So while I don't feel like I am at optimal health (I mean, I was competing in triathlon and running 15+ miles a week, plus crossfit pre pregnancy so my bar is high) I am greatly enjoying being pregnant. I am lucky that I have not been sick, just kind of tired. I don't feel magical, but I am not wishing it over anytime soon.
Yeah, my SIL is someone who says she loved every one of her pregnancies. So I'm sure they are out there.
It's amazing how different each pregnancy can be between women and even between pregnancies! I just can't fathom this being enjoyable at the moment. I envy you ladies!
When it takes years to get here, and for some of us requires invasive testing and shots and meds, the idea of being pregnant is amazing. I feel guilty every time I complain about being tired or not feeling well, because I know a ton of people who would give their right arms to have what I have.
I'm not trying to be an IF martyr, but sometimes it helps to see where others are coming from.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I dealt with IF for about two years (and I know that is a short time compared to many people). I went through all the tests, clomid crazies, then the injections and constant monitoring and blood work. I had two miscarriages before this one finally stuck and right before this my marriage was taking a nosedive b/c H wanted to stop trying and give up and I wanted to keep on.
I am BEYOND thrilled to finally be a mother and I cannot wait to meet my daughter at last.
BUT - it doesn't mean I have to enjoy my pregnancy. I've also had a lot of issues with the pregnancy (luckily, none have a negative effect on my baby) and at first felt really guilty at not loving every minute of it. Many of the things I'm dealing with go beyond "not feeling well".
But in reality, no matter what emotional and physical drama I had to go through to get here, I'm having a hard time with many symptoms and just do not like being pregnant. To me, it is a ends to a means. I've been mommy-to-be guilted into believing that because I dealt with IF and losses that I should love this and I don't. And I refuse to feel guilty about it.
Post by rachelgreen on Aug 25, 2014 19:06:26 GMT -5
While I personally didn't say you couldn't feel the way you do about pregnancy Odonata, you were the one saying that all those who love it are full of shit. Which is...bullshit.
For my own pregnancy, yeah I haven't thrown up every day but it doesn't mean I haven't had my share of crappy points. I refuse to apologize for not feeling guilty about loving it. So I guess that makes us even.
When it takes years to get here, and for some of us requires invasive testing and shots and meds, the idea of being pregnant is amazing. I feel guilty every time I complain about being tired or not feeling well, because I know a ton of people who would give their right arms to have what I have.
I'm not trying to be an IF martyr, but sometimes it helps to see where others are coming from.
I have been trying to think of a way to say this all afternoon without it coming across super snatchy.
Thank you for articulating it so well.
I know I am just at the very beginning, and even the few days of feeling absolutely terrible probably are nothing compared to what's to come, but I have never been so happy to feel like shit LOL
I'm not saying everyone has to luuuurrrvvvee every day of their pregnancy, but it is especially grating when someone who went through IF themselves, and who bitched about IF with people on TTTC, is always so negative and complaining about pregnancy when they are lucky enough to actually get pregnant and others can't, or continue to have multiple losses.
What I'm "bitching" about are the comments from people about how this is the best time in a woman's life. It's hard to answer "aren't you just loving it?" when I'm not.
I feel justified in my honesty about just being over being pregnant. There have been so many threads where others have given the same statements on here so I'm not sure why I'm being shamed in admitting that I don't like pregnancy.
But, here is just another example of how other people have to lay the guilt on. I'm not over there on TTTC complaining about being pregnant. And I'm not the only one here on this board who have complained.
While I personally didn't say you couldn't feel the way you do about pregnancy Odonata, you were the one saying that all those who love it are full of shit. Which is...bullshit.
For my own pregnancy, yeah I haven't thrown up every day but it doesn't mean I haven't had my share of crappy points. I refuse to apologize for not feeling guilty about loving it. So I guess that makes us even.
I never said you had to feel guilty about loving your pregnancy. I've got no hate towards anyone who loves what they are going through.
I'm sorry if I offended you, that wasn't my intent.
While I personally didn't say you couldn't feel the way you do about pregnancy Odonata, you were the one saying that all those who love it are full of shit. Which is...bullshit.
For my own pregnancy, yeah I haven't thrown up every day but it doesn't mean I haven't had my share of crappy points. I refuse to apologize for not feeling guilty about loving it. So I guess that makes us even.
I never said you had to feel guilty about loving your pregnancy. Â I've got no hate towards anyone who loves what they are going through.
I'm sorry if I offended you, that wasn't my intent. Â
My guess is that everyone that responded after me was rubbed the wrong way by the initial post from you. I only said the guilt part in response to your follow up. It's just being tit for tat. No more no less.
Again, it's fine to vent and to feel like this is a crappy period of life...just try not to make such sweeping comments that can upset others.
It kind of felt like you were shaming those of us who are enjoying our pregnancies. I think that's where our frustration comes in.
Sorry, that was really not where I was coming from at all! I have no ill feelings towards anyone who love their pregnancy (if anything I'm envious!), but I do get irritated at people who make comments on how I MUST be loving mine b/c I suffered with IF.
Oh good lord. They had ham sandwiches at my baby shower yesterday, big whoop.
I posted this in the mom to be thread but I wonder if my iron is low. I'm soooo flippin tired. Is this just common? I felt like when I hit 2nd tri I was great and the last month I have been exhausted. I know the babies are growing like crazy so maybe my body is wore out. I nap so good on the weekends but then at night I sleep like crap. I could literally close my eyes at my desk and pass out. And it's hard to not nap after work but if I keep myself busy then I won't.
My ob warned me around the time that I did my GD test that I may get low iron results as well and that is it common. Mine ended up being fine, but if you're somewhere around 24-28w, then I think it is very possible
It is officially getting hard to bend over. I cleaned the bathrooms tonight and had to sit on the floor to clean the toilets. Not a pleasant experience... perhaps it's time for H to take over bathroom cleaning.
I threw-up for the first time this pregnancy after dinner this evening. I had no idea it was coming...at all. That kind of took me for surprise but in some sick way it made me feel good about the pregnancy. DH felt bad and brought me ice cream.
I was at Bed Bath and Beyond yesterday and was in an isle next to an older (though not elderly) gentleman. As I am looking at shower curtains a huge group walks by, to include my DH. Just as they are going by, this older gentleman starts ripppppppppping gas out of no where, and everyone is looking at MEEEEE like I did it. It was SO LOUD! The guy just kept on shopping like it was NBD. I ran the f out of there and was mortified since it seemed like everyone just ASSUMED it was the pregnant lady since they all looked at me. How embarrassing.
It is officially getting hard to bend over. I cleaned the bathrooms tonight and had to sit on the floor to clean the toilets. Not a pleasant experience... perhaps it's time for H to take over bathroom cleaning.
This is why I finally broke down and hired a cleaning service for the first time ever. No lies, it's great - they're not quite up to my standards of insane cleanliness levels, but it is absolutely better than me killing myself to scrub the tub. And saves me a lot of hours on the weekends to now devote to pregnancy/baby stuff.
I think it's easier to feel this way when you're having an easy pregnancy (which, except for my negative body image when nothing fits or the scale goes up, I totally am so far). So most of the time - yeah, I feel so thankful that I'm pregnant and things are finally, finally falling into place for us. But I will not lie when I say I was pretty damn pissed every night when that progesterone shot hit my booty. Even the miracle of being pregnant after IF and the gratitude I feel did not stop that feeling! No guilt.
ETA: I also wonder if we feel this way b/c it's second tri and this is the stereotypical "awesome" period of pregnancy. Will I still feel like a miracle goddess when I'm 38 weeks, enormous, and barely able to waddle along down the street? TBD....
Well I did my share of PIO so I understand that feeling As much as I knew the shots helped they sucked balls. I felt great when 2nd tri started and now I feel like poo. I try soooo hard to not complain because I KNOW it will get worse at the end.
Agreed, except I really do like watching my belly grow. Weirdly, I want to be one of those huge, unmistakably pregnant ladies. So I'm really hoping that gets me through the "worst part" at the end. And obviously it's soo much easier now that I'm finally pregnant to watch other huge, unmistakably pregnant ladies and not feel a rash of terrible, mixed emotions. This is the first summer in about 2 years I haven't been a little bit sad.
I still have nerve damage on the left down my thigh from my PIO shots. I can hardly squeeze the bottle of kitchen cleaner because my hands hurt so much. I've grown out of my maternity jeans, my rings, my bras and my shoes. I bleed every time I take a shit. I throw up in my mouth a little at least once a day because I get hungry and forget to stop eating because my stomach is a little small. Last night I think the baby was trying to escape through my belly button. The other night I woke up with awful charley horses in BOTH calves at the same time.
And I still want to slow down time - I'm so sad already that this pregnancy will be over soon. It's all I've wanted for five years. I know this isn't a pissing contest but I've been through A LOT A LOT to get here, and I think it absolutely colors my attitude. And I shouldn't feel guilty about that either. I finally get to do this!!! It's amazing. I love science. lol.
I like this post. These are both off-topic, but:
1. I'm so glad I'm not the only one the bolded happens to. OMG, so terrible.
2. Rex, my money is on you for "spontaneous" second pregnancy after years of IF. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just will not be surprised if you one day post that you've got an "oops" baby after this pregnancy. I certainly hope this comes true.
I try to limit my complaining because I know some days suck more than others but I am so very thankful for having this opportunity to go through this a second time. This will be my last time and each time the I can see the baby kick from the outside it makes me completely forget about the pains. (at least for that brief minute)
I'm one of those who has had multiple losses, and I love being pregnant. I used to high five DH when I told him I wasn't feeling well or had just thrown up. I also am pretty big for how far along I am, but when people ask me if I am having twins or repeat my due date incredulously, I really don't care. I love having a big belly. It wasn't easy to get and I will enjoy it while I have it.
I don't think that everyone has to feel the same way, and am trying to not count my chickens since I have a long way to go and know that I will continue to get more and more uncomfortable. For now I will happily prop up my swollen feet, pluck my new bellybutton hair, and stuff my newly stretch marked milk bags into my granny bra.
Post by feistypants on Aug 26, 2014 19:04:23 GMT -5
RexManningDay, I am so stupid excited for you that I can't stand it.
There was a three hour period today when I wasn't nauseated. I panicked and immediately assumed the worst. I happily resumed being sick on public transit on the way home. Luckily, there was no cookie tossing.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Aug 26, 2014 19:48:18 GMT -5
Another happily pregnant after two losses coming in! I love being pregnant! Is it fun and I feel better than ever 100% of the time- no (in fact, 1st tri with all the m/s, fatigue, and shots was horrible and I'm still not feeling that 2nd tri awesomeness everyone talks about)...but I wouldn't trade this for anything! Little C is such a blessing (one that I have spent so much time praying for over these past 2+ years) and feeling his little kicks has to be the best, most distracting feeling I've ever experienced. Having had two losses and never experiencing these moments, I want to cherish every moment that I can! I know that as excited as I am to meet him and hold him that I will miss these little moments once he's here!
So happy to see so many of us IF/loss(es) ladies over here having successful pregnancies!