Come In If Your Kid Was in Early Placement for Kindergarten

[luckyval]

Hart is 3 weeks past the cut off date to register for kindergarten next year. He's very bright, reading on a 2nd grade level, 1st grade math. H and I, as well as our DCP and my stepmom (who is an ES counselor) think we could and should have him tested to see if he can place into kindergarten next year instead of waiting until 2016. 

My mom (a former K teacher) has made it her mission to see that this doesn't happen. She will not stop talking about it. We're trying not to engage her too much, but she's relentless. She won't stop. 

I know every kid is different and all that; and Hart still has some progress to make with social skills. 

So, if you were able to get your kid in kindergarten early, how did they do? Was it a struggle to adjust? 

[cbwm1]

So, Will made the cutoff by two weeks, and we went ahead and started him at four (turned five shortly after the school year started).

Academically, he's fine. He struggled a bit socially last year, but he's doing SO much better this year. (And keep in mind we have a mild/high functioning autism diagnosis.)

I think the social maturity thing is a very typical concern for anyone starting their kids in K earlier.

Anyway, I say go for it. He sounds like a smart little dude and he could probably benefit from starting next year.

[cbwm1]

Aug 28, 2014 7:15:29 GMT -5 Les Paul said:

The problem we had was having a 17 year old college student.

I was this kid. I turned out okay. :-P

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

Aug 28, 2014 7:12:45 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Hart is 3 weeks past the cut off date to register for kindergarten next year. He's very bright, reading on a 2nd grade level, 1st grade math. H and I, as well as our DCP and my stepmom (who is an ES counselor) think we could and should have him tested to see if he can place into kindergarten next year instead of waiting until 2016. 

My mom (a former K teacher) has made it her mission to see that this doesn't happen. She will not stop talking about it. We're trying not to engage her too much, but she's relentless. She won't stop. 

I know every kid is different and all that; and Hart still has some progress to make with social skills. 

So, if you were able to get your kid in kindergarten early, how did they do? Was it a struggle to adjust? 

I'm on the opposite end, and we held our son back. I just want to clairfy...you want him to start at 4 years old?

Even though he's smart, social skills do matter,  and I would imagine your mom is coming at this from her expereince as a teacher, teaching super young kids who are smart but not socially ready for school.

I started K when I was four (late Nov birthday, so I met our state's cut off date) and academically I was fine. But I did struggle, through all 12 years with being a little more immature than my classmates. It also sucked rocks in college, being 17 for almost an entire semester and watching my roomates get to do things that I wasn't old enough to participate in.

If you're really going to push him starting early, I'd look into a montessori school that will put him in a room with older kids for his last year of preschool and/or kindergarten year.

[gummybear]

My daughter missed the cut off by six days. We also contemplated testing her to be sent early. After consulting with many educators we decided against it. We knew she could hang academically, and even socially right now. The problem was the social pressures she might encounter down the road, as an adolescent and beyond. It's different now than it was when we were young. Also, a good deal of people redshirt so she would have been in class with some children 18+ months older than she is.

It's a personal decision and you know your child best. However, a lot of public schools around here won't even consider testing early. Parents who want to enter their child early usually go the private school route.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2014 7:18:32 GMT -5 cbwm1 said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:15:29 GMT -5 Les Paul said:

The problem we had was having a 17 year old college student.

I was this kid. I turned out okay. :-P

Ditto, me too.

This was back in the day, but my mom enrolled me early by using a family members address and then since we were military they didn't really question it.

I was supposed to skip a grade in 2nd grade but then my mom got concerned about me being 16 when graduating from high school and starting college so she said no. So I just did a few extra classes in upper grades as needed (I think enlglish and science).

I'm glad I started school early or else I would've been really bored. But now I think everyone has caught up and I'm pretty average

[rupertpenny]

I have no experience but I would definitely look into it. It can't hurt to keep your options open.

B was born in late August, so right before the cutoff in most places, but she was due in Sept and I think I would have tried to start her early if that was the case (and if she was up for it, of course).

[psychmom]

Thats hard. The social aspect of school is a huge part. I was always the youngest in my class as I have a late August birthday and I struggled a lot socially and academically. DSs birthday is early august and I haven't made up my mind on wither he'll start K next year or the year after. He's in preschool this year so I want to see how much progress he makes before I decide. If I had to make the decision now he would wait a year. He's bright and very intelligent but not mature enough.

[Deleted]

DS misses the cutoff by 3 days. He's going to private kindergarten this year, at his preschool, just because that's what works for him and it'll be more like preschool, socially, than Kindergarten. I'm quite sure we'll have him repeat K at the public school next year. He's a very smart kid, but looking down the road, I think it could be very difficult on him when he gets older if he's the youngest in his grade - in many cases by well over a year, because lots of parents hold summer birthdays back. Academics we can easily supplement at home. But I don't want to put him in a situation where he's socially less mature than his peers (who are all older than him).

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2014 7:20:09 GMT -5 gummybear said:

My daughter missed the cut off by six days. We also contemplated testing her to be sent early. After consulting with many educators we decided against it. We knew she could hang academically, and even socially right now. The problem was the social pressures she might encounter down the road, as an adolescent and beyond. It's different now than it was when we were young. Also, a good deal of people redshirt so she would have been in class with some children 18+ months older than she is.

It's a personal decision and you know your child best. However, a lot of public schools around here won't even consider testing early. Parents who want to enter their child early usually go the private school route.

LOL, I realized we just basically said the same thing.  

[luckyval]

Aug 28, 2014 7:19:20 GMT -5 Mrs. ChanandlerBong said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:12:45 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Hart is 3 weeks past the cut off date to register for kindergarten next year. He's very bright, reading on a 2nd grade level, 1st grade math. H and I, as well as our DCP and my stepmom (who is an ES counselor) think we could and should have him tested to see if he can place into kindergarten next year instead of waiting until 2016. 

My mom (a former K teacher) has made it her mission to see that this doesn't happen. She will not stop talking about it. We're trying not to engage her too much, but she's relentless. She won't stop. 

I know every kid is different and all that; and Hart still has some progress to make with social skills. 

So, if you were able to get your kid in kindergarten early, how did they do? Was it a struggle to adjust? 

I'm on the opposite end, and we held our son back. I just want to clairfy...you want him to start at 4 years old?

Even though he's smart, social skills do matter,  and I would imagine your mom is coming at this from her expereince as a teacher, teaching super young kids who are smart but not socially ready for school.

I started K when I was four (late Nov birthday, so I met our state's cut off date) and academically I was fine. But I did struggle, through all 12 years with being a little more immature than my classmates. It also sucked rocks in college, being 17 for almost an entire semester and watching my roomates get to do things that I wasn't old enough to participate in.

If you're really going to push him starting early, I'd look into a montessori school that will put him in a room with older kids for his last year of preschool and/or kindergarten year.

Yes, he would potentially be starting at 4, turning 5 about 3 weeks into the school year. 

Montessori isn't an option (read: $$$). We are looking at charter schools as well - mainly for the alternate class structures that some offer - but they have the same testing and DOB standards as public schools here. 

[dragonfly08]

I have a kid sort of on each side of this.

DD #1 attended K at a private school, so she was able to go a year earlier than the public schools would have enrolled her (they will not test here for early entry to K...they will for 1st ONLY if an approved K program has been completed elsewhere). The summer after she finished K, we moved to a new county and were planning on the public schools...we had DD assessed and she did test into a 1st grade classroom. Socially and academically she's doing just fine (better than...she's now a 6th grader in the advanced program), but I'd be lying if I said it *never* came up that she's younger than all of her peers. Shorter, too, as it turns out since she's only about 25th% so when you add that to a 10 month age difference it becomes more obvious. Right now it's getting iPods and cell phones and staying home alone, but eventually it'll be dating and driver's licenses and I'm not looking forward to it.

DD #2 made the cutoff by a month. Even then, she was competent but not advanced and the social skills were lacking. Long story short, b/c there's a lot to it that I've mentioned in other threads but that isn't really relevant here, she ultimately ended up doing a second year of K and is now going into 2nd grade, right where I think she belongs. While it all worked out, I do sometimes wish I'd listened to that nagging feeling I had while she was still in preschool and just waited to start K even though she was the "right" age the first time around, since I knew she didn't have the maturity level of most other kids her age.

It's a tough call either way. The good news is that there's no right answer other than listening to your gut and doing what's best for your child. You can always get him tested then decide...they may make a suggestion one way or another. Back in the dark ages, when I tested for K, I was academically ready but socially the test showed I was better off not going and that was the recommendation given to my parents. They took it and waited a year to enroll me.

[dowagercountess]

I've been teaching 14 years and your mom is right. Especially for a boy.

[luckyval]

And, truly, my stepmom advised that the testing isn't going to take into account his social maturity - they would look at the numbers.

Testing and all of that would need to start in January, with the formal application process beginning in April. We could go through with the testing, see how he does and then reassess where he is next summer to see if we want to enroll him.

I respect my mom's opinion here, but she's been very gloom and doom - omgah! you'll totally screw him up if you do this!

We're trying to weigh our options are figure out what the best course of action is for him.

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

Aug 28, 2014 7:32:11 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:19:20 GMT -5 Mrs. ChanandlerBong said:

I'm on the opposite end, and we held our son back. I just want to clairfy...you want him to start at 4 years old?

Even though he's smart, social skills do matter,  and I would imagine your mom is coming at this from her expereince as a teacher, teaching super young kids who are smart but not socially ready for school.

I started K when I was four (late Nov birthday, so I met our state's cut off date) and academically I was fine. But I did struggle, through all 12 years with being a little more immature than my classmates. It also sucked rocks in college, being 17 for almost an entire semester and watching my roomates get to do things that I wasn't old enough to participate in.

If you're really going to push him starting early, I'd look into a montessori school that will put him in a room with older kids for his last year of preschool and/or kindergarten year.

Yes, he would potentially be starting at 4, turning 5 about 3 weeks into the school year. 

Montessori isn't an option (read: $$$). We are looking at charter schools as well - mainly for the alternate class structures that some offer - but they have the same testing and DOB standards as public schools here. 

I'll throw this idea out then.

Try him out in K at either the charter or the public school ( if they allow testing and early admission) See how he does socially. If he struggles, have him repeat K at the opposite school.
My older child's birthday was 3 weeks after the cut off date, and we briefly looked into having her tested to go early but our district doesn't allow it. In hindsight it was for the best, because she would have gone from 3 year old preschool to K and she flourished in 4 year old preschool and made friends that she's still friends with today (3rd grade).

[Jalapeñomel]

I may feel differently when D gets ready to go to school, but right now I just wonder why we are all in such a hurry for our children to grow up.

[speckledfrog]

Our district makes it very difficult to gain early entrance into kindergarten. As a PP mentioned, take into consideration how prevalent red shirting is in your area and how many kids will be 6-6.5 if he does go early.

ETA:  Since he is a boy and boys tend to take the extra year before kindergarten, I would really think about how many of his peers/playmates are going to be an entire year older than him.  

[luckyval]

Aug 28, 2014 7:37:15 GMT -5 Mrs. ChanandlerBong said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:32:11 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Yes, he would potentially be starting at 4, turning 5 about 3 weeks into the school year. 

Montessori isn't an option (read: $$$). We are looking at charter schools as well - mainly for the alternate class structures that some offer - but they have the same testing and DOB standards as public schools here. 

I'll throw this idea out then.

Try him out in K at either the charter or the public school ( if they allow testing and early admission) See how he does socially. If he struggles, have him repeat K at the opposite school.
My older child's birthday was 3 weeks after the cut off date, and we briefly looked into having her tested to go early but our district doesn't allow it. In hindsight it was for the best, because she would have gone from 3 year old preschool to K and she flourished in 4 year old preschool and made friends that she's still friends with today (3rd grade).

That's actually not a bad idea either - thanks. I'll mention this to H. 

[shopgirl07]

You know your child best. I feel like the redshirting trend has gone so far these past several years that people can't imagine a child being ready earlier.

I started kindergarten at 4 and didn't turn 5 until December. I never had a problem socially or academically. The cutoff dates are arbitrary so I imagine there are a fair number of kids who miss the date by days or weeks who could be ready for school.

[luckyval]

Aug 28, 2014 7:37:24 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I may feel differently when D gets ready to go to school, but right now I just wonder why we are all in such a hurry for our children to grow up.

He's my baby! A big part of me doesn't want him to grow up!!! 

But he's insatiable too and I can already see that his DCP is taking him about as far as she can. We work with him a lot at home, but I can see that he really would thrive given the chance to go ahead and move up into kindergarten. 

[speckledfrog]

Aug 28, 2014 7:41:30 GMT -5 shopgirl07 said:

You know your child best. I feel like the redshirting trend has gone so far these past several years that people can't imagine a child being ready earlier.

I started kindergarten at 4 and didn't turn 5 until December. I never had a problem socially or academically. The cutoff dates are arbitrary so I imagine there are a fair number of kids who miss the date by days or weeks who could be ready for school.

Many of us went to K when we were 4 because the cut off were so late then.  It wasn't a big deal because all of our peers were in the same boat.  It's different now because he'd be starting early in a world where so many boys (and girls) start late.  I'm not saying it never works, but the age difference isn't something to be dismissive of.   

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

Aug 28, 2014 7:36:34 GMT -5 luckyval said:

And, truly, my stepmom advised that the testing isn't going to take into account his social maturity - they would look at the numbers.

Testing and all of that would need to start in January, with the formal application process beginning in April. We could go through with the testing, see how he does and then reassess where he is next summer to see if we want to enroll him.

I respect my mom's opinion here, but she's been very gloom and doom - omgah! you'll totally screw him up if you do this!

We're trying to weigh our options are figure out what the best course of action is for him.

Fwiw, this was the way most people treated the decision about waiting to send our son to K. I damn near gave myself an ulcer trying to decide what to do, because we knew academically he would have been ok because he went to a great preschool.
We have K teachers in our family, we talked to the school psychologist and had multiple meetings with the preschool teachers. It was very irritating at the time, especially from the preschool teachers, as we felt like we were being talked down to about the situation.

Now that we're on the other side of it, I'm glad we did listen to the teachers, because all of them (preschool and family) were coming at it from a place of concern and care about our son. All of them had taught boys who weren't socially ready and knew what a struggle it was on both ends ( for teacher and student) and wanted him to have a positive experience with his first year at "real" school.

[auntie]

This happened with my younger niece.

Little sister, very bright, kind of a "me too" kid keeping up with her sister and sister's friends. She attended a center based DC with an accredited private full day kindie starting a 4.10 years. She did OK academically, but had some issues as she got older.

She was bright, but emotionally behind her classmates (mostly impulsive) and was sometimes got picked on. By 4th, my mother had custody of her and was facing the constant choice between allowing activities that were more age appropriate for her classmates when she wasn't quite ready for them or dealing with her being left out.

[Deleted]

How is he almost in kindergarten already??

[shopgirl07]

Aug 28, 2014 7:43:55 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:41:30 GMT -5 shopgirl07 said:

You know your child best. I feel like the redshirting trend has gone so far these past several years that people can't imagine a child being ready earlier.

I started kindergarten at 4 and didn't turn 5 until December. I never had a problem socially or academically. The cutoff dates are arbitrary so I imagine there are a fair number of kids who miss the date by days or weeks who could be ready for school.

Many of us went to K when we were 4 because the cut off were so late then.  It wasn't a big deal because all of our peers were in the same boat.  It's different now because he'd be starting early in a world where so many boys (and girls) start late.  I'm not saying it never works, but the age difference isn't something to be dismissive of.   

Right. But my point is, why has redshirting become the norm? I really think it's gone too far and people are holding their children back because it's the trend. You have to consider what's right for each child individually, not based on trends. Maybe Hart will be ready, maybe he won't, but I think it's worth exploring the options.

[wino]

DD's birthday is the cut-off. We chose to send her. Academically it was the best decision. I don't regret sending her. Socially it was a little rough at first, but that was something I expected based on her personality in general and not her age. If we had held her back I feel like she would have been extremely bored with her education. We had several people on both sides. We talked to the school and to daycare about the decision. We felt it was best to let her go to school versus hold her back another year.

DS's birthday is the day after the cut-off. I don't know that we'd even have the option to start him early, but we'll assess it more when he's actually able to go to school.

[gummybear]

I think people are red shirting for a variety of reasons. Kindergarten is a lot more intense than it was when we were kids. Kids are expected to be reading. A lot can read before even coming in, and most, if not all, can read by the time the end of the year. DD was writing sentences/paragraphs (albeit in kid writing) by the end of K. The summer reading book for grade 1 is 63 pages long!

I can imagine this is intimidating for parents. Everything is so competitive these days, and no one wants to see their child struggle. That, and the social issues we keep referencing. Kids have a whole different set of pressure and expectations these days.

[speckledfrog]

Aug 28, 2014 7:46:43 GMT -5 shopgirl07 said:

Aug 28, 2014 7:43:55 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Many of us went to K when we were 4 because the cut off were so late then.  It wasn't a big deal because all of our peers were in the same boat.  It's different now because he'd be starting early in a world where so many boys (and girls) start late.  I'm not saying it never works, but the age difference isn't something to be dismissive of.   

Right. But my point is, why has redshirting become the norm? I really think it's gone too far and people are holding their children back because it's the trend. You have to consider what's right for each child individually, not based on trends. Maybe Hart will be ready, maybe he won't, but I think it's worth exploring the options.

He's not operating in a vacuum. He will be trying to make friends with kids who are 1-1.5 years older than him.  Ignoring the trend may work in theory, but it doesn't change the fact that his peers will be older than him.  Much older.  A year makes a huge difference at that age and you can't discount that.   FWIW, I think one of the big reasons behind giving your child an extra year to grow is the increased demands the school districts place on children.  When we were going to school kindergarten looked incredibly different than it does now.  Again, I'm not saying that it isn't possible or that it never works for anyone, but saying that he should do it because we were fine 30 years ago is short sighted.

[revolution]

I don't see the rush. I'd let him start when he is normally supposed to start. Let him run and play and get dirty. He has the rest of his life to sit and learn in a classroom.

Our district stop letting kids start early. You are simply 5 by Sept 5 and start K or you are not and you wait until you do meet the criteria.

Also, I was one with a birthday 3 weeks after the cutoff, so I turned 6 shortly after K started. I really enjoyed being one of the oldest kids in the class and doing things before my friends could. (like driving).

[jinkies]

I agree with speckled here. I know multiple parents who have held back their boys so they were 6/6.5 when they started k.

No matter how academically ready a 4.5 year old is, they won't be in the same place socially as a 6 year old.

I would probably start him his regular year, keeping open to the idea that he may eventually skip a grade.