Post by hokiegirl82 on Jul 31, 2014 15:06:56 GMT -5
I've been on mat leave with DS for 8 weeks now (I'm taking 12 weeks total) and there are some days I am tired of being home with a cranky baby all day (like today). We went to target today to get out of the house and he was an asshole the entire 45 minutes I was there. I love him to death and he does have some good days but he's been kind of a cranky baby the whole 8 weeks with reflux problems and some days I really can't wait for DH to get home so I can hand DS off to him. I feel guilty not enjoying all of the time home with my baby because I know he'll only be this small once and I feel like I shouldn't get tired of him but some days he's so fussy I count the hours until DH is home.
Do babies get more fun as time goes on? I've heard that the first 3 months are basically survival mode and it gets better after that. DS is starting to smile and almost laugh a lot now and I love that interaction with him.
Post by jeaniebueller on Jul 31, 2014 15:10:04 GMT -5
Yes, it gets much better IMO. I hated being on ML with DS and really struggled with not enjoying the newborn phase. But once they sit up, roll, crawl, etc., they are much more fun to be around. And my current newborn experience with DD has been completely better and different, so there is that too. Hang in there!
Any progress in his sleep situation? I remember your post a few weeks back.
If it didn't get better, I never would have had a second. It get's better every month, I swear. Pretty soon, your rose colored glasses will be firmly in place and you'll think "it wasn't that bad, was it?". Hang in there.
Post by narockshard on Jul 31, 2014 15:11:43 GMT -5
I almost posted this exactly, today. My daughter is 5 weeks and I was seriously wondering when babies become enjoyable lol. I have a crank butt as well and I'm terrified to take her anywhere because I'm convinced she'll basically scream the whole time.
Post by pierogigirl on Jul 31, 2014 15:11:51 GMT -5
It gets a lot better - 6 -18 months is pretty fun.
And then they turn into toddlers and it gets so much worse. There are many days I'm glad I work outside the house.
Signed, Mom of a pretty easy 5 yr old. and a (sometimes) terrible two.
ETA: The 5 yr. old was my needier baby and was a bad sleeper. The 2 yr old was an easier baby, but we are paying now. You're not terrible for not enjoying the newborn stage. I was an anxious mess when they were new. They have gotten more fun as time goes on. Hopefully, my two yr. old gets over this phase soon.
Post by nonsenseabound on Jul 31, 2014 15:14:18 GMT -5
See, I loved about 2 months to 14 months. 14 months-18 months was my torture phase. Then they suddenly can communicate instead of pointing and screaming.
I have a 5.5 DD and 2.5 DS. I love them both dearly but I was certainly happy to drop off my son today!
sooo much better. we still have a load of issues, ahem... sleeping, but he babbles, rolls over (and over and over), plays with toys, mimics faces... he's a lot of fun to hang out with even when he's being cranky. <-- never dreamed I'd say that.
It was the 8 week mark where I had a sobbing breakdown to H about how "I only have four weeks left with her and I really want to enjoy them but I'm SO FRUSTRATED!!!"
It gets better. L is days away from 8 months old now and she is so.much.fun.
Yes, it gets much better IMO. I hated being on ML with DS and really struggled with not enjoying the newborn phase. But once they sit up, roll, crawl, etc., they are much more fun to be around. And my current newborn experience with DD has been completely better and different, so there is that too. Hang in there!
Any progress in his sleep situation? I remember your post a few weeks back.
Yes the sleep situation has improved greatly, thanks for asking! At 6 weeks old I told H we needed to try getting him to sleep in our bedroom in the RnP because I was tired of not sleeping in the same bed as H. We've been at it for 2 weeks now and DS is finally sleeping most of the night in our room in the RnP. He gets up every 2-3 hours for food and diaper change and we take turns with that. I feel much more like a normal person now sleeping in our bedroom together.
It gets SO much better. I've always said there should be a second maternity leave, when they are actually fun, because the first one can suck.
I think this a BRILLIANT! idea. I was commenting to a colleague the other day that A has finally gotten to a point that I can start to understand why some people want to stay at home with their kids.
It seriously gets better. It doesn't feel like it in the moment, but it really does.
Newborns really are the pits. It's just thankless. They scream and poop and don't sleep and then just stare at you like "who the eff are you?" 6-10 months was my favorite, and 15-19 months was great too. And even though my kid is a toddler now I still like dropping him off at daycare on Monday morning.
I can relate to your post and feelings almost word for word. It definitely gets better! DD is 8 months now and so much fun. It has been much better since about 3 or 4 months and the first few months are already fading from memory. Hang in there!
Post by shellbear09 on Jul 31, 2014 15:28:23 GMT -5
God yes it gets so much better. This idea that maternity leave for the first 3 months is supposed to be so wonderful is actually a bunch of crap. We made big strides in the sleep dept. by 3 months and that helps immensely.
Totally normal. I remember weeks 8 to 12 felt like such a count down. I was glad for the ML time but I felt recovered from the birth, out of my element with living with a newborn but not really able to settle into a routine because I was going back to work soon (not soon). And I was not "enjoying it" enough.
Whatever, it passes. And you still have this wonderful, growing baby after maternity leave. You STILL get to parent after ML!
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Jul 31, 2014 15:29:15 GMT -5
It gets better. DS was a colicky refluxing mess of a newb who screamed if he wasn't nursing or sleeping. I didn't enjoy the first three months. It's okay.
After I had DS1, I remember telling someone that I wished we could take reverse maternity leave. I'll get back to work ASAP after baby, but then take 12 weeks off starting at about 3 months! It sucks when the only thing they can really do is scream & cry. Then they start to smile and stuff & it's time to go back to work. :/
Post by Jalapeñomel on Jul 31, 2014 15:36:32 GMT -5
I really love D right now at 9 months, and he is really fun right now. Up until 6 months, it was a lot of work, and although he was cute, I didn't really have "fun" with him.
Post by catsarecute on Jul 31, 2014 15:37:44 GMT -5
I totally understand. Towards the end of my leave, I was getting really worn down from being alone with her all day. DH was getting home late from work so I was "on duty" for a lot. Even now that I have Monday's off of work specifically to spend with her, by 4:00, I'm exhausted and sitting by the front window watching for DH to get home.
Things will get better. Remember that everything is a phase. Try to take some time for yourself when possible (easier said than done, I know). And push that guilt away. You are doing the best you can! You are a good mom!
Kids change a lot. They can still really be hard but the nature of how it is hard changes considerably. There are plenty of times I find my children's company unpleasant. It doesn't mean I don't love them. Parenting is just hard work at times.
First 6 months or so: Pro: portable, non-mobile, simple needs and desires, Cons: need to sleep open, sleep poorly, have limited/no communication, maybe be fussy and generally hard to sooth.
6-18 months or so: Pro: personality comes out, usually sleeping better, fall in a daily routine or can be put on a schedule with less issue Con: still very dependent, limit to no verbal ability, limited back and forth interactions (doesn't play games, gives back less emotionally), may have stretches where they are profoundly moody or hard to get back to sleep. Lots of gross motor development happens at this time and it can interfere with sleep as kids test out new skills.
18M to 3Y Pro: walking, talking, doing more on their own, can be fun, may express preferences of things to do, may play well by themselves for short periods, play with others, may enjoy being read too or looking at books, eating mostly normal foods, weaned, possibly potty trained Con: temper tantrums, lots of power struggles, needs lots of structure and clear rules -- lots of testing going on, may have biting issues
3Y-4Y: Pro 4 year olds are people. They can telll a story, they may have 1-2 close friends, they can play on their own, and are usually potty trained. They can dress themselves in simple clothing and maybe helpful around the house (might put away silverware or clean up toys) Con: more power struggles, may be very emotional, may have trouble with hitting, naps usually fad away as well making for a fairly long day
God, I was so ready to get back to work at the end of maternity leave. O's worst periods were from around 8-12 weeks. Fucking witching hour, man. That said, I really started enjoying her around 4 months when she was beginning to become more alert and interactive. 6-9 months is like, peak baby cuteness for me. Best time ever.
Yes! My second was a hot mess his first three months. I was afraid to take him anywhere (even walks) because he screamed all the time and people made comments. I was at his pediatrician once for his two month appointment and this dad gave me serious side eye and loud sighs the entire time I was in the waiting room because his kid was sleeping and he thought my screamer would wake him up. I felt like a shitty parent all the time. My H and I got good at talking in signs because we couldn't hear each other over the screaming .
Then he just changed into the happiest baby ever. I can't even believe it's the same kid. I found out what made him so pissed (caffeine and dairy) and when I got rid of those things were much better.
Hugs, those first couple months had me doubting everything! I thought I had ruined our lives lol.
Post by hokiegirl82 on Jul 31, 2014 16:07:52 GMT -5
I will say I don't have guilt on the weekends when I ask H to watch DS for awhile while I go off by myself to have some "me" time ... Whether it's to go grocery shopping or to target for random shit. Mommy needs time to herself!
Post by asoctoberfalls on Jul 31, 2014 16:32:48 GMT -5
Talk about mom guilt... I sent DS to daycare for 5 weeks of my maternity leave because I had to pay to hold the spot. ML was NOT fun at all, he was a very fussy baby, and I was struggling hardcore with PPD. This 5 weeks saved my sanity in a lot of ways, but I do feel guilty about it to this day.
When DS was about 6 months old, it was much better and I was much happier. And it's gotten better and better every day since. I have enjoyed each age more than the last. I would LOVE to go on ML with him now! (He just turned 3).
The best day of my maternity leave was the day DD started daycare (we sent her to daycare part-time the week before I went back to work). I went to lunch, Target, and Marshall's by myself and it was heavenly.
Now that she is older, I really enjoy spending the day with her on weekends, but during the early months, I appreciated her a lot more in small doses.
Yeah... the first 6-8 weeks were hell. Total hell. And I had a good eater and sleeper! So it gets much much MUCH better. She's 2.5 now and pretty freaking awesome.