mrspost08 - thanks for asking - I was supposed to find out Friday, but of course the office closed before they got back to me and then it was the long holiday weekend. I was able to speak to my MFM today and apparently the MRI could not confirm the presence of accreta. And while it is rare and unlikely, it is still possible it is there. I'll have a f/u MRI at 32 weeks and bi-weekly u/s until then. She then gave me a lecture on all sorts of other scary things, like an increased risk in placental tears, etc. before advising me to "plan for the worst but pray for the best." Ummm, thanks?
I talked to my OB afterwards who explained the MFM continues to suspect accreta based on continued bleeding, the location of the placenta which is directly over scar tissue from my uterine rupture after my m/c, and the fact that there has been no movement of the previa since Week 17 (I'm almost 27 weeks). My OB also admitted my MFM is known to have a gruff bedside manner but is one of the best in her profession. I told her a gruff bedside manner is an understatement. My OB said at my next appointment we will talk about next steps which will likely include some form of bed rest (either at home or hospital depending on the bleeding situation). She also said they will not try to prevent labor/c-sec once I make it to 32 weeks.
So overall, I guess it was a mixed bag of information....Good news in that I don't have confirmed accreta, but just a lot to take in and still hard to accept a worst case scenario of a hysterectomy. Hard to believe I could be a mom in 6 weeks if something were to happen. I can't understand though why 32 weeks is the magic number that I need to make it to - it seems so so early.
Can I vent a little? I know I shouldn't complain because at least I have gotten the chance to experience pregnancy, but I am angry about having to accept all of this and feel robbed of experiencing a "normal" pregnancy where I can just "enjoy" it. And while slim, if the worst case scenario happens, then this will be my only chance - I won't even have hope for another biological child. I feel really really guilty saying that because I know others are robbed entirely of experiencing pregnancy and that they would prefer to go through this over nothing at all. I don't regret going through this, I just wish there were days I did not have to worry - worry about what I'm wearing in case of a sudden bleed, worry about monitoring blood loss, worry about conducting several daily kick counts to make sure the bub is still alive. Emotionally, all of this - the fairly constant bleeding, the fears about losing the little bub after every bleed, the potential for a hysterectomy, and all sorts of increased risks associated with PP and PA has worn my PGAL self down.
Sorry this got long. I think I just need a day to deal with the conversations from earlier and absorb the information. Going forward I am going to try to refocus all the negatives into positives, and envision success. I am pregnant. I need to bake this little guy for at least 6 more weeks. I am incredibly blessed. I have a great team of doctors and an awesome DH all of whom are keeping close watch over the baby to make sure baby Toutsuite makes his grand entrance without issue.
I am so sorry you are going through this, but I'm glad the test shows you may not have it. Sending good thoughts your way that he stays snuggled in for a good long time and that there is no accreta.
Post by undecidedowl on Sept 2, 2014 21:52:30 GMT -5
There is no reason for you to have any guilt about your feelings. You are going through a very tough situation and it is a lot to process and prepare for. Best wishes that it isn't accreta and the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.
To answer your question, 32 weeks is a big milestone in fetal lung development. For high risk, preterm deliveries, 32 weeks is usually the goal to make it to. That said, I have a current patient who was born at 30 weeks and, with steroids, she came out screaming. All that to say don't get too anxious about numbers. I have a feeling your baby will be a fighter like its mama
I think your feelings make a lot of sense! Just because some people have it worse doesn't mean we can be upset about our current situation.
I think that sounds great to think about the positive, but it's okay to have and process negative feelings too.
I've had a lot of luck in seeing a counselor when I feel overwhelmed, so always consider that as an option too if you'd like some help working through everything. Usually just a couple of sessions and I'm feeling much better.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Continuing to think of you and your precious baby and praying for the absolute best outcome. I'm happy to hear the positive update and hope it continues in that direction. Sorry you are having such a rough pregnancy- all your emotions and feelings are normal. Wish I was closer so I could give you a huge hug! Hang in there mama- you are doing great!
Don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Someone out there always has it worse than us in some way or another, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel bad about your own situation. What you're feeling is normal.
I'm glad you posted an update. I'm still hoping for the best, but I know it can be hard not to think about the worst. I'm glad they will be monitoring you closely, and I hope everything goes well.
As an aside, I had surgeon who had the most horrible bedside manner. I left his office in tears because he made me feel as if there was no absolutely hope for my situation (I won't get into it here) - but I have to say his work was phenomenal and for that I'm very happy. If your OB has trust in him/her then feel good about that, even though you'd probably like to smack him/her.
Feel your feelings...the good ones and the bad ones. Repressing your feelings isn't good for you or baby. Vent in every way that you need to. Keep talking to your OB. You are going through a big challenge and handling it with dignity and grace. Keep going. There are lots of internet connections across the country and probably across the world who are pulling for you and your little one.
I'm super busy, but wanted to respond quickly to two things.
1. My first MFM was doomsday central. They gave me so many scary statistics. Like "You have a 50% chance of your hernia rupturing. If it does you have a 50% chance of dying." For real. That was one of them. It was so scary we almost didn't get pregnant in the first place (this was a consult), but after time we talked to the OB and although statistics can be scary, you kind of absorb them after a while. You are already pregnant and I KNOW hormones are crazy and all that, but TRY not to stress too much about the doom and gloom. You have this information now. You can't do anything to change it. So try to put it aside and focus on that growing baby. Some days I do better than others, but it can be done.
2. 32 weeks is also my magic number. If everything continues to look good it will get pushed back, but if they see anything strange past 32 weeks, baby comes out. No waiting. So although it seems really early, there must be something really magical that week. I've had my whole TTC and pregnancy to know that number. We are looking at closer to 35 weeks now, but 32 is still creeping up quickly and could be when I have a baby!
BASICALLY, all this nonsense above is trying to say that I'm there with you. I sympathize completely. If you ever need to talk or vent I can always listen. Pregnancy itself is a mindfuck. Add in any crazy health issues and they may as well sedate you and lock you up. :-) GOOD LUCK! I will be thinking of you!
Dude, you don't have to be the worst off person in the universe in order to be entitled to worry and feel pain/sorrow. A hysterectomy would be a BFD to most any woman. It's a lot to process for sure.
But, it does sound like there is lots of hope still for the baby and even for avoiding the hysterectomy. Wishing you the best of luck on all health fronts. (Hugs)
Thanks ladies! I actually feel 1000 times better today which is also one more day down.
MrsAggie - thank you for the explanation re: 32 weeks. Ironically, I didn't question it when I actually spoke to my OB, however, as soon as our convo was finished I had about 100 questions for her I forgot to ask. I planned to bring that up next time I saw her. Makes sense when explained like that. Do you know if there is some sort of test like an amnio usually done around then if the doctors plan to deliver that early to make sure baby's lung function is developed enough?
orangeglow - thank you for sharing your story. I felt bad "liking" it but it really helped knowing someone else relates and how you have been able to cope. From what I gathered yesterday, my doctors will take a similar approach. 32 is the magic number but they will wait and see how everything goes after that point if there are no immediate emergencies. Also, while the bedside manner of my MFM is definitely gruff, I appreciate the honesty and the fact she isn't blowing hot air up my ass. If she could work a bit on her delivery, I think she could be a truly superb all around specialist. I do trust her which is the most important thing.
I don't normally post here, but saw this on the app. I had a previa and delivered at 33 weeks. 32 weeks is huge from a lung development standpoint which is why they throw that number out there. Don't beat yourself up about the feelings you have. Every day I think about how I was robbed of a normal pregnancy, the likelihood I will never have a normal pregnancy ever, and very likely that I actually won't have another child at all because of the risks. They are real feelings, it's okay to have them.
toutsuite No, there's no test. They'll make sure you've had your 2 doses of steroids (which speeds up baby's lung development) and then they'll deliver as necessary. I've had babies do well with 1 dose of steroids so again, try not to get caught up in numbers if an emergency arises. The NICU can also give surfactant once baby arrives which is another treatment for baby's lungs. Usually babies born less than 35 weeks will need a little time on CPAP just for the pressure to help expand the alveoli in their lungs. Some kiddos only need a few hours and then they're on room air!