Can I Jump In?

[sunnysideup488]

I'll introduce myself. I post fairly regularly on MM. =)

I'm married and the mom to three girls. A, E and C. A is 4, E is 2 and C is barely a week old. A and E came to us early this year. They are my cousins daughters. We will be adopting them. C was a surprise baby. I got the call on Friday that my girls had a sister and that they wanted us to take her. We did, and now we are a crazy family of 5.

We also have 3 kittens.

Instead of posting a second post, I'll ask my question in here. C hates the nanny. She screams at the top of her lungs, like she is in pain anytime the nanny picks her up. I know it has only been one day, and I should give it time, but I am concerned. I only have 4 weeks that I am able to take. I will come back to work part time for a couple of weeks after that.

The nurses said she hated being held. She loves when H or I hold her. But seems to hate the rest of the world. Any thoughts?

On top of that. Feel free to ask me anything. =)

[Yankees21]

I don't really have any advice, other than hopefully C will just get used to the nanny in time. What an amazing story though! You and your H are wonderful.

[cricketwife]

Welcome! Congrats on your growing family!

[Deleted]

Welcome! As for C, hopefully she just needs to get to know and trust the nanny a little better.

[sunnysideup488]

Jul 28, 2014 11:37:16 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Welcome! As for C, hopefully she just needs to get to know and trust the nanny a little better.

This is what I am hoping. I'm glad she wasn't uncomfortable with us. Because her screams are scary. I didn't think tiny babies could scream so loud. Or cared about who held them so much.

But... I have never had a baby.

[waterchurch]

Welcome! I loved your thread on MM. Such a great story.

[gibbinator]

Welcome :-) I think it will just take time to get used to the nanny. I'm assuming you haven't noticed any difference in the way you hold her vs everyone else.

Newborns do have a sense of smell for mom and dad, so you could ask the nanny to drape a t-shirt you've worn on her shoulder when she holds the baby and see if that helps. Or wash a burp cloth in your shampoo.

I guess you just have to take it as a compliment that C loves you and your dh from day one.

[cincodemayo]

Is she screaming because she has a tummy ache or something, and it's just a coincidence that she screams when the nanny holds her?

[Deleted]

Hi! Congratulations on your growing family!!! How exciting

Give the nanny another day or so before worrying about it. Also if you are right near her and she can still smell you, she will probably continue to cry because she would prefer you. Another possibility is if the nanny wears perfume or if her clothes are washed in a heavily scented soap, some babies are really sensitive to smell.

[sunnysideup488]

gibbinator I will try that out. That's a good idea8!

cincodemayo I suppose that is a possibility as well. I may ask her doctor when I talk to him today.

[pippa]

Congrats! I followed your posts on MM.

Does she calm down immediately when you hold her? It might be that she's comfortable with you and she will get that way with the nanny too. What about swaddling or having the nanny wear her if C tolerates that.

[cincodemayo]

Also, huge congrats. New babies are so precious and innocent.

[AlpineSlide]

Welcome and congrats on the kiddos! Adoptive parents are amazing to me!

[Deleted]

Welcome and congrats on your growing family! I think it will just take some time for C to get comfortable with thr nanny.

[sunnysideup488]

peggy

Yeah!



Don't mind my toes in the bottom picture. =)

[mellymel]

Welcome, and congrats again. I've been following your posts on MM from this weekend!

No advice on the nanny other than to give it some time.

[sunnysideup488]

Jul 28, 2014 11:50:05 GMT -5 pippa said:

Congrats! I followed your posts on MM.

Does she calm down immediately when you hold her? It might be that she's comfortable with you and she will get that way with the nanny too. What about swaddling or having the nanny wear her if C tolerates that.

She is almost instantly calm when I take her. I may have her try to wear her. I've been using one of the wraps to wear her, so that might smell like me and help her calm.

The nanny also does where a perfume that is a little strong . Maybe C doesn't like it. I didn't think of that.

[gibbinator]

Oh yeah if she wears a perfume it could definitely be part of the problem too. Newborns are so sensitive to stimulants.

[justjen]

Welcome! I told your story at least twice over the past several days!!

I agree that time will be the best help with the nanny.

As for the "ask me anything" part--were you actively seeking to have children when this all came up (the first time), or was this all a surprise?

Congrats on your newest addition

[humpforfree]

Jul 28, 2014 11:58:03 GMT -5 sunnysideup488 said:

Jul 28, 2014 11:50:05 GMT -5 pippa said:

Congrats! I followed your posts on MM.

Does she calm down immediately when you hold her? It might be that she's comfortable with you and she will get that way with the nanny too. What about swaddling or having the nanny wear her if C tolerates that.

She is almost instantly calm when I take her. I may have her try to wear her. I've been using one of the wraps to wear her, so that might smell like me and help her calm.

The nanny also does where a perfume that is a little strong . Maybe C doesn't like it. I didn't think of that.

Yeah I was going to suggest having the nanny wear her also- maybe being in a different position would be reassuring.

Congratulations!

[drloretta]

Congrats!

I agree, just have the nanny keep at it and hopefully things will settle down.

Does C like the swaddle?

[kdubs923]

Congrats! I followed your story on MM and it made me tear up. You're doing an amazing thing!

You've gotten a lot of great suggestions, I agree a burp cloth or something that smells like you would probably help. Little C has gone through a lot in her little life. I would think just some time to adjust will help!

[loskadoodle]

Congrats and welcome, you are a great woman for taking in these children and they are lucky to have you and your H in their lives!

[Deleted]

Welcome! Congrats on your new addition!

[jenn248]

Welcome to the board and congrats again!

As the others ladies have said, I'd try having the nanny use the wrap or something else that smells like you, as well as (politely) asking her to lay off the perfume. If you're uncomfortable asking her to do that, maybe play it off as a suggestion from the doctor since you're talking to him/her anyway?

And yes, it is amazing how such tiny little lungs can produce such ear piercing shrieks, isn't it?

ETA - it could also be, as someone else suggested, that she doesn't want the nanny if you are around.  I remember when I was reading up on transitioning from breastfeeding to bottlefeeding that the mother should leave the room or house and let someone else give the baby a bottle, because the baby will know if mom and her milk are nearby.  If you're already comfortable with the nanny, maybe try leaving the house for a short amount of time and seeing if she calms down when you're not around?

[sunnysideup488]

Jul 28, 2014 12:06:11 GMT -5 justjen said:

Welcome! I told your story at least twice over the past several days!!

I agree that time will be the best help with the nanny.

As for the "ask me anything" part--were you actively seeking to have children when this all came up (the first time), or was this all a surprise?

Congrats on your newest addition

We knew we would eventually adopt. Doctors say I can't have children of my own, so adoption was always our plan. (I wanted to adopt, even before I knew I couldn't have kids) We were not looking to adopt quite so quickly.

I had told family that we would take the girls if it ever came to it. They spent a lot of time with us. Their mom would drop them off and disappear for long periods of time. I hated seeing the life they were in.

It took a long time for CPS to finally step in. The girls were in temporary care for a very short time after being removed from their home, and we were the first call for a permanent foster placement. There is no chance of returning to their mom. So, we are in the waiting period before the adoption can be finalized.

I wouldn't change a thing. =)

[Velar Fricative]

Congratulations, what an exciting 2014 you've had so far!

[mcfelix]

Welcome and congratulations on your new addition! Good luck getting her acclimated to the nanny. I hope it happens quickly for everyone!

[sunnysideup488]

Jul 28, 2014 12:11:54 GMT -5 drloretta said:

Congrats!

I agree, just have the nanny keep at it and hopefully things will settle down.

Does C like the swaddle?

She likes being swaddled for a few minutes. She is an escape artist and works her way out of it.

[djc315]

Welcome & congratulations! You & your husband are wonderful people!