If you are feeling like you might harm yourself please call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1.800.273.8255. There are good people there who can help you work through these feelings.
Seriously. Why? I'm not worth it. So tell me what else is?
Worth what exactly? You're worth the world to your loved ones. I hope one day you know your own worth as a person. Good luck and if you're in a bad place call a trusted friend or relative or professional. You're worth a call at least bliss.
Hey, bliss. I wanted to tell you that I have loved following your journey and you remind me of so many other young single women who are getting into their careers and building their life.
I'm worried for you in reading this post - are you thinking of hurting yourself or taking your own life? Don't. We care about you. The current job situation is just temporary - don't come up with a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I too have felt worthless and hurting - just get through this next minute and the next one after that. Distract yourself - I have go-to's of funny videos or podcasts I watch to distract me to get through the next minute.
I recommend a funny podcast to everyone - it's called Go Bayside if you like making fun of that old 90's show, Saved by the Bell. Or I listen to Howard Stern or I watch clips of Maury on YouTube - something mindless and funny.
We're here for you. My husband's suicide ruined my life - I'm not afraid to say that. He felt it was for the best and that he was doing everyone a favor - he felt he was a burden but he was incredibly wrong. Suicide ruins lives in ways you can't even imagine.
Thank you. I called the hotline last night and again this morning. I'm headed to Vegas to stay with my best friend for a couple days. I fly to slc Thursday for the weekend.
I'm not sure what's next. I just know I don't want to be alone. I'm scared what I'll do if I'm alone in the house all day.
BF has a gun and I just. I can't. I told him to hide it.
I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown. I feel like I'm falling apart.
Oh sweetie. There are many of us here who care about you. Please pm if you ever want to talk (I won't be online until tonight, but will respond when I am!).
I know you have a lot of people who care IRL too so I am glad you are reaching out to them. This is a tough period in your life but it is just one period of a lifetime. This too shall pass.
Please be kind to yourself. It is worth it, even though at the darkest times it may not seem that way. I hope some time with your friends and family will help you see that. Hugs for you.
Thank you all!! Seriously, I can't express how much it means to me.
Enjoy your time in Vegas. I hope seeing your friend is just the medicine you needed. But if you are still feeling this way when you get back, please promise us that you will go to the ER. With no income, you should qualify for Medicaid. {{{hugs}}}
Post by explorer2001 on Aug 25, 2014 12:49:59 GMT -5
Seriously look into Medicaid in your state. You might qualify for free or subsidized insurance.
Don't try a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it doesn't feel temporary. I've been too close to that edge before (plans made, urge to just not hurt anymore, etc) but I'm glad I didn't act on it.
If you only have here, if you only have one friend, if you only have you, you are still worth fighting for.
Please hang on. Please get help. Please let us know how we can support you.
I am so glad you are going to see your friend. Please be honest with him/her. Also, tell them NOT to leave you alone. If you need to go to the ER, go to the ER - I get that you have no insurance, but if you were bitten by a shark and your arm got cut off - you'd go to the ER and deal with it later. Same thing - depression is a life threatening shark bite sometimes and you gotta go get bandaged up - there's no shame/stigma in that.
She had a qualifying event and should able to qualify for MediCal since she just got approved for food assistance. I qualified for MediCal and turned it down because I could pay OOP for a plan.
Thank you. I called the hotline last night and again this morning. I'm headed to Vegas to stay with my best friend for a couple days. I fly to slc Thursday for the weekend.
I'm not sure what's next. I just know I don't want to be alone. I'm scared what I'll do if I'm alone in the house all day.
BF has a gun and I just. I can't. I told him to hide it.
I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown. I feel like I'm falling apart.
Go to the ER. This is a life threatening emergency and don't give a second thought to insurance. Please bliss. This is serious please get the help you deserve. Update us. If you're comfortable. But this is very worrisome.
Post by jerseyjaybird on Aug 25, 2014 13:17:10 GMT -5
Bliss, please go to the ER. There are wonderful people there ready and able to help you. I've seen firsthand how life-changing taking this step can be. What you feel right now is temporary.
Post by liveintheville on Aug 25, 2014 13:17:37 GMT -5
See if your friend will come to you and go to the ER with you. That way you're not doing it alone. And despite the insurance issue I really think you ought to go. Hoping for the best for you. Honestly.
I'll be applying for medicad this week. I need to get back into therapy. And maybe medication.
Seriously thank you. Telling you guys helped me tell bf, my mom and reach out to friends.
I'm still feeling unworthy. But the "urge" isn't as strong as it was a few hours ago.
ETA - I told my friend not to leave me alone. I've put a handful of people on high alert to check in on me. I'm still scared I might hurt myself but grateful for this place, my mom and my bff.
I knew I was feeling down but it all came to a breaking point last night. I've been feeling unworthy since I got let go. I feel like I've been living a lie the last 2 months. It really affected me more than I realized.
It just hit like a ton of bricks and all those feelings I felt 10 years ago came back.
I'm staying in Vegas til Thursday and then I fly home for the weekend. I think a week of family + friends will help. Then it's back to SD for therapy and getting a support system in place.