Ok, s/o

[rex]

yes.

[pittsmcgee]

Yup. I had a 2 year relationship that was oral/manual only.

[sillygoosegirl]

Before like foreplay, or before like "I'm technically still a virgin"?

The former, yes, but not until years after vaginal sex was a regular thing.

I feel like there's a lot of cultural baggage around blowjobs and them being disrespectful to women that it took DH and I a very long time to get past.

[eb777888]

I honestly don't remember. I was with my first boyfriend for like a year before we did it but I was a super prude. I mean, I was 19 when I finally did it, lol. I thinnnnnk after, but I'm not sure.

[Marle]

Nope

My exbf was so weird about oral. He never gave me any and he felt bad/guilty about me giving it.

I often wondered if he's come out of the coset or has had some other serious psychological issues come to surface.

[bab]

No. At least I don't think so. How bad is it that I am not 100% sure about this?  

[lime]

Aug 1, 2014 19:27:59 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Aug 1, 2014 19:26:38 GMT -5 suzyp said:

Lol! I'm 39. I feel like people in their 20s view bjs differently (but this could always be just me and my friends). Like its not a base. It was something you did if you were also having vaginal. 

I'm 39 too. I know lots of people who gave head before they had sex.

+1 

I'm 40. 

[specialk]

I can't believe I can't remember the answer to this. What's wrong with me? I think I did...

[coribelle26]

Every few years I bring out this little bit of adolescent trauma, and this seems like the right time to do it again. When I was about 13 my dad gave me this book called "Hang Onto Your Hormones" that had, among other things, a list of "typical progression of sexual contact" so you could recognize how far along you were on the yellow brick road to hell. It was like hand/hand, mouth/mouth, hand/body, mouth/body, hand/genital, mouth/genital, genital/genital. (This reinforces my belief that it was totally part of the religious kid upbringing that everything but p in v was not quite sex.)

Anyhoo, I made the mistake of telling my friends about this and thereafter a regular truth or dare question was, "How far have you gone on coribelle's dad's sex scale?" And I begged them to call it anything in the world other than that, and my pleas went ignored.

[CheshireGrin]

I don't remember. I know first oral and first intercourse were with the same guy, but I don't remember in what order they happened.

[Captain Serious]

Aug 1, 2014 19:26:38 GMT -5 suzyp said:

Aug 1, 2014 19:16:53 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Why does this mean you are old?

Oral has existed for centuries.

Lol! I'm 39. I feel like people in their 20s view bjs differently (but this could always be just me and my friends). Like its not a base. It was something you did if you were also having vaginal. 

I agree with Suzyp. I think most the people I know who were/are my contemporaries view oral as far more intimate than intercourse. Intercourse was something you did long before oral, for almost everyone I know/discussed these things with. I feel like that is not the norm for the 20-something (maybe even young 30's) and younger set. I'm turning 40 this year.

[sugarbear]

I honestly can't remember. I thiiiiiiinnnnk I had sex first.

[Captain Serious]

Aug 1, 2014 19:54:27 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Oh god yeah. By like 5 years.

Blow jobs are like the Catholic girl handshake.

See, this is what I'm talking about. This was not the mentality amongst anyone i knew when I was young, but I feel like it is the norm now.

[coribelle26]

Aug 1, 2014 22:00:33 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Aug 1, 2014 19:54:27 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Oh god yeah. By like 5 years.

Blow jobs are like the Catholic girl handshake.

See, this is what I'm talking about. This was not the mentality amongst anyone i knew when I was young, but I feel like it is the norm now.

I think regular intercourse in high school is back to the norm now.  I'm 32, I was in high school in the late 90s.  Every single one of my friends was doling out beejers before they had intercourse.  I was the weird one for just how long I waited between, but the order of things was definitely standard.

[mcsangel2]

I don't remember. It was the same relationship, but although I can remember my first times, I can't recall which came first.

[gelukkig]

I am 38 and yeah, I was giving oral to guys I barely liked.

Slutty party of one over here.

[lilybug]

Yes, by years. I can't think of anyone in my teenage friend group that had vag sex before oral.

[Mrs.Rad888]

No. I was having P-in-V sex for over a year before I gave a BJ. I was a prude before I had sex at 19, and still a prude for years after that. No way was I letting a dude put his junk near my head! Of course, none of them offered to give oral, either.