WWYD: $$ related

[drloretta]

If it doesn't impact your budget, I wouldn't mention it.

[ddi741]

Can she just transfer the $ into her local acct instead of yours?

[Ashley&Scott]

How many times a year is she making transfers? My opinion changes if you're spending $30/yr vs say $300.

[polarbearfans]

I wouldn't say anything just because it sounds like you have a good time seeing her. $15 seems a small price to pay. It is weird that she has you transfer the money and I would actually be nervous to be the middleman

[Deleted]

I don't understand why she isn't transferring the money directly in to her account if she has a local one. It seems to she is trying to avoid transfer fees for herself. I would ask her to transfer all the money at once (instead of 3-4 transfers) because you are getting charged for each transfer.

[CloudBee]

I wouldn't want someone else's money transferring through my account, honestly. She should be utilizing her own domestic account, or utilize a CC/debit, and look for a card that has low conversion fees.

It's not a good practice to have funds flow in/out of your account like that.

[raangoli]

Jul 31, 2014 10:28:33 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I wouldn't want someone else's money transferring through my account, honestly. She should be utilizing her own domestic account, or utilize a CC/debit, and look for a card that has low conversion fees.

It's not a good practice to have funds flow in/out of your account like that.

I was going to say this as well. It's strange that she wouldn't just transfer the money to her own account. I'd probably bring that up before I said anything about $60/year in fees.

[mushmouse]

I think it's going to make you sound cheap if she does spend a lot of money on you. Unless you'd rather live without her generosity I would not mention the fee. I would worry more about whether or not it looks like you are laundering money.

[Deleted]

If she is as generous as you say she is, it seems really petty to me to even think about mentioning $15.

[mushmouse]

Jul 31, 2014 13:34:37 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

Jul 31, 2014 13:29:59 GMT -5 mushmouse said:

I think it's going to make you sound cheap if she does spend a lot of money on you. Unless you'd rather live without her generosity I would not mention the fee. I would worry more about whether or not it looks like you are laundering money.

well crap.  I already told her now.  and she probably thinks I am cheap.  Well... I am cheap in reality.  I don't care if she spends a lot on us or not...I'd actually prefer she not, but she just does it.  And this all started when I wrote her a check one day.  She had my routing number and acct number and transferred money without telling me in advance.  Then sent a nice email asking me to transfer it to her account and gave me her info.  I had no choice so I was just super nice about the whole thing thinking it was a one time deal.  Now that it's on a regular basis, I understand I should probably say something but I don't want to cause any issues (long story but we have some financial related history with her that causes a tad bit of tension).   So I decided to text her that I deducted $15 from the transfer to cover the fee.  I really hope she doesn't take that in the wrong way.  I'll treat her to a nice dinner.

^o) Can you even imagine doing this?  That's incredibly ballsy on her part! lol at being cheap in reality - some things just bother us sometimes I think.  If you felt like you needed to say something, then you had to say something.  I was a compliance officer at a broker dealer and I wouldn't mind the fee but if someone transferred funds to me without prior approval I would close the account immediately. LOL

[emilyinchile]

This whole situation is really odd to me. Most account charge fees for international wires. There are also potential tax implications to you (to say nothing of looking like you're laundering money or supporting criminal activity) if you to have money coming in and out. I do not understand on what planet this person thought it was ok to just use your account without asking. I also don't really get why you didn't say the first time "oh, you said it was $5,000, but there's a $15 fee - is that normal, or should I ask my bank for it?" since you by your own admission don't know the standard procedures here. I don't just blindly trust that my bank is doing things correctly! Plus there are ways to send a wire and have all fees charged to the sender, so if for some reason she's been doing that, but you're still getting charged, that needs to be fixed.

In summary, I would probably say that you're a little worried about funneling money from abroad and ask if there is another way you could help, like going to her bank in person if needed to solve the problems with her being able to wire directly to herself.

[hopenotlost]

This whole thing feels very weird to me. I don't think I would be ok with someone (family or not) transferring money to me.

I may I watch Dr. Phil too much.

[AAM2012]

I vote shady for sure! Even worse that she just started transferring money to you without your permission!

[elleblue]

This would make me extremely uncomfortable. For all the reasons previous posters have stated. 

[awick14]

This is very odd to me. :/

[dexteroni]

I swear to God you have the weirdest situations in your life. I'm convinced that you aren't a real person and are the product of a team of bad sitcom writers. lol.

To answer your latest pickle, if this person is that generous with you, let it go. I wouldn't even think twice about a measly $60 for someone who spends what sounds like way, way more than that on me.

But I agree that I wouldn't be comfortable with that money coming through my account. Why doesn't she know how much it's going to be? Where is this money coming from? Why did she have your bank account and routing number in the first place?

[sjh722]

$15 is the least of your worries.

I feel like asking to be reimbursed for the fees if someone is that generous with you is kind of like asking your friend for gas money after you invite them to carpool with you to a movie.

That said, I would be afraid my account was going to be flagged or that I would be under suspicion of money laundering or something like that.

[dexteroni]

Jul 31, 2014 13:34:37 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

I already told her now.

Wait, wtf? Why did you even ask then? If you have past financial issues with her, then it makes even less sense that you would quibble over $15.
 

Jul 31, 2014 13:34:37 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

And this all started when I wrote her a check one day.  She had my routing number and acct number and transferred money without telling me in advance.

This answers why she had your bank account info. But if a relative used my bank account info to funnel money through my account without my permission, that would be the last financial transaction between us, regardless of their generosity. As in I would close that account, get a new one, and never share the info with that person.

Jul 31, 2014 13:34:37 GMT -5 @bluesky said:

I had no choice

Maybe not that first time, but you could have taken care of it the second or third time. "Relative, I transferred the money, but I'm not comfortable with continuing to do this. Can I be of any assistance here in town with ironing out the trouble with your transfers to Local Bank?

[dexteroni]

Jul 31, 2014 13:29:59 GMT -5 mushmouse said:

I would worry more about whether or not it looks like you are laundering money.

This would be my worry too. Are you sure this isn't actually what you're doing? Because it's so weird.

[vanillacourage]

So your friend is a money launderer, eh?

[imojoebunny]

I would like for someone to explain how this has the potential to be "money laundering"?

$5k is not a crap ton of money for a vacation and there are some countries that are not easy to bank with between US. It does seem strange that she can transfer to you, but not to herself, and that may be a way to get around some laws about payments to others verses bringing money into the country. I would email her and say, " I got the transfer, $5k, and the fee is $15 for the transfer and $3.95 to send it to your local account. Transferring the $5k tomorrow. Have a great night. Can't wait to see you. Much love, me"

Then I would ask someone that actually knows!who works at a bank and does international transfers, why this is hard for her.

[noodleoo]

Jul 31, 2014 21:38:03 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

So your friend is a money launderer, eh?

This is drug money, isn't it? That's the first thing I thought.  No way I'd keep doing this. 

[emilyinchile]

Jul 31, 2014 22:00:31 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I would like for someone to explain how this has the potential to be "money laundering"?

lmgtfy.com/?q=define%3Amoney+laundering Read the top of the page

FWIW, I don't think that $5,000 coming in and then right back out 4 times a year is really that high up on any government agency's watchlist. However, I would not want to be put in the position of poentially having to explain that a relative is sending me $20k/year split into smaller transactions...so that I can then write her checks for that money...because she has some unidentified reason she can just put the money straight into her US account...and no, I don't actually know what that reason is...oh and by the way I never questioned all of this because she spends tons of money on my family and me in a lavish way. Just doesn't hold up to scrutiny too well on the off chance anyone ever questions it, ya know?

[rubytue]

Jul 31, 2014 21:08:29 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

I swear to God you have the weirdest situations in your life. I'm convinced that you aren't a real person and are the product of a team of bad sitcom writers. lol.

To answer your latest pickle, if this person is that generous with you, let it go. I wouldn't even think twice about a measly $60 for someone who spends what sounds like way, way more than that on me.

But I agree that I wouldn't be comfortable with that money coming through my account. Why doesn't she know how much it's going to be? Where is this money coming from? Why did she have your bank account and routing number in the first place?

Point 1: Yes! Except why would sitcom writers bother with boing old MM? Cat fishing ML perhaps, but MM?! *yawn*

Points 2&3 - yes and yes. Seriously OP? $60/year for a generous friend/family member, no big deal. Seems kinda cheap and petty to make a fuss over it. But the potential ramifications of laundering $20k a year for your family member? Huge deal.

Captain Smith, I think we might have knocked a walrus off that iceberg. Should we call a marine biologist to check on him?

[aMrsin09]

She never knows the exact amount because of exchange rates. My H works overseas and does this. I get an email, "sent XXX Euros. Let me know how much went in"

She may also transfer it to you and then you transfer it to her because now it's a "gift" according to the IRS. Also if it was over $10,000 the bank would flag it to the IRS.

I'm super duper jealous of the $15 fee. We get popped $30 on my end and $60 on his end. Every freakin month.

[wise_rita]

Inform her that transfers are free on xe.com. It's the only way to go.

[aMrsin09]

Aug 1, 2014 4:43:50 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

Inform her that transfers are free on xe.com. It's the only way to go.

Did you know that direct transfers from account to account on XE only works to US or UK accounts?
We tried it and we would have to pay the $60 from the UK bank to a German holding bank, and then the holding bank sends it to OZ, and we still have to pay the receive fee.  It's not even as if the exchange rates were THAT much better.

[wise_rita]

Aug 1, 2014 4:48:31 GMT -5 aMrsin09 said:

Aug 1, 2014 4:43:50 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

Inform her that transfers are free on xe.com. It's the only way to go.

Did you know that direct transfers from account to account on XE only works to US or UK accounts?
We tried it and we would have to pay the $60 from the UK bank to a German holding bank, and then the holding bank sends it to OZ, and we still have to pay the receive fee.  It's not even as if the exchange rates were THAT much better.

Heh?  

I've transferred from Australia to Norway and I don't think there's a fee.  $60 is a ton!

However I might not be seeing the fee, because it goes into SO's account on the other end. 

[aMrsin09]

OK, then maybe the next time I'm down there you can look at how I have XE set up. They were telling me that XE couldn't go get the funds themselves. I had to set up the transfer each time.

The $60 is from the UK bank H uses. It's a special off shore account for non-UK residents (and maybe EU is excluded too?). He can move funds through US/Sterling/Euros as needed.

[heliocentric]

I wouldn't do this, but I am not a particularly helpful person with these kinds of things. When there are reasonable options available that don't inconvenience me I expect people to use those.

If her local bank is able to transfer to your US bank(I assume you're in the US), but not her US bank then she needs to set up an account at the same US bank you have and use her own accounts.

DH & I are renting a vacation property in Italy and the owners are Canadian. We've had to make the payments by wire transfer to Canada. Each party pays fees (incoming & outgoing) and the bank has asked the purpose each time, how I know these people, etc. so I feel like stuff is being watched.

To the people mentioned exchange rates, doesn't the bank tell you how much is being deposited into the overseas account? In my vast experience of two transfers (sarcasm), they told me instantly what the transfer amount was in the local currency.