as a piece of ass? And they all do. And more time won't matter. It's been long enough. FML. I just keep pushing them away. I'm gonna die single and celibate because I keep pushing them away. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to have causal sex and feel like shit but I don't want to attempt to recreate what can never be recreated. F M L
It's time to rebuild yourself. Date yourself. Focus on learning who YOU are for a while.
there's no need to rush into dating. Take time to heal and be single. If I remember your OP, you've pretty much been in one relationship after another you're whole adult life.
I hate dating. Hate, hate, hate it. My last relationship was with the love of my life who I've known for more than half my life and who knew all my flaws and deep dark secrets but loved me anyway. How the hell am I supposed to move on to a total stranger that sees me as a piece of ass? And they all do. And more time won't matter. It's been long enough. FML. I just keep pushing them away. I'm gonna die single and celibate because I keep pushing them away. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to have causal sex and feel like shit but I don't want to attempt to recreate what can never be recreated. F M L
It's time to rebuild yourself. Date yourself. Focus on learning who YOU are for a while.
It probably sounds that way. But actually I've been alone my whole life. The relationships were blips on my radar of being single, and I've been officially alone for a solid year. My "marriage" was two people living as sexless roommates for about six years on top of that. I did the "focusing on myself" thing already. I have a career, I got fit, healthy, bought my own place, have gone to therapy and haven't relied on anyone. I have however isolated myself from everyone with my loneliness and have been coming home to an empty house and going to sleep in an empty bed for a year solid, at least two years with a few breaks for short relationships (2-3 months) and the rest of the time "healing and working on myself" and most of my marriage on separate schedules, doing everything alone, and being "married" in name only. I'm at the point I need to start dating or I have to accept my debilitating, crushing loneliness. That's what my therapy is currently about...moving on and not being so afraid I continue to push everyone away.
My entire issue is that I won't give anyone a chance. If anyone seems like they might be more than friends I sabotage it. I can't handle being vulnerable.
My entire issue is that I won't give anyone a chance. If anyone seems like they might be more than friends I sabotage it. I can't handle being vulnerable.
My entire issue is that I won't give anyone a chance. If anyone seems like they might be more than friends I sabotage it. I can't handle being vulnerable.
I can relate, a bit. Are you in therapy? I work A LOT with my therapist on accepting my vulnerabilities and keeping my walls down.
It probably sounds that way. But actually I've been alone my whole life. The relationships were blips on my radar of being single, and I've been officially alone for a solid year. My "marriage" was two people living as sexless roommates for about six years on top of that. I did the "focusing on myself" thing already. I have a career, I got fit, healthy, bought my own place, have gone to therapy and haven't relied on anyone. I have however isolated myself from everyone with my loneliness and have been coming home to an empty house and going to sleep in an empty bed for a year solid, at least two years with a few breaks for short relationships (2-3 months) and the rest of the time "healing and working on myself" and most of my marriage on separate schedules, doing everything alone, and being "married" in name only. I'm at the point I need to start dating or I have to accept my debilitating, crushing loneliness. That's what my therapy is currently about...moving on and not being so afraid I continue to push everyone away.
I know it seems like dating is the answer to your loneliness, but maybe it would be better work on being okay by yourself, without a relationship. I know it's hard - that's what I am currently working on with my therapist, but I think it will be really important that I do this in the long run.
Don't use a relationship to fill the void - try to find hobbies, new friends, new adventures to fill your time. There aren't just two options (dating or loneliness) - you can learn to be by yourself with out feeling lonely.
moonlight I've been single for four years with the except of a few month relationship. Feeling crushing loneliness definitely means you still have things to work out in your life. I have a great life that's fulfilling with friends and family. I would like to date someone, but not dating someone doesn't doom me to a super sad lonely life.