Can you all explain "touched out?"

[Brie]

For me it was a result of having a baby that always wanted to be carried and or nursed. By the end of the day, when I'd put him down, my skin would crawl if H tried to touch me.

[panicked]

For me, it's that I have zero personal space at all. I'm constantly being climbed on, hugged, mauled, spider monkeyed, and generally in contact with my kid at all times. She tried to put lipstick on my while I was on the toilet for goodness sake! Add in a husband who has physical contact (or whatever it is) as his love language and I just get tired. Tired of being touched, tired of not having control over my own space, tired of giving a piece of myself to everyone at any time. Sometimes, I just want my personal bubble back!

[spk926]

Babies, toddlers, kids have no personal space bubble and because of that they are constantly touching you, bumping you, crawling on you and just being SUUUUUUPER close.

Once DD goes to bed the last thing I want is for DH to come up and immediately want a hug and kiss. Dude, let me have like 10 minutes where nobody (except the pugs but even for them I sometimes don't want contact) is touching me!!!

[scribellesam]

I've never felt touched out toward DS exactly but I used to get so annoyed at DH if he tried to cuddle after DS was in bed. Gah! Give me some space already! It's not nearly as bad now that DS is older and a little more independent.

[Kore]

It's probably bad that I don't even have kids & feel touched out

[huskymom]

At the end of the day, just let me sit on the couch all by myself! Between a nursing baby, a clingy 2 yr old and begging dogs, I'm just done by 9 pm. Sorry DH.

[212]

Jul 30, 2014 21:19:25 GMT -5 Brie said:

For me it was a result of having a baby that always wanted to be carried and or nursed. By the end of the day, when I'd put him down, my skin would crawl if H tried to touch me.

Exactly this. On really bad days I'd even cringe when the kid touched me. It feels like I'm itchy all over-- on the inside of my skin.

[maebyfunke]

What everyone else said - needing personal space at the end of the day after W has been all over me.

[curbsideprophet]

I sometimes fight this because I feel bad for DH, other times it is just too much I have to move away.

[ryry]

For me, Breastfeeding is only part of it. DD1 uses me as a lovey (she's 3.5 now). Instead of touching a lovey, she's obsessed with touching my skin-specifically, my love handles, arms, arm flab, hips, and back, or putting her hand just inside the neckline of my shirt. She strokes my skin. She knows I don't like it, but I'm pretty sure she can't control it yet. The worst is when she ends up in my bed in the motn. Nursing DD2 can sometimes compound the feeling, but she's not a comfort nurser so it's not that bad.

[erbear]

When I feel like if one more person puts their hands on me, I will punch them in the face.

[booboo173]

What everyone else said, I also start to feel this way when DS won't go to sleep, I'm tired and he just wants to nurse, particularly on my left side., physical tough becomes irritating to the point I want to cry

[vanillacourage]

Claustrophobia inside your own skin.

[Deleted]

I have 4 kids... DD3 is constantly nursing, DD2 wants to be held, DD1 wants to hold the DD3 and climbs on me while DD3 nurses and DS has an obsession with touching my skin so he is often next to me rubbing my arm or back. While this is all very endearing, combine it with 3 kids that try to co-sleep and AHHHHHHHH!

[halfpint]

B isn't cuddly, but he does want to be held and carried. But while being held and carried, he pulls my hair, sticks his fingers in my mouth and nose, yanks at my shirt, flails his arms around and slaps me, and when he's nursing, he yanks at my nipples, popping on and off.

I get to a point where I feel like my senses are on overload. I snap at my H when he tries to talk to me while I'm nursing or trying to wrangle my little octopus.

[whitepicketfence]

Jul 30, 2014 21:21:01 GMT -5 panicked said:

For me, it's that I have zero personal space at all. I'm constantly being climbed on, hugged, mauled, spider monkeyed, and generally in contact with my kid at all times. She tried to put lipstick on my while I was on the toilet for goodness sake! Add in a husband who has physical contact (or whatever it is) as his love language and I just get tired. Tired of being touched, tired of not having control over my own space, tired of giving a piece of myself to everyone at any time. Sometimes, I just want my personal bubble back!

Dude, I can totally relate to this. With 3 kids under the age of 5, I constantly have someone hanging on me, climbing on me, or otherwise touching me all.day.long. DD2 is especially clingy with me and there are times where I feel like she's yet another appendage of mine. By the time the kids are in bed at night, I need some time before being able to cuddle, etc with DH. I often feel guilty about it but there are some days where I feel like if one more person touches me, I'm going to scream.

[heygrey]

yes, to all of the above. i felt this way at times before having a baby and now... h really gets neglected. i feel bad, and i try to force myself into it for his sake, but he knows it's forced. unfortunately, his love language is physical affection. things have been tense lately over this. 

[Deleted]

I'm with TamiTaylor on shanking DH in the eyeball. For me, right now "touched out" is a 2.5yo who constantly wants to "help" i.e., make everything worse. Where EVERY MEAL I'm monitoring whatever DS is "helping" with, probably pinching his fingers in the garlic press, the dog is trying to steal the steak that's about to be cut up, I have to stop DS from grabbing the knife, and DH saunters in with a glass of wine (god how I miss wine) and puts his hand on my ass and says something like "how's it going sweetie?" OMFG don't touch me, HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING?

[Deleted]

Basically, every waking moment is spent comforting, directing, cajoling, feeding, and cleaning up from the 4 creatures in my life (DS, DH, cat, and dog. Yes, DH usually falls into this category). It never ends. As a SAHM there's no work or traveling to break up the monotony, they're just ON ME all day long, 7 days a week, without end. At some point each day I've just had enough and am "touched out." It doesn't have to necessarily be physical touching, it can be the mental component of being responsible for all these lives at every moment of every day.

I need a vacation! Whoops, new house and baby instead.

[pescalita]

I don't get this, and to the extent that I do need space, it doesn't transfer to my H, ie I may get tired of being climbed on, but if H came up and touched me it wouldn't be the straw on the camels back.

What I do get is sudden extreme introversion. Like all of a sudden nobody speak or say my name and for damn sure don't touch me. I need to crawl in a corner and ignore everyone and drink my coffee. Shh.

[rupertpenny]

This also happened to me before I had a kid, but it is so much worse now. B is not a snuggler at all, but she has to be touching me. She can't just sit still and touch me either, she must be trying to climb over or on top of me, or pulling my hair, or sticking her finger up my nose, or pinching me, and she has recently starting trying to bite me.

It is much worse on the weekends when I am around her all day, especially if we are running errands and I have her in a carrier. I get the skin-crawly feeling and I have been on the verge of a panic attack on the bus home because I just couldn't take it anymore. At the worst times it can actually make me feel physically ill.

I also hate being touched in general though. I'm not a hugger and my friends and family know that. When random people try to put their hand on my shoulder or arm while talking to me I visibly flinch. This tendency doesn't mesh well with having a baby.

[rootbeerfloat]

I experienced this much more when breastfeeding and/or when there was a infant/toddler constantly on me. My kids and H are all very snuggly people (even now), and they all like to snuggle ME rather than each other, lol. It amounts to way more physical touch than I prefer, but it's mostly manageable now.

[Deleted]

Right now it is having two babies nursing or otherwise on me nearly 24 hours a day and a toddler who wants up or to otherwise.touch me all the time. H also has physical affection as his love language and as soon as the kids go down he is all.over me. Some days I want to scream because I feel like I don't have my body to myself and I'm always catering to someone else's needs.

[thebreakfastclub]

I did not have this, but I bottle fed, DS slept great in his crib and STTN, and he did not require constant holding. So I had lots of physical breaks.

[UnderProtest]

I think I have the opposite problem. I have two little kids and a husband and I crave hugs. I can cajole my son into giving me hugs, but no cuddles and my daughter and husband are worthless for that. I am screamed out and disciplined out at the end of the day though. I just want someone else to deal with the kids and make sure they aren't going to kill themselves climbing out of their chairs.

[Deleted]

Jul 30, 2014 21:19:25 GMT -5 Brie said:

For me it was a result of having a baby that always wanted to be carried and or nursed. By the end of the day, when I'd put him down, my skin would crawl if H tried to touch me.

Right. It was usually post -baby (likeDS was down for the night). I had spent the whole day being attached physically to someone else. I wanted zero physical contact for a few hours once he was asleep.

[chickens987]

Physical affection is my love language so I don't get touched out but I am fairly introverted so I get frustrated/exhausted by needing to be "on" all the time. That's my equivalent of being touched out.

[gibbinator]

For me it had to do with a baby who for most of a year before I went to work had to be constantly held or interacted with. He would cling to me, cry if I left his sight, clusterfed constantly as a you baby, wouldn't play independently, preferred me to his dad, and did not sttn until 16 months (nursing at each wake up).

I like me time, and when he wasn't around (aka he was sleeping) I really wanted nothing to do with dh's advances. It's no surprise I didn't get pregnant again, despite using no birth control, until after I went back to work and ds started sleeping.

Physical affection is actually one of my love languages (and dh's, poor thing) but apparently there is a point where there's too much for me. I didn't even want to hold hands or sit beside him on the couch. I wanted my personal bubble back.

[spanikopita]

When my mind is screaming, "OMFG stop sucking on me!!" I know I'm all touched out.

[leonard131]

I remember when having to hold M all the time especially to nap I would just want space.

Now some times I just get to the point where I don't want to have interact or make conversation. I am on all day at work and then again from the minute I step through the door. I just want to get done what needs to get done after M goes to bed. I don't want to talk or interact with anyone.