So I had a panic attack today

[lime]

Sorry that sucks.

Can you get a little bit of alone time tonight? 

[karmasabiotch]

Hang in there. As you know everyday brings something different with a 6 month old. Can you get some alone time?

[lime]

Eh, there are going to be times where your spouse walks in the door, you hand him the crying kid and say, "Here's your angel, I'm off to the gym/spa/walk/friend's house".

I'm glad you called your mom. Hang in there.

[rex]

you are not a big baby. at all.

you solo parent SO much. and even if you didn't, hard days can be so physically and emotionally draining.

is there anyway you can get some alone time asap?

[jlt19]

I'm sorry, that's rough. I honestly couldn't be a SAHM because I'd feel like this at least once a week. I love my kids, but man, sometimes I'm ready for Monday morning to roll around. If DH is working a lot of nights, I sometimes call one of my parents over to eat dinner or just hang out. Just to have another adult in the house to chat with and maybe help out a bit. Don't feel like a baby for doing that, especially when it sounds like you do it all day and night alone.

[karmasabiotch]

Jul 31, 2014 18:51:40 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Jul 31, 2014 18:49:31 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

Hang in there. As you know everyday brings something different with a 6 month old. Can you get some alone time?

He's 18 months. I don't think my ticker is update. I called my mom (like a giant baby) and she's going to come down tomorrow.

There isn't anything wrong with needing help. You're not being a baby.

[dexteroni]

((((hugs)))) I remember how hard it was for you last season and honestly, you have to stop with this "I'm a shit wife" and "I can't do anything right" business, because it's not true and not helpful. And it doesn't matter that other people have it harder. This is tough ON YOU, and that's all that counts. (Although honestly, I think anyone would go a little nuts in your situation.)

Have you been able to get any relief care set up for this season? If not, you need to, ASAP. Or have you had a serious talk with your DH about being available more, or taking a break from coaching? I mean, you can't live your life miserable during the season, and panicking during the off season because you dread it so much. Come on, advocate for yourself. You deserve it.

[noodleskooze]

TamiTaylor I wish I lived closer so I could help you out at times like these. Get ahold of me if there's anything I can do from here.

[lilac05]

Jul 31, 2014 19:24:51 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

And it doesn't matter that other people have it harder. This is tough ON YOU, and that's all that counts. 

This is so true!  Reminds me of a quote (that I'm sure I don't have exactly right):  Not allowing yourself to be sad because someone has it worse is like not allowing yourself to be happy because someone has it better.

You feel overwhelmed.  Most (well, probably all) parents have been in your shoes.  Not everyone is wise enough to recognize their struggle and call for back-up (or have any available).  You are most definitely NOT a big baby to call for some relief.  In fact, I think it's pretty much the opposite.

Can you figure out a way to fit a housekeeper into your budget?

[snickers]

I'm so sorry mama

[nerdicorn]

You do not deserve flaming, at all. This shit is hard. Maybe not in the "land a man on the moon" hard sense, but it's hard because you feel the weight of the enormity of the task ahead of you (if that makes sense).

It is totally ok and normal to need help. It doesn't make you weak and it certainly doesn't make you a bad mom. I struggle a lot too with negative self talk but try to remind yourself that that bad little voice saying you're a bad mom, a baby, etc, is a big fat liar pants.

[Gato]

(((TAMI)))

I think you need to invest in yourself a little more. It's really okay to need things, even if the things you need aren't super convenient for everyone else. If your LO is a bad sleeper AND your H has long hours through the football season, man, that's a lot on your plate. No wonder you are exhausted. You need to reach out to him and your ILs - they both sound supportive. Even just having one afternoon or evening to yourself scheduled each week, so you can look forward to it, will help get you through the rough times.

[fivechickens]

I don't why someone would flame you for this. The first day I had to be alone with my girls I had broke down and told my husband I couldn't do it that he was going to have to figure out how I was going to do it because I had no clue. They were 7 months old.

There is no same in feeling the way you do and its good that you asked for help. I also think you can absolutely peace out on your husband occasionally during the week.

[delawarejen]

Could you get a mother's helper? There has to be a middle school girl out there who would just love to come over two or three nights a week for a few hours, who wouldn't cost that much, and you could then even let her babysit if she does a good job.

[noodleskooze]

TamiTaylor I'd be drinking one right next to you if I could! The song choice...not so much

[bella427]

My dad was a football coach in Texas for 30 years. I'm one of three kids. I don't know how my mom did it. Be kind to yourself. You are doing great. One day at a time.

[delawarejen]

Jul 31, 2014 20:50:43 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Jul 31, 2014 20:46:27 GMT -5 delawarejen said:

Could you get a mother's helper? There has to be a middle school girl out there who would just love to come over two or three nights a week for a few hours, who wouldn't cost that much, and you could then even let her babysit if she does a good job.

We only have middle school boys for neighbors and I don't really trust them to babysit but maybe they could help out while I'm home. What's the going rate for something like that?

Not a mom so I'm not sure of the going rate, and depends on your COL.  When I was young in the late 80's that would have probably been something like $1.50 - 2.00 an hour at the most for mother's helpers and more for babysitters. I'm guessing $3.50 - 4-ish now for MCOL, maybe less? I bet if the boys aren't interested, their mom probably has friends with kids that would be.

[jssymom14]

Does your husband teach regular classes? As a high school teacher, I was able to find a few very trustworthy teens (or fellow teacher's kids) who babysit a couple hours as needed. Maybe just for you to go to a local Starbucks or target for a short break but it might help? Or he does he have a few teacher friends or coaches wives who might help?
Disclaimer: I teach in a very small school of 600 or less and know the parents of these babysitters.

[jssymom14]

Jul 31, 2014 22:43:21 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Jul 31, 2014 22:20:32 GMT -5 jssymom14 said:

Does your husband teach regular classes? As a high school teacher, I was able to find a few very trustworthy teens (or fellow teacher's kids) who babysit a couple hours as needed. Maybe just for you to go to a local Starbucks or target for a short break but it might help? Or he does he have a few teacher friends or coaches wives who might help?
Disclaimer: I teach in a very small school of 600 or less and know the parents of these babysitters.

We both teach in the same small district about 20 miles away from where we live. And to be honest I'm not comfortable mixing work and home. I don't want students in my house.

Totally understand! I have used two students/former students now only bc other teachers suggested and had used them prior. We have no family nearby so I went that route.