I was told I take things "too personally" when I argue about things/directions I think are wrong. In formal reviews. Oh. And to "watch my body language".
Which may or may not have contributed to my leaving.
I was once told I "blinked hard" by a black female supervisor. I STILL don't know what that means.
OMG. If I get talked to about my tone one more goddamn time. And then when I see people who don't look like me really going off and nothing is said. Imma really lose my mind and make them think I am a militant black chic.
And I always get outstanding reviews. So fuck you (supervisors) you just don't like that a black woman has an opinion and doesn't have a problem speaking up. And is smarter than you. The end.
Yeah. There is one guy here who is a bully. An outright bully. He yells and berates and belittles people into doing what he wants because he wears them down. I don't even take his calls. Voicemail. Several people have told their bosses they will not work with him. And yet, he continues to work here. He acts all butthurt via email that I am never available by phone. But, I know that one day he will catch me at the wrong moment and his crazy will meet my crazy like this:
I was told I take things "too personally" when I argue about things/directions I think are wrong. In formal reviews. Oh. And to "watch my body language".
Which may or may not have contributed to my leaving.
watch your BODY LANGUAGE? unless this was some sort of public speaking critique I cannot imagine a scenario in which this is appropriate.
I'm trying...I mean...I guess if you were sexually harassing somebody and for some reason they were trying to soften the direction to stop giving people unwanted lap dances?
Literally the first thing I did after I read that was go Google "da fuq gif" because THE FUCK???
Haha. I blinked hard. (idea) Here's a problem that keeps coming up in all these comments. The article, the comments from women--it seems like women's reviews have a lot more subjective commentary in it. How much blinking is too much? When does it become distracting exactly? What exactly do people mean by assertive vs. aggressive? That's a perception and now a boss is grading on a personal view which so dangerous and based on bias. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.
I was told I take things "too personally" when I argue about things/directions I think are wrong. In formal reviews. Oh. And to "watch my body language".
Which may or may not have contributed to my leaving.
watch your BODY LANGUAGE? unless this was some sort of public speaking critique I cannot imagine a scenario in which this is appropriate.
I'm trying...I mean...I guess if you were sexually harassing somebody and for some reason they were trying to soften the direction to stop giving people unwanted lap dances?
Nope. It was that my frustration or annoyance showed on my face and in my posture.
"At times, I think feedback regarding facets of the web redesign were perhaps taken a bit too personally by Curly, and this is noted more so in non-verbals than verbals."
I was described in one performance review as "too friendly". I asked what the FUCK that meant, and my (male) boss was unable to give me an example.
I was told I was not friendly enough to the staff.
I asked for a specific example.
I'm still waiting.
I was floored. I was general counsel, and believe me, the LAST thing I wanted was to be friendly with anyone. I was the enforcer, for fuck's sake. I never gossiped or "visited" or joked around. Too friendly, my ass.
I was told I take things "too personally" when I argue about things/directions I think are wrong. In formal reviews. Oh. And to "watch my body language".
Which may or may not have contributed to my leaving.
watch your BODY LANGUAGE? unless this was some sort of public speaking critique I cannot imagine a scenario in which this is appropriate.
I'm trying...I mean...I guess if you were sexually harassing somebody and for some reason they were trying to soften the direction to stop giving people unwanted lap dances?
I've gotten that criticism as well and it was pertaining to my body language and "presence" at meetings. I have a habit of letting it show when I've checked out mentally or am frustrated-it was very useful to me because now I'm more aware of how others perceive certain actions. I've gotten better at managing it and others have commented on it. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing...
What is with the subjective critique of social characteristics?? At my first review here my boss (female) said that she wanted me to get to know more people outside my team because she "heard comments" from others that they were wondering if I was "a sad person"?
Oh really, so you walk past my office and see me making a concentration face as I work at the computer and the conclusion is that I'm a "sad person". My coworkers and I still laugh about that one.
But I have to side-eye my boss for including the critique. She was all, "I know you're not like this, but you should know what people are thinking". The rest of my review was glowing, I just needed to be more bubbly.
I'm reading all the replies going, "WTF...WTF...WTF." Not at PPs, of course, but at the review comments. Seriously, WTF.
I think what frustrates me most is that it seems most women aren't surprised by this (myself included). I've recently reached my breaking point on passive aggressive comments, laziness, and stupidity, and have been taking a "not suffer fools" stance. Every time I send a (straight forward) message to a colleague I internally brace myself for what reply might return to me. So far, I've been pleasantly surprised and the messages seem fairly well-received. I guess we'll see if it all comes crashing down on me later.