TMI question for the single and loving it girls

[gozf]

Jul 31, 2014 7:19:06 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jul 31, 2014 0:27:01 GMT -5 gozf said:

No one can make you happy but you. And if you're not in a good place, your relationships are far less likely to be fulfilling.

As my personal savior Rupaul says, "if you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?"

Alone doesn't mean lonely. Work on yourself and find other outlets. Make friends, cultivate hobbies. Stop wallowing.

People aren't jumping down your throat, they're looking out for your best interest. No need to get defensive.

I love that you quoted Rupaul!!

Rupaul is probably the smartest person in the world! I often wonder, "what would Ru do?"

[doriswe]

Jul 31, 2014 9:45:02 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jul 31, 2014 7:19:06 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I love that you quoted Rupaul!!

Rupaul is probably the smartest person in the world! I often wonder, "what would Ru do?"

I wish I had more Rupaul in my life, for realz. 

[gozf]

Jul 31, 2014 9:46:40 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jul 31, 2014 9:45:02 GMT -5 gozf said:

Rupaul is probably the smartest person in the world! I often wonder, "what would Ru do?"

I wish I had more Rupaul in my life, for realz. 

I want to be rupaul's bestie.

[doriswe]

Jul 31, 2014 10:00:04 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jul 31, 2014 9:46:40 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I wish I had more Rupaul in my life, for realz. 

I want to be rupaul's bestie.

Think how fabulous that would be!!

[moonlight]

Honestly, and I'm not saying this to be snarky, but I am sorry I shared here.

Life is much more complex than what I can sum up in a few words here.

Thanks for the suggestions, I know they are said with good intentions.

[moonlight]

Aug 2, 2014 17:46:17 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Aug 1, 2014 19:11:43 GMT -5 moonlight said:

Honestly, and I'm not saying this to be snarky, but I am sorry I shared here.

Life is much more complex than what I can sum up in a few words here.

Thanks for the suggestions, I know they are said with good intentions.

Without snark- what would you have hoped to hear? What would you tell a friend in a similar situation?

If it was a friend we would share all the dirty details, and they make a difference. Like I said it's not simple, and trying to simplify it here was a mistake. I'll keep it for therapy from now on.

I guess I was just hoping to have my question about how single girls handle sex answered without my previous posts being quoted and torn apart.

Again, I know the suggestions are made with good intentions. It's just that the situation is much deeper and more complex than the crumbs that I've shared. But I appreciate the encouragement.

[glitzyglow]

Aug 2, 2014 18:44:34 GMT -5 moonlight said:

Aug 2, 2014 17:46:17 GMT -5 @stpete said:

Without snark- what would you have hoped to hear? What would you tell a friend in a similar situation?

If it was a friend we would share all the dirty details, and they make a difference. Like I said it's not simple, and trying to simplify it here was a mistake. I'll keep it for therapy from now on.

I guess I was just hoping to have my question about how single girls handle sex answered without my previous posts being quoted and torn apart.

Again, I know the suggestions are made with good intentions. It's just that the situation is much deeper and more complex than the crumbs that I've shared. But I appreciate the encouragement.

Those "crumbs" are the only ways we have to get to know you. Based on what you've told us, we answered how we would answer anyone who posted similarly to what you've said. The only reason I brought them up is because a) you genuinely seemed to not understand why we answered the way we did and b) those who hadn't seen the "crumbs" were able to understand why you received the answers you did. The answers you got were technically complex because they were based solely on the various information you've provided about yourself and that we've pieced together from them.

Here's the thing: everyone likes to think that her situation is deeper and more complex than a message board can understand. The reality is that normally, it's not. And I'm not saying that to be rude, I'm saying that because I was you once, thinking my story was different, my loneliness wasn't something they would understand, thinking that my situation was not one that anyone else could get. The truth of it was simply that I didn't want to hear the truth. I threw away a year and a half of my life waiting for a guy that treated me like shit. I, too, wanted a relationship, didn't want to be alone, and I craved a relationship. What I didn't want to see or hear is that I absolutely needed time to heal and truly, truly focus on me. This board helped me a lot. If you aren't wanting to hear various opinions (that often times are right), perhaps this isn't the place for you.

My therapist told me once that I would be ready to date when I was okay with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life. I think that's some of the best advice I've ever gotten. When I first heard it, I felt defensive and annoyed, but after really healing, I totally get it.

Good luck with whatever you decide, whether to stay or go.

[spedrunner]

ive been single for about 2 years. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO desire for sex.  At all, so its a non issue for me.  I think the meds I am on is def affecting this. Im ok with it bc Im happy being single at the moment, but i def see it being an issue if I get into a relationship

[Deleted]

Amen glitzyglow

[flex]

I haven't had a physical relationship since the last guy I dated almost 4 years ago. I've gone out a few times since then, but just haven't felt the spark. The way I feel about it is if I'm not physically attracted to a guy enough to want to have sex, then I'm not interested in dating them more than once. So I use toys to keep me happy.

Quite frankly, I haven't been attracted to anyone enough to want to get physical. Either it's because of my hormones or I just haven't found the right guy yet. I hope it's the latter because I'd really like to have sex one more time before I die. lol