Can I talk? I'm on the verge of drowning.

[lsea0323]

H has been gone 22 out of the past 24 months.  He will be back soon.  But in the meantime, I am moving, enrolling kids in school, interviewing for jobs, and still trying to maintain normality around here for the kids and I since I stay at home.  I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water.  Just managing a move on my own while also coordinating 3 kids' schedules is making me wish I could call it in.  But I can't.  I have to do this and I will do this.  I'm just so so tired.  And so over having all this weight on my shoulders.  

[So_Fetch]

::Hugs:: you're a tough cookie.

[Captain Serious]

That is a ton. It's no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Is there anyone who could help you out a bit? Even if it's just to take the kids to a movie or for lunch so you could have just a little respite?

[motzie]

Holy crap that is a lot of pressure. I'm so sorry. Anything you can cut from the kids schedule to lighten the load a bit? It's ok to say it's too much. They won't suffer for it, even if they pout temporarily.

[gogadgetgo]

Hugs. That's so much. I hope you can take some time for yourself. Easier said than done but I think your sanity needs it

[sparkythelawyer]

Breathe, put one foot in front of the other. Everything else is gravy. You'll get through it!

[1confused1]

Hang in there lady!!!

I don't know your situation but I'm a full time mom so if you need to vent, pm me

[sonrisa]

can your ex take the big kids for a week so you have a little less to balance?

[lsea0323]

Thanks everyone. I don't feel strong right now. I feel like I've maxed out on what I can handle. I'm trying. I know it's almost over. But I am crushingly overwhelmed and it sucks.

I know in a few weeks it will be better. I know. I am literally digging into any reserve I have to get to where I need to be. I am struggling. Hard.

[lsea0323]

Jul 29, 2014 23:36:27 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

can your ex take the big kids for a week so you have a little less to balance?

He is taking them to his parents during moving week. 

[lsea0323]

Jul 29, 2014 23:41:37 GMT -5 lsea0323 said:

Jul 29, 2014 23:36:27 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

can your ex take the big kids for a week so you have a little less to balance?

He is taking them to his parents during moving week. 

Although I just found this out today.... Procrastination was always one of his strong suits. Lol.  

[1confused1]

Jul 29, 2014 23:40:02 GMT -5 lsea0323 said:

Thanks everyone. I don't feel strong right now. I feel like I've maxed out on what I can handle. I'm trying. I know it's almost over. But I am crushingly overwhelmed and it sucks.

I know in a few weeks it will be better. I know. I am literally digging into any reserve I have to get to where I need to be. I am struggling. Hard.

Honestly I think the "light at the end of the tunnel" is the hardest. You know you're on the verge of getting a break but it's not quite there yet

[lsea0323]

Jul 29, 2014 23:22:40 GMT -5 tators said:

Lsea, like I said In the other post, I have been thinking of you. Take at least five minutes for yourself everyday. I know that sounds so cheesy, but do it. It should probably be more like 15 minutes.

You are so strong and handle this all with such grace. Big huge hugs. Is there anything we can do from afar? Too bad you didn't end up in Mt. Home:)

I wanted to! Boise seems so nice!!! Now I'm in BFE Georgia.  

[lsea0323]

Jul 29, 2014 23:47:53 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Another thing I did that helped?

I used events or planned little things for myself and used those as checkpoints for the countdown. Hair appointments, nail appointments, things like that. I consistently got my hair done back then, so it was "[x number] of hair appointments until H is home!" It allowed me to treat myself and served as a great countdown. 5 appointments is much better than 60 days. You can use paydays, too.

I love you for suggesting these things, and I know you've gone through just as much... But I have to plan them around childcare for the kids, so it's just not as easy  

[lsea0323]

Jul 30, 2014 0:10:14 GMT -5 pagas said:

Do you have any one who can help out? Take some time for yourself to reset, if possible.

I just found out that my BFF here is going to keep the baby during the moving process.  So that is a huge weight knowing that he will be taken care of, and I'll be able to handle it without a 1 year old underfoot.  

[justkly]

I'm sorry, Lsea. It is hard and I can only imagine what it would be like with 3 children added to the mix. Do you have local support or use military resources to get a break for yourself every once in awhile?

Oops.  Asked and answered.  Hugs.

[thejen626]

My DH broke his leg in the middle of us moving. We had a drama-filled sale of our house, crazy buyer requests, DH had surgery on Mar 12th, we closed on Mar 18th and moved on Mar 20th. It was insane and I lost my fucking mind for 2 months straight. I was literally bugeyed for months because I was so stressed.

Can you get a babysitter so you can go to a movie alone and just veg out? Can your friends help you? I hosted a packing party and my amazing friends packed up about 60% of my house, it was wonderful and so helpful.

Remember "this too shall pass".

[lsea0323]

Ok, a flammable thing within a post..... I'm not even excited about H coming home. I resent his tour in Korea (which I know was beyond his control). He has had regular pool nights, bowling nights, and has literally had one year of uninterrupted sleep. I have not slept more than 4 hours straight at one time. And have kept our finances here in order. I miss him. I can't wAit to see him. But I am so resentful of this past year. I know I'm About to get flamed like crazy. Just take it easy on me when you tell me you feel bad for him because he had to serve overseas.

[lsea0323]

Jul 30, 2014 0:23:51 GMT -5 thejen626 said:

My DH broke his leg in the middle of us moving. We had a drama-filled sale of our house, crazy buyer requests, DH had surgery on Mar 12th, we closed on Mar 18th and moved on Mar 20th. It was insane and I lost my fucking mind for 2 months straight. I was literally bugeyed for months because I was so stressed.

Can you get a babysitter so you can go to a movie alone and just veg out? Can your friends help you? I hosted a packing party and my amazing friends packed up about 60% of my house, it was wonderful and so helpful.

Remember "this too shall pass".

Did you have movers or was it just your friends that came through and moved you?

[thejen626]

Jul 30, 2014 0:33:26 GMT -5 lsea0323 said:

Jul 30, 2014 0:23:51 GMT -5 thejen626 said:

My DH broke his leg in the middle of us moving. We had a drama-filled sale of our house, crazy buyer requests, DH had surgery on Mar 12th, we closed on Mar 18th and moved on Mar 20th. It was insane and I lost my fucking mind for 2 months straight. I was literally bugeyed for months because I was so stressed.

Can you get a babysitter so you can go to a movie alone and just veg out? Can your friends help you? I hosted a packing party and my amazing friends packed up about 60% of my house, it was wonderful and so helpful.

Remember "this too shall pass".

Did you have movers or was it just your friends that came through and moved you?

I hired movers for the actual day of to physically move from the old house to the new house. It's only 20 minutes away and it took them 10 hours. Filled up the huge truck twice. We have so much crap

But the Saturday before, I had a packing party. Invited my close girlfriends, some of them brought their husbands, I got 3 Costco pizzas, sodas, and wine/beer. They packed so much and put all the boxes in the garage. I never would have survived without them. I highly suggest you reach out to your friends, I'm sure they would be happy to help you!

And re: resenting him...seriously, put a "moms night off" on the calendar, one night a month (or however often you need it!) and leave the house without the kids. You've earned it and you deserve it. And don't let him give you any grief about it either.

[awick14]

((Hugs)) just take each day one day at a time.

[ZoeHart]

Do you have someone who can watch the kids for an afternoon so you can take some time for yourself to recharge? Go get a manicure or just a nice long nap?
You are so awesome for doing all this by yourself. You can do it!

[woodiedog]

NPR did an interview w/ this author who just wrote a book about being a mom and wife of an Army soldier. She was honest about the resentment and anger at times. She sounds like you!

She also said that her husband expected her to keep the kids in activities (sports) while he was gone. She couldn't physically coordinate all the schedules herself, so she told her husband that the kids were missing their after school sports - she was drawing the line.


www.npr.org/2014/07/15/331699617/an-army-wife-charts-her-struggles-in-no-mans-war

[lizrd7579]

((hugs)) I think you need to see if you have any friends who are willing to come over for a little bit each week. Even for just an hour or two so that you can sleep, clean, pack, go run errands, whatever your heart desires. Or do you have someone that could be a Mother's Helper to come over a few afternoons a week?

I would be totally resentful, too. No flames here!

[hereigo]

NO flames here! That actually seems quite normal.

One day at time, you can do this!