childhood confessions

[Deleted]

I thought that someone hid and controlled all of the stop lights.

[Deleted]

I still have the same nightmare I had in childhood, but less frequently and now it is mostly comical - not terrifying like it was at age 7.

[birdistheword]

When we would go on long car trips, I would put my headphones on, play sad music, and dramatically stare out the window, pretending I was in a movie about a girl who had to move to a new town and start a new life.

[snorky]

I used to convince my brother to sleep in my room. I would then pour water on his pillow and cry to my mother that he came in and peed on it so that he would get in trouble. He was too young to really protest.

It should come as to surprise that my brother and I do not speak now.

[wambam]

My kindergarten had a program for underprivileged students to get free breakfast before school. But being 5, I didn't understand WHY they were getting breakfast at school. I just saw them eating French toast and I wanted in on it! I begged my mom to let me go eat with them and could not understand why she wouldn't let me. It dawned on me when I was about 13 why not.

ETA: Also, I started growing armpit hair during the year between my biological mother dying and my dad marrying my mom. My dad was clueless so that whole year I had FIERY red armpit hair. 

[lilafowler]

When I was 12 or 13 I was home alone and I decided I wanted to make a hard boiled egg in the microwave.

It exploded and STUNK. Somehow I managed to clean up the evidence and stench by the time my mom got home about a half hour later.

[sequins]

I showed my mom that little girl and her brother video from yesterday. She says I was the same way about my brother. Also apparently, I used to carry him around a lot but then he became a giant chubster, so I'd place him on my hip and he would slide down to the floor and I would drag him around instead of carrying him, lol. Because his crawling wasn't fast enough to get stuff done, lolol. I was an awesome big sister.

[sequins]

Jul 30, 2014 9:55:52 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

I thought people had sex by rubbing torsos together.
I read Are You There, God?  It's Me, Margaret. at least fifty times over the course of my adolescence.
I was certain that I would direct music videos.
I played with Barbies until I was 13ish.  Maybe 14.

Is that the book where they have a ritual to grow their breasts? Well, let me tell you that ritual doesn't work.  (wilted)

[Deleted]

I modeled for our mall during their back to school and other seasonal fashion shows.

[poppyseed]

I never understood the joke, "What's black and white and read all over?" because I thought it meant the color red, not the word "read". So I was always like, "I have no idea." Until someone explained it to me. When I was 20.

[Deleted]

I think I've told the story here before where I tried to trick God into talking to my microphone recorder thing.

I called my diary "diarrhea" for like, all of kindergarten, and my parents didn't correct me because they thought it was funny. There's horrific video evidence.

[Deleted]

My grandparents bought my brothers this fancy fire truck toy when we were kids. I totally thought if we took the doors off we could fit inside, so I convinced my brothers to ruin their special toy so that we could go ride in a fire truck.

My mom was so pissed.

[jane6672]

Jul 30, 2014 9:55:52 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

I thought people had sex by rubbing torsos together.

I thought "sleeping together" literally was sleeping together. So, what if you accidentally fell asleep next to a guy and got pregnant?


I ate gum off the sidewalk once. It was too dirty to touch, so I used a stick to scrape it up, then ate it off the stick.  :N:

[Mrs.Rad888]

Jul 30, 2014 9:57:37 GMT -5 snorky said:

I used to convince my brother to sleep in my room. I would then pour water on his pillow and cry to my mother that he came in and peed on it so that he would get in trouble. He was too young to really protest.

It should come as to surprise that my brother and I do not speak now.

My younger brother and I shared a room until we moved when I was 10. A few times, I tried to make him pee his bed by sticking his hand in warm water. For some reason, it didn't work, so I just poured the water in the crotch area to make him think he peed his bed, then giggle to myself when he woke my mom because he'd peed the bed. No one knows but me, and we have a pretty good relationship now.

[05heel]

I just learned last year that the things flying at the end of Jurassic Park were just modern pelicans or something, and not in fact pterodactyls. I was always like, "Why is no one concerned about the fucking DINOSAURS FLYING ALONGSIDE THE PLANE!?!?" I wasted so many years being angry.

[Deleted]

Also, I used to listen to the spice girls and sing/dance along. I used to imagine they would all randomly walk past my bedroom window and say "omg! THIS is the girl we need in our group!"

[luckyval]

I used to think the ringing in my ears was aliens trying to communicate with me.

I once called a guy that had asked out a friend of mine and pretended to be her mother and told him that she was grounded for the rest of the year so she could avoid going on a date with him.

I was at the mall once and was starving and my mom wouldn't stop to get something to eat. While I was in the bathroom, I saw someone had left their fresh order of Chik-fil-A sitting on the counter and I stole a sandwich out of it.

[nerdicorn]

When I was little I was obsessed with the Wild West. When we went on long car rides I pretended I was in a wagon train and we were "going west". I lived in Seattle, LOL

[dcannie]

in fifth grade i handed a notebook (a manuscript, if you will) to my mom, telling her i was writing a book. it was several pages of "just as long as we're together" i copied and changed names of characters.

i played w matches A LOT. i still love the smell of a burnt match.

[wambam]

Jul 30, 2014 10:13:39 GMT -5 intentionalsnarkshark said:

Growing up we lived in a duplex with an unfinished basement. One time my brother and I used it to host a rollerblading extravaganza-exhibition.

We spent days practicing, made up about 30 little flyers (that we didn't distribute), set up every chair in the house down there and were surprised when only our parents showed up to watch us twirl around and run into things at full speed.

Did this in my culdesac, invited the whole street.

*hangs head in shame*

[underwaterrhymes]

Jul 30, 2014 9:55:52 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

I thought people had sex by rubbing torsos together.
I read Are You There, God?  It's Me, Margaret. at least fifty times over the course of my adolescence.
I was certain that I would direct music videos.
I played with Barbies until I was 13ish.  Maybe 14.

We could have played Barbies together.

I had friends who were twins and we played with them until we were 13 or 14. I kept mine in a hot pink duffle bag and we would say all secretively, "do you want to play Bs after school?" I'd haul that damn duffle over to their house at least 2 or 3 times a week.

We thought we were so slick. LOL.

[Buttercup]

My aunt (dad's baby sister) is only 2 years older than me. Once when we were like 10 and 12 or 11 and 13 she spent the night with me and we saw one of those phone sex commercials so we decided to call it. It would say some kind of 'sexy' intro then ask for your credit card so we decided to spell out all the dirty words we could and figure out the numbers that went with them and call them. But we forgot to throw away the paper so the next morning my parents found a notebook by the phone that said 1-900-BIG-DICK = (numbers), 1-900-HOT-SEXX= (numbers), etc. I was mortified when I woke up the next morning and they confronted us!

[BaliHai]

I used to record "Making the Video"(?) on MTV and learn the dances to whatever new Britney Spears song was coming out.

I used to very dramatically reenact Les Miserables (the musical) in the shower.

My Dad told me when I was very young that I should put my feet up on the sofa while watching Shark Week in case the floor turned to water and a shark showed up. I kept my feet up on the couch during SW for an embarrassing number of years after that.

I submitted a video audition to be a backup singer for Celine Dion when I was 12 or 13 (she was coming to the Philadelphia area and wanted a children's choir). My parents insisted I sing a Celine Dion song but I insisted on singing "Mama" by the Spice Girls. I never got a callback.

When I still took baths I used to lie down in the tub while the water filled around me and pretend I had been kidnapped and was stuck immobile in a water tank and was moments away from death. I'd tilt my head up and everything so I could keep breathing, and I'd always find a way to break free at the very last second. lol

Suffice to say I was a weird kid.

ETA: Oh! I also used to take money from my Mom's pocketbook and put it somewhere in the house, and then claim I "found" it. She and my sisters still talk about the time I threw a $20 behind the living room recliner and ran around proclaiming finders-keepers.

[Deleted]

Jul 30, 2014 9:55:52 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

I thought people had sex by rubbing torsos together.
I read Are You There, God?  It's Me, Margaret. at least fifty times over the course of my adolescence.
I was certain that I would direct music videos.
I played with Barbies until I was 13ish.  Maybe 14.

I could have written this word for word - except I thought I would STAR in music videos.

[noodleskooze]

birdistheword my sisters and I used to do the same thing (independently, but came to the realization this weekend that we each did it).

[wambam]

Jul 30, 2014 10:16:54 GMT -5 BaliHai said:

I used to record "Making the Video"(?) on MTV and learn the dances to whatever new Britney Spears song was coming out.

If this is wrong, then no girl in her 20s was ever right.

[BaliHai]

Jul 30, 2014 10:11:54 GMT -5 dcannie said:

in fifth grade i handed a notebook (a manuscript, if you will) to my mom, telling her i was writing a book. it was several pages of "just as long as we're together" i copied and changed names of characters.

I once re-wrote a Reader's Digest submission as my own story and then showed it to my Mom, and she was like "Yeah, you took that from RD and changed the names." Womp. lol

[hilwithonelary]

I thought my mom was breaking the law by drinking and driving all the time. She was drinking Tab.

I thought Oprah was just really tan. I wondered how she had time to get so tan when she was busy making her show. I grew up in a rural, 99.9% white community.

I wrote terrible fan fiction in middle school/early high school. The most embarrassing part? It was Star Trek fan fiction. Luckily, it stayed confined to notebooks in my dresser and stayed off the internet.

[Deleted]

Lolol. I was such an awkward kid.

A boy at the bus stop got into a fight and his backpack tore. I brought it home thinking I could sew it back up (I was in grade 4. What kind of 4th grader knows how to sew?) anyway, we didn't have any thread, so I was like "what would the Swiss Family Robinson do?". So I "fixed" his backpack with grass.

I gave it back and he was like, uhh, thanks...

[jane6672]

There should be a whole thread about what you did on long car trips.


I pretended I was riding a horse alongside the car. Jumping over obstacles and galloping up hills. I even had teams that would bring up a new horse, and I would switch between them while still galloping.

Because horses get tired, duh.