Help me out with this....kid related

[jinkies]

I think you are being fair.

My parents policy was always that I had to finish out a current session/season of an activity before I quit. No quitting in the middle. I remember one particularly brutal year of our church's youth choir, but I honored my commitment, then just didn't return the following year.

I think it's a good lesson to learn.

Standard disclaimer that I have no teenagers currently.

[hereigo]

Hell no, you aren't being unfair.

I would have done the same.

[elleblue]

Not at all. You're giving him a time limit or trial period if you will. You won't force him indefinitely, but you're not going to just let him quit on a whim.

[hopecounts]

Nope, you are doing the right thing.
It's important not to let kids quit things too easily.
I think making him wait until his first meet is a reasonable compromise.

[emjacobs]

You have to finish the season once you start unless there is an injury (or your grades are dropping but you don't tell them this) if he decides he doesn't want to run track in the spring that's his decision but once he starts he has to see it to the end.

[jreeds]

Nope, I think you handled it well.

[wambam]

He needs to finish the season and then he can quit.

/not a parent

[aussiecrush]

I think you are being more than fair. He needs to give this a chance.

[bittybomb]

I think you are being fair.

My kids are small, but the approach we plan to take is that the kids each have to pick one activity, whether sport or club, during the school year to keep them busy.  I also think there is something to be said for finishing what you start.

I was a gymnast and a swimmer, and there were times when I wanted to quit one of them, and my mom told me I sure could as long as I was doing something else during that time.  Her favorite saying is "idle hands are the devil's workshop."  As much as I hate the saying, I do buy into the concept.

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2014 14:53:34 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Well, since I can't physically make him go to XC, I guess he's quitting. I'm sad and mad and disappointed.

Aww that sucks. Is there any other structured activity that he might be interested in? 

Can you tell him that he now has to do daily chores and/or errands and if he doesn't he'll be grounded?

I don't know, just a suggestion to get him to do something productive instead of playing video games. 

[usuallylurking]

Aug 27, 2014 14:53:34 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Well, since I can't physically make him go to XC, I guess he's quitting. I'm sad and mad and disappointed.

Also, I arranged my work schedule around his XC schedule so I could go to as many meets as possible. So several weeks, I'm working a shitty schedule. And now it's for nothing.

Although since he's excited to have time for chores and homework, he better have some awesome grades and I'll finally have a clean house!

Do you have a new and improved chore list ready for him? Sorry about your schedule, that sucks. He's old enough to understand that part, too.

[lime]

He knows that you aren't going to let him go play video games with his friends, right?

There's a small chance he might change his mind when he realizes it really will be just chores and HW.

NM - You posted while I was typing. 

[bittybomb]

Aug 27, 2014 15:00:51 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Aug 27, 2014 14:58:25 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Aww that sucks. Is there any other structured activity that he might be interested in? 

Can you tell him that he now has to do daily chores and/or errands and if he doesn't he'll be grounded?

I don't know, just a suggestion to get him to do something productive instead of playing video games. 

I did tell him if he quit, social life would be for weekends (since that's his number one reason for quitting), and we would have mandatory homework time, and he would hAve to start doing Chores again.

He said I was blackmailing him. That pissed me off!

But isn't that the bullshit reason he gave you?  Lol that you called him on it, and he gets pissed.

[MrsPenny]

Aug 27, 2014 14:53:34 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Well, since I can't physically make him go to XC, I guess he's quitting. I'm sad and mad and disappointed.

Also, I arranged my work schedule around his XC schedule so I could go to as many meets as possible. So several weeks, I'm working a shitty schedule. And now it's for nothing.

Although since he's excited to have time for chores and homework, he better have some awesome grades and I'll finally have a clean house!

I would be furious. I understand you can't physically make him go but I'd be seeing red if I rearranged my work schedule and the little shit just decided to quit even after I told them that wasn't an option. I'd have an entire new chore list for him to come home to and quitting would absolutely not free up any extra time for hanging out or video games.

But I am kind of an asshole, so take that fwiw.

[mrsjuleshs]

You are being more than fair. Our rule is, once you commit you are in it for the ENTIRE season.

[usuallylurking]

Aug 27, 2014 15:08:18 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Aug 27, 2014 15:07:27 GMT -5 MrsPenny said:

I would be furious. I understand you can't physically make him go but I'd be seeing red if I rearranged my work schedule and the little shit just decided to quit even after I told them that wasn't an option. I'd have an entire new chore list for him to come home to and quitting would absolutely not free up any extra time for hanging out or video games.

But I am kind of an asshole, so take that fwiw.

Ohhhh, I'm a total asshole! He's going to wish he was running XC.

Also, the weather has been awesome! It's 78* right now. The past few years it's still like 105* out when they're running!

I'd be changing the wifi password. Just saying...

[sebd12]

XC and track took up most of my social time. That was the point. I became friends with my teammates and enjoyed going out to eat after practice or hanging out on saturdays after meets. It also meant I got to drive myself around which was AWESOME.
Since he disobeyed your rule of finishing out the season, is there anything fun you can take away for breaking the rules? I'm not a parent. Seems like discipline gets much more difficult when you can't physically make them get dressed/ go to pre-school, etc.
Does he have video games? That would be the first thing to go if a chore or hw assignment went undone. (I don't recommend chopping them with a lawn mower at this point but I see there's a how-to video online if it gets to that point.)

[my3boyz]

On top of the chores and homework I would not let him sign up for something new in the future. Or at the very least pay him back. I don't know if you put out any money for it yet, but I'd make him pay you back.

[katb]

No quitting in the middle. Our rule has always been a sport/club, etc. At least one (I didn't care what it was - lacrosse, cheer, dance, gymnastics, newspaper...) The only time I didn't make my oldest DD was in her senior year when she was going to college PT and working PT as well. I would force my child, I guess not physically, but more you do the activity or you will be doing nothing (hanging out, friends, tv, etc). (Also as long as there wasn't a reason which I agreed with - social problems, physical problems, etc)

If you are okay with his quitting, then I would definitely have other guidelines = extra chores that will be done, starting dinner, etc.

[penelope]

DS1 is a freshman as well and this year has been a little tough for him in football. Through out 7th and 8th grade he was the fastest, (on the field, on the ice and in track) without even having to try. Now, as a freshman, he is competing against more kids (HS vs MS) and some of those kids have developed in ways that he hasn't yet. They have longer legs and larger muscles than he does, and of course they will be faster. He is having a little bit of a hard time with that. Do you think something like that could be why he isn't loving it like he used too? I have found that when a passion suddenly changes (i.e. "I don't want to go to hockey!!" after living and breathing it for 6 months) there is usually a reason for it. Someone else is being an ass, he made a fool of himself in the last practice...something like that.

I think I would talk with him to find out why he suddenly wants to quit and if something happened. Even if that's the direction it turns and he does quit, as it sounds like it is going, it could be a good time to communicate about whatever the real problem is.

Oh, and agreed, no quitting in the middle, but you can't really hold his hand and force him to run. While it sounds like a good rule, I agree, if he refuses to go make him do other things that suck, like clean the bathroom. :-)

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2014 15:00:51 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Aug 27, 2014 14:58:25 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Aww that sucks. Is there any other structured activity that he might be interested in? 

Can you tell him that he now has to do daily chores and/or errands and if he doesn't he'll be grounded?

I don't know, just a suggestion to get him to do something productive instead of playing video games. 

I did tell him if he quit, social life would be for weekends (since that's his number one reason for quitting), and we would have mandatory homework time, and he would hAve to start doing Chores again.

He said I was blackmailing him. That pissed me off!

Nope, just promising him.