I need to ramble a bit (sad and trigger warning)

[amberlyrose]

I don't know where to put this, so you can totally ignore me trying to get this out. 


We're visiting my parents this week and my hometown is about 3 hours away. I haven't seen my extended family in a while, so DH, mom, and I drove down for a day trip. It's a 2 lane highway and almost nothing for 2 hours of the trip. 
On the way there, it was nice. DH drove. We saw my grandparents and they're both getting old and it makes me sad. They aren't the same as I remember them, so we left feeling a bit down. 

On our way back, we kept getting people flashing lights at us, and my mom joked that there must be a phantom cop up the road. There was a ton of traffic, which is really weird for that stretch of road. Mom noticed a few cars on the side of the road and traffic came to a stop. There were two cars in the middle of the road and we had to drive off the road to get around, with an off duty cop directing us. Poor girl had a cast on, so you could tell she just happened to be in the area. (here is where it gets sad) We were driving around and there was a young guy hanging out of the car. He wasn't covered and had pillows around him, so I was hoping they were just stabilizing him. It was a terrible sight to see. We had to drive really slow and I saw his face and the injuries. The cars. The look on the responders' faces. I really wanted to cry and stop driving, but I didn't want to make my mom even more nervous. I looked in the rear view and DH looked like he was going to cry. Driving the next two hours was really hard. I was super concentrating but I just couldn't get the poor guy's image out of my head. 
We got home and DH made me take the dogs for a walk to relax. We came back and dad poured us each a scotch. I couldn't calm down. I feel so terrible for the guy and his family. I already hated that stretch of highway because I've seen so many accidents, but nothing like that. The news this morning reported that the kid was 19 and passed away. So, I know he probably had passed when we saw him and I was just trying to justify in my head that he was being stabilized. I can't shake this anxious feeling, so much so that I really didn't want my parents to drive to work today. I hate that they drive that highway once a month. I really just want to hold my family right now. I don't want to make the 9 hour drive back to Colorado later this week. 
I just keep praying for his family. They must be feeling like hell right now. 

[sandytoes]

I'm so sorry..that is traumatic to witness. That poor kid and his family. My sister witnessed a horrific accident scene and it took her some time to get over it. Keep praying and try to do something to take your mind off of it. Hugs to you.

[zoomzoom]

I get exactly how you're feeling (witnessed a man who had jumped from a building and was lying on the ground, dead). Witnessing stuff like that makes you want to hug your loved ones that much more. {{hugs}}

[cinnamoncox]

Omg that's horrible I'm so sorry you saw that. How traumatic.
Poor kid and his family, wow.
Take care of yourself ok, it's a tough thing to see.

[karmasabiotch]

How awful for him and his family and for you to see. Give yourself a set amount of time to think about it, making it less each day. Replace that time with happier thoughts.

It would be hard to forget that. I'm sorry. Hugs..

[fivechickens]

That poor boy's family. :-(

I am sorry that you had to see that.

I came up on an accident and saw a guy pinned between his truck. I later found out he was dead at the scene. It took a while for me not to picture the scene everytime i closed my eyes and I still think about it from time to time.

[8675309]

Oh man, I am sorry!

It's been 9 years since I witnessed a woman's SUV roll over on the highway. I remember seeing the horror on her face behind the windshield as the car continued to roll. I don't know HOW I was able to see what I saw and finding out she died did a HUGE number on me. Her face is trapped in my memory forever. It was on Thanksgiving day so it makes it even worse imaging what her family went through that day.

[hereigo]

[amberlyrose]

Thank you guys for talking me through this and giving some words of wisdom. I like the idea of planting something in memory. I could see how that could be healing.

[Deleted]

I second doing some sort of send off or sending a card to the family. I've seen lots of death and it never leaves you ever. Sorry you had to witness that.

[zzuvet]

I'm sorry. Almost 7 years after my first traumatic call as an EMT and I can still recall every detail and feeling from that moment. I only had my EMT license for a few weeks and hadnt been in a situation like that before. I thought I was going to a simple gun shot wound call but it turned out to be a man who shot his pregnant wife in the face and was holding their young son hostage. Due to a miscommunication between the police and dispatch I got oit of the ambulance and turned around to the gun pointed at me. When we were cleared to return to get the woman it was and still is the most painful and haunting thing I have seen. I drive by the location fairly regularly.

I often think about her and her poor baby on the anniversary of the event. I always try to cover a fatal patient if they are visible, I always worried the family might happen to be driving by.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry, what a horrible experience. I witnessed a death on the highway when I was in my teens and I will still think of it sometimes.

Also, this morning I was watching the news and a truck got into an accident in an intersection and plowed into three people. The news chopper zoomed in just in time to get the fire fighter pulling the dead guy out from under the truck. Thanks KTLA. That is exactly how I wanted to start my day. 

[joshlyman]

I am so so sorry

I know how that anxiety can eat you up. I witnessed a horrible motorcycle accident about 5 years ago (actually watched the two passengers fly though the air). I STILL get nervous when motorcycles pass or drive near me, although it's much better now. I am sure your anxiety will wane, but be kind to yourself right now ((hugs))

[zoomzoom]

Jul 28, 2014 15:09:38 GMT -5 luckydog said:

Jul 28, 2014 11:25:23 GMT -5 zoomzoom said:

I get exactly how you're feeling (witnessed a man who had jumped from a building and was lying on the ground, dead). Witnessing stuff like that makes you want to hug your loved ones that much more. {{hugs}}

I've seen this too. It was in view of my window at work so I saw everything--the people, the investigation, the clean up. My h and parents were all out of town, and I felt so alone. Now though, it's a permanent memory but I don't feel so bad anymore.

We were walking from a movie to a restaurant.  It had JUST happened.  He had jumped from the top floor of a parking garage.  Like, three or four of us whipped out cell phones and called 911.  It was horrifying.  It still makes me kind of sick to my stomach.  Not to sound douchey, but I was grateful that he was face down.  OMG.

[amberlyrose]

omg to some of these!!
Part of me wonders if he may have survived if the first people on scene had at least a little bit of medical training. I hate all the "what ifs" in my head.

[joshlyman]

Jul 28, 2014 15:50:16 GMT -5 zoomzoom said:

Jul 28, 2014 15:09:38 GMT -5 luckydog said:

I've seen this too. It was in view of my window at work so I saw everything--the people, the investigation, the clean up. My h and parents were all out of town, and I felt so alone. Now though, it's a permanent memory but I don't feel so bad anymore.

We were walking from a movie to a restaurant.  It had JUST happened.  He had jumped from the top floor of a parking garage.  Like, three or four of us whipped out cell phones and called 911.  It was horrifying.  It still makes me kind of sick to my stomach.  Not to sound douchey, but I was grateful that he was face down.  OMG.

God that's awful

I witnessed a suicide by cop outside of our old building at work. We heard shots being fired and ran to the window (not smart in retrospect, obviously) and watched the guy get shot by the police. New said he had runs red light, pursuit followed, then he pulled over and starting shooting at the cops. He had no warrants or anything, so it was pretty obvious he wanted to be killed

[cc]

I was a juror on a case where there was a death about 10 years ago and I had a hard time getting the picture of the victims body out of my head. I wish there was some way for me to see a picture of her when she was alive because I feel like I wouldn't feel so haunted.