i just feel bad bc i know they moved from about 2 hours away last year and just don't know many ppl.
i remember how lonely i was before i made the knot friends.
ffs i went wedding dress shopping BY MYSELF. i would've been so happy to have some friends to join in that special moment.
You know, after a few drinks I like a lot of people more than I did sober. Figure out what beverage keeps you chipper and keep drinking it during dinner :-)
i just feel bad bc i know they moved from about 2 hours away last year and just don't know many ppl.
i remember how lonely i was before i made the knot friends. ffs i went wedding dress shopping BY MYSELF. i would've been so happy to have some friends to join in that special moment.
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But truly, if you don't (and won't) enjoy their company, you're not doing them any favors by faking it, kwim?
I would go. But I hate hurting people's feelings. I'd try one more time.
this is me too, generally.
but i have friends i really like that i haven't been giving time to bc of obligations, kwim? being spread thin.
Yeah, then just be honest with them and tell them that you are really spread thin right now. Talk about all the stuff you have going on in the next few months, and then the holidays are coming up, yada yada yada. Thank them for the invite and say "maybe we can do something after the holidays..." Then never bring it up again.
Can you put the note in someone's cubby? Maybe, they would want dinner with them. Say no, don't give a reason, and don't invite them. Sounds mean, but it's worse to lead them on.
When you decline, don't be very apologetic about it. Give a tight little smile, say you're busy, and keep it brief. Be just nice enough that she can't be sure, but cold enough to make her doubt herself.
What's rude is to break out in laughter and point at her and say "dinner? With YOU?" That would be rude.
But to say "I'm really busy right now" because you simply aren't interested isn't rude
And really, I'd even argue that's it's mean to play along and get her hopes up. You'd basically be giving her a pity dinner with no plans to follow up after. I don't really think that's very nice either.
Post by UnderProtest on Aug 20, 2014 5:57:41 GMT -5
Eeehh, I'm the awkward new girl in town. I say try ONE dinner with them and see how it goes. They may be uncomfortable in group settings and may be much more pleasant one on one. I guess I want to believe that people are generally nice and wouldn't write me off based on a large group setting.
On the one hand, I'm like "yes! Don't do it! It's ok to say no!" Especially if you are spread thin and don't have time to see the people you really care about.
But I'm such a wuss, I'd totally go and risk a miserable evening. If the kids get along, at least you have some time not having to entertain your son. That's sort of relaxing, right?
You don't have to go. I'm building my network so I put myself out there and invite a lot of daycare families over or try to do play-dates. Some families say no (politely for the most part). It is fine. Sometimes I'm a little sad but I don't take it personalty. Some people have a lot going on and some people might not click with me. That is OK.
I tried to maintain a friendship with one family. After 2 attempts to get a playdate going I just stopped asking. If we run into them we're polite but I give them space since that is what they seem to want.
The only thing I hate is mixed signals. There is one family that I'll write to and hear nothing back. Then they'll see me and say oh we're sorry we'd love to get together shoot us another email. Which they don't respond too.
" We got your invite thanks so much, unfortunatly our schedule is pretty tight right now, but if something changes we will let you know"
And its okay to fib a little like "We got your invite but we are stretched so thin the next few months. We would like to come for dinner when things slow down and we'll let you know"
and i would date them. they are effing smoking hot. but their personalities leave a lot to be desired.
i really felt like i was on a super awkward double blind date when we were hanging with them at the daycare function parties.
We live in a duplex and our neighbor's have a daughter who is a month older than my daughter and both of them have hit it off but the dad is super socially awkward and the mother who is a social butterfly NEVER comes out of the house or she's working.
So I'm usually stuck with this guy who only gives one word answers and then stands there in silence. We bought a new car on Sunday and we were all out on the driveway while the kids were running around and you would think he would at least notice and make a comment like, "Wow, you got a new car...how does it drive?" You know, it's sort of a subject to get a conversation moving. Nope he never even brought it up, a big new vehicle sitting 15 feet in front of him and nothing. I HATE being stuck with him outside but I don't feel confident in letting my daughter play outside without me there.
Just go and have dinner with them. Let the kids play. Its a free meal and booze. If things are any better after that then just always be busy. Sometimes good friends start out awkward. Give them another chance.
fuck. this is one of those parental political things i have to do isn't it. i'm really fucking annoyed.
Well, we better just start homeschooling then. This sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. And what good is free booze when you can't have as much of it as you want?
and i would date them. they are effing smoking hot. but their personalities leave a lot to be desired.
i really felt like i was on a super awkward double blind date when we were hanging with them at the daycare function parties.
We live in a duplex and our neighbor's have a daughter who is a month older than my daughter and both of them have hit it off but the dad is super socially awkward and the mother who is a social butterfly NEVER comes out of the house or she's working.
So I'm usually stuck with this guy who only gives one word answers and then stands there in silence. We bought a new car on Sunday and we were all out on the driveway while the kids were running around and you would think he would at least notice and make a comment like, "Wow, you got a new car...how does it drive?" You know, it's sort of a subject to get a conversation moving. Nope he never even brought it up, a big new vehicle sitting 15 feet in front of him and nothing. I HATE being stuck with him outside but I don't feel confident in letting my daughter play outside without me there.
OMG, this is my neighbor's husband. He's a total lump on a log with conversations. I always get stuck with him too because his wife (who I LOVE) works late sometimes and he'll bring his DD over to play and then STAY. He'll actually STAY IN SILENCE. Like WTF? One time, he came over while I was preparing for one of my big parties and I was clearly busy but he followed me around to each room. Mumbling some one word things every 5 mins or so, then I'd have to stop and say "What was that? rinse and repeat. I wish I didn't like his wife so much or I'd never have our kids play together.
Post by jennistarr1 on Aug 20, 2014 15:00:55 GMT -5
can you figure out another couple to drag into it so it's less awkward...get them to agree then tell awkward couple "Lucy and Desi have been talking about getting together to, do you think we could figure out a time that works for all of us"