I would be annoyed that he put the kid to bed without your imput, especially if you are the one who typically does the middle of the night routine. With sleep deprivation and the rest of the stress that goes with having a baby, I really clang to the routine and would be upset if someone unilaterally changed it. Granted it's not the end of the world and maybe it will work out really well, but I think it would have been nice to have the opportunity to decide together.
I really don't think the OP needs to undercut her husband's parenting unless she plans to be complaining in a few months about how he never does anything. Getting on the "he doesn't do it right" train is how you end up doing it all.
Communication is good. Being on the same page is good. Accusing each other of doing it wrong is suicide.
I don't think either of you is right or wrong. The problem is your both adjusting and probably both tired. I look back at that time and think about how exhausted I was and how practically everything would annoy me if it was outside of how I pictured things going. I tried to do it all...and I know you are nursing, but could you pump and sleep in the guest room one night so you can get at least a 6 hour stretch of sleep? It does wonders! Also, I don't know what chores you were doing, but it will be ok if the laundry piles up or the bed isn't made. Try to get some downtime--its important for your well being. I promise the baby won't be permanently scarred.
I vaguely recall that every hour of sleep before midnight for a small baby is worth 2 hours of sleep after midnight. Does anyone else know what I am talking about?
When DD was that little, I put her to bed super early. She got her longest stretch of sleep between about 6:30 or 7pm and midnight, and so did I. Eventually, she would spend less time awake during the night wakings until she was sleeping a solid 7pm-ish to 5am-ish chunk. Completely anecdotal, I know, but I just tried to get my longest stretch when she got her longest stretch. And there were no playful or "productive" activities like baths that happened when she woke at night.
He's only 5 weeks. Not really old enough for a "real" schedule. I just know that first stretch of sleep is the only time all day he will sleep 4 hours, and by 7 am he is normally up for the day and has a very different eating/awake pattern. Maybe I am reading into his schedule more than it actually exists.
Ok, so he's a little young to start a schedule, but if he is tired and falling asleep at 7:30, I think you should roll with it. Keeping babies up when they are tired is no bueno. Even if he has one more wake up than normal by putting him down earlier, he will likely still get more overall night sleep, which is good for you and him. In most cases, sleep begets sleep.
And you can do "sleep feeding" - you can put the baby to breast/bottle and they will nurse without waking up. Then, they keep sleeping because they are not hungry.
I did not believe my aunt when she told me about this. It was like a little miracle every time it worked. Baby would fall asleep around 8 and then I would sleep feed at 10 with I went to sleep - and she'd be okay for a few hours.
I vaguely recall that every hour of sleep before midnight for a small baby is worth 2 hours of sleep after midnight. Does anyone else know what I am talking about?
I've heard this too, and that it applies to adults as well.
I can't imagine trying to keep a 5 week old up for three hours. I'm firmly in the camp of sleep begets sleep & meeting newborns sleep whenever they want.
One thing that we found was that sleep creates sleep. In the early days we tried once to keep Z awake for much of the day thinking that that would make him super tired and sleep better at night. It didn't work. Once he started sleeping more during the day he slept better at night. Those first weeks are crazy. I think if it works then do it. I hope you all got some sleep last night!