I got the following text message from my MIL this morning. She's talking about her 60th birthday party that she planned FOR HERSELF, but sent the invitations on my husband, his brothers and my behalf like we were hosting it (which we are since we are expected to pay for it, about $2,000 for our portion).
Please plan to be present the whole time, 4-8. My sons, ex husband and daughter in law, I am asking you to wear black, silver and red (red tie for the men). Elijah can wear whatever color he wants since red isn't his color, but have him in a suit.
3 minutes later I get the following message on Facebook from my husband's cousin (who is BFF with my MIL, her aunt):
Hey fam, B would like her kids, grandson and family to wear black and red at her party. She wants her boys in black suits, red tie. Also, we will need all hands on deck for decorating Saturday. Lastly, I'll be working on a program and touching base with you all. Please let me know if you have anything in particular you want to do or on the program. Ok!
A program? Seriously? She is 60, not 110. Why does there need to be a program? She walks around preaching all day long about Jesus and G-d. Has she never heard of humilty and humbleness? I bend over backwards all the time to do whatever she wants, but I am seriously considering refusing to go. This is just ridiculous, right?
She freaked out and told me that E looks awful in red and to never dress him in it again a few months ago. She also said stripes are not his thing. She claimed to be surprised since red is her best color.
I am going to text the cousin now and ask what the program book would entail. I'll update when I know more.
I... I... what? There are so many aspects I'm agape at.
Not knowing the dynamic I can't really say whether I'd go or not. But I sure wouldn't put any effort into the "program," or what I wore. And I wouldn't buy my 1 y/o a suit, lol.
We threw my dad a surprise party for his 60th. Our logistical concerns mostly centered on a) good food, and plenty of it; b) live music; c) plenty of drinks; and d) keeping the surprise. lololol at programs and color-coded dress.
Oh, and yeah - I would NOT be buying my 1 year old a suit for this. I'd put him in whatever I damn well please. She really doesn't get to dictate all of this. She really doesn't.
This is the same woman who demands to be called the Glamma instead of Grandma.
My husband thinks it's ridiculous but basically ignores her/doesn't say anything to her and always likes to keep peace, so basically just says ok or uhhuh to everything she says (while really not paying attention). She has taken to only calling and texting me because she knows I feel too guilty to not respond.
Post by barefootcontessa on Aug 28, 2014 7:56:49 GMT -5
this is one of those situation where you tell yourself over and over that you cannot pick your in-laws. did you DH actually agree to pay the $2K? or did she just assume?
No. She is asking you to pay $2K for your portion, telling you what to wear, and to have your baby in a suit???
Just no. I am ragey at her on your behalf!
She told us that we have to split it with one of DH's brothers. The other brother she said does not have to pay because he cannot afford it. She dictated her EX HUSBAND will get the cake that she has chosen.
Post by bostonmichelle on Aug 28, 2014 8:03:22 GMT -5
Oh geez there are no words for this. All I know is you are a way better daughter in law than me. I would've probably laughed in my MIL's face if this happened and asked her to pour me another drink.
I think E would look amazing in red. Maybe a red pinstripe suit?
I am one of those people who loves my birthday and loves it to be all about me, but this is nuts.
And the red thing is hilarious and insane. I would start putting him in red all the time.
I have no idea why you should feel too guilty to stand up to this woman. Did she give you a kidney or something? If not start calling her on her shit. She'll stop once she realizes you won't put up with it.