Need warm fuzzies

[explorer2001]

I just broke down crying at work. It's all too much. I can't physically keep up with everything I need to do at home, at work, the most basic self care (ex I'm still too weak to blow dry my hair, I haven't mopped over vacuumed in over a month, etc). My doctors office is finally reaching out to the pain specialists. I have had to buy new clothes and luggage and all kinds of crap on top of all the extra medical bills because I've gotten too fat to fit in my clothes ( I can't work out much and cooking one handed is interesting) and I can't lift anything so I needed spinner luggage for my business trips. I know they are cross training people at work but that's not in time to help with the up coming deadline, etc. I know I'll get through it but it just sucks so much that everything is such a struggle. I just feel like I'm a complete mess, failing everyone because I can't keep up and completely falling apart and exhausted. I worked so hard, gave so much to other people and I end up a used up unattractive wasted shell with no one who cares beyond what I do for them, produce etc.

Also since I started crying I basically can't stop. I think its because of the physical pain but I'm not sure.

[lime]

((explorer))

Do you have anyone that you can reach out to today that is in your town? We are here for you but you might need more support than we can provide.

[raangoli]

I'm so sorry. I hope that the pain specialists can provide some sort of relief for you. Hugs to you.

Can you take a little time off for to just be kind to yourself?

[Deleted]

((hugs))

I feel you girl. Call a friend / family member or just someone you can talk about it with.

[Deleted]

Ohhhh (hug1)explorer2001(hug2) I've totally been there. I'm so sorry.

I can't remember the details of your medical situation. Is work stress playing in to it?

Can you sit down with your manager and ask for assistance prioritizing your projects, especially in the face of a looming deadline? I've done that recently. I sat down in his office (with tears in my eyes), and said, "look, I'm not going to make this deadline. Or that one. Which of the two is more important? How can we re-juggle this?" He was surprisingly receptive.

Of course, I also worked 57 hours of overtime last month, so...

Hang in there. I'm so sorry. Can you hire a housekeeper to do a one-time clean up? I always feel more sane when the house is clean.

[UnderProtest]

Hugs. You have been dealing with so much for so long. Can you take a leave of absence at work? You need to take care of yourself before you try to please everyone else. This is the one time that you have to ASK for help from your friends (or extended family if they are decent). You can't do this by yourself anymore. This is also the time to hire in help....even if its not a great financial move, its a good physical and emotional move. Hugs.

[Pom]

((explorer)) Big hugs. I hope you get relief soon with pain management. Can you ask some friends or anyone to help you with some light cooking/cleaning? What about a Groupon deal for a house cleaning. I think talking to your manager is a good suggestion too.

[Deleted]

Huge hugs. Is there anything we can do to help?

[explorer2001]

Aug 26, 2014 11:54:42 GMT -5 @blissoff said:

((hugs))

I feel you girl. Call a friend / family member or just someone you can talk about it with.

Yeah my family is part of the problem. They are flat out dangerous for me to share any less than great news with. Ex during my divorce my mom said if I had been a better wife my ex wouldn't have been abusive, then brow beat me for months while I was recovering from a surgery about everything that was wrong with me, during my cancer scare she made so much drama about how worried she was that instead of getting any support I was taking care of her emotional trama etc. They think I'm evil because I refused to house sit and take care of their pool anymore when the way they improperly stored the chemicals left me with chlorine poisoning and permanent lung damage, etc. So I know reaching out to them will only make it worse and I don't really need to throw myself on that grenade right now.

ETA: extended family is nice but all out of state.

[crashgizmo]

I'm so sorry. Hang in there. ((((hugs))))

[emilyinchile]

Oh explorer, hugs. I don't know what actual help anyone here can offer, but please let us know if there's something we can do. You've got a lot on your plate, and chronic pain is just so rough. I don't even know you, and I care about you, so I'm sure that there are people who care about you much more than you're feeling in this moment. I wish I could gently pat your injured arm in a soothing way :pat pat pat:

[explorer2001]

Thanks ladies. Just to clarify, I'm frustrated, exhausted and in pain but I'm not anywhere near giving up. Venting helped. The whole situation is overwhelming, but crying actually also seems to have helped. If only because it released a little pressure. It still a long road but I'm going to rock all if it eventually. And someday punch the idiot surgeon who mangled my nerves in the face with a strong right hook rather than this weak shaking mess that can't do much of anything right now.

[Deleted]

Oh, explorer, hang in there. I wish I could send you a gift basket of relief and a puppy to snuggle with.

[genet313]

i'm so sorry explorer.  once you get a handle on this with the pain specialist, can you afford to hire out any tasks that you just can't do right now?  cleaning lady?  sending laundry out?  even once a month would give you some relief.

[aurora]

Lots of virtual hugs and I hope you feel better soon. You've been dealt a tough hand lately.

[orangeblossom]

Man, that's tough. I hope thighs improve for you soon.

Hugs.

[Susie]

Puppy Derkins and her little sister cordially invite you to partake in their warm fuzzy snuggle.  Hugs and hope things get better soon.

[liveintheville]

I'm so sorry. I really hope your pain management specialists come through for you and this phase is short lived

[konapoppy]

Hugs. Pain is so tough. For the home stuff, I vote to hire help if you can or just don't worry about it. It will get done eventually.

[ddi741]

I'm sorry, hope you get some relief soon.

[compassrose]

I'm so sorry. What area of the country are you in? Maybe there are local gbcn-ers who could help. I'd bring you meals if you are local (Ohio. I doubt it.)

[curbsideprophet]

I'm sorry. I hope things start to improve soon.

[AAM2012]

Aug 27, 2014 1:55:28 GMT -5 compassrose said:

I'm so sorry. What area of the country are you in? Maybe there are local gbcn-ers who could help. I'd bring you meals if you are local (Ohio. I doubt it.)

Yes, where are you and can we help in any way?

[audette]

Oh, man. You've had so much crap to deal with for so long.

*hug*

I know I'm not in your area, but maybe a care package would be nice? Is there something we could do remotely to help you out?

[mellymel]

I'm sorry

What can we do to help right now?

[wanderlustmom]

Big hugs!! That is so much. Take care of you first

[explorer2001]

You guys are wonderful. I'm still feeling like rubbish today but not as bad as yesterday. Pains still bad but the doctor finally called and are getting a pain specialist on the case.

I worked just under 10 hours yesterday... we'll see if that's enough. Likely not enough to get the work done but damn I'm glad my bosses love me and are understanding/appreciative of my working through pain.

A friend is coming over to cook me dinned tonight.

[gt7301b]

Hugs explorer2001 I'm glad you have a friend coming over tonight. Please ask your other friends to come and help. Folks are willing to help, but a lot of times don't know what specifically to offer.