I have an update to the non-cat-feeding neighbor story

[toepick]

pandce.proboards.com/thread/361965/remember-neighbor-asked-babysit-night

SO, I still hadn't received a response from her, and I had noticed that her car had been home during the day when she is normally at work, so I was legitimately worried that something bad had happened (which would have resulted in me feeling like a giant asshole for being so pissed about the failure to feed my cats).

I sent another text asking if everything was OK and that I was worried.  She replied right away.   Turns out that she has been out of town for work all week, and had left early on Sunday morning.  Note - cat feeding was supposed to be Saturday evening.  

"Did you ask [8-year-old daughter] about the feeding the cats?  I thought she did it."

I replied that it didn't look like anyone had fed the cats, can on counter, empty food bowl and water bowl.  

"Before I left I talked to [daughter] about feeding and felt she could handle it without me overseeing.  Maybe I gave her too much credit.  So sorry!!! We'll work to make it up to you!!"


I am confused because she was still here when the feeding was supposed to happen, so even if she sent her daughter over to do it without her - which I would have no problem with as long as she knows how to lock my door - you would think that she would have asked to make sure it was done.  

I'll see the daughter over the weekend and I have a good relationship with her.  I'll just ask if she fed the cats and see what she says.   But let's just say I won't ask them to help ever again.  Or be inclined to help them.  

[ohyouknow]

Hell no. It sounds like an excuse, and I wouldn't ever do another favor for them.

[HiC]

I would never let my 8 y/o dd feed somebody else's LIVING animal that they asked ME to feed. I'd be annoyed.

[spellingbea]

Bullshit. I'm also disgusted at her trying to place the blame on her kid.

[sapphireblue]

Yeah, that is pretty weak.

[DotAndBuzz]

Sounds like she forgot and is blaming her kid. Lovely.

[toepick]

Aug 29, 2014 8:44:18 GMT -5 romymichele said:

Damn, she threw her kid right under the bus.

This was my thought exactly!

[cville]

[nomad100]

Have you gotten your key back yet?

Personally, I wouldn't bother asking daughter. What is done is done - your cat didn't get fed. Don't try to figure this woman out. She is a user.

[Deleted]

Her poor child. Wonder what else crazy woman is going to blame on her kid?

[wino]

I'm not sure I'd be okay with my 8 year old going over to someone else's house to feed their pets without me. I'm sure she's a great kid, but 8 just doesn't seem like a mature enough age for this yet.

[janegold]

How inappropriate of her to expect you to ask her young daughter about this. That's her job as a parent.

[cville]

Aug 29, 2014 8:50:02 GMT -5 @smace said:

Aug 29, 2014 8:23:04 GMT -5 toepick said:

 

I'll see the daughter over the weekend and I have a good relationship with her.  I'll just ask if she fed the cats and see what she says.   But let's just say I won't ask them to help ever again.  Or be inclined to help them.  

and say what "your bitch mom threw your ass under the bus to save her own" 

stop. no. Mom's a shitbird, she didn't do the ONE FUCKING THING she was supposed to. Stop it. Be civil to them when you see them out and about but stop interacting as though you're friends. You are not friends, as your shitbird neighbor has made clear. 

Yeah, don't interrogate the 8 year old.  She's a kid so either she'll feel bad that she forgot, feel bad about throwing her own mom under the bus, OR she'll lie to you because kids are liars and you'll have inaccurate and ineffective information.

[indianchica]

Aug 29, 2014 9:02:15 GMT -5 @smace said:

and this is what I'd say when it comes up "I did not ask little Susie to feed my animal. I asked you, an adult. And you, as an adult, did not do it. That is all I need to know. Have a good day" and for sure get your key back NOT from the child but from the adult.

Can someone help me insert an image where Fez says "I said good day!"

[wino]

Aug 29, 2014 9:05:34 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

Aug 29, 2014 8:51:56 GMT -5 wino said:

I'm not sure I'd be okay with my 8 year old going over to someone else's house to feed their pets without me. I'm sure she's a great kid, but 8 just doesn't seem like a mature enough age for this yet.

I'm pretty sure this is irrelevant because it did not happen.

Valid point. 

[oliveyou]

[Muddled]

Don't talk to the kid about it. It wasn't the kid's responsibility and you already know what happened.

[karmasabiotch]

Let it go and start shunning them.

[toepick]

I'm not justifying her response, just clarifying that it is usually the daughter who feeds the cats if I ask. Mom comes over to make sure door is locked, but kid feeds the cats. She likes the responsibility and is excited to do it. So I usually ask if Kid can feed the cats on Saturday night, knowing that Mom has to be there too. And I haven't been allowed to pay her, since it's teaching her how to be neighborly. I think kid just started 4th grade.

[toepick]

Well, I ask the mom if kid can do it, with the understanding that Mom is here too. Usually I say something like "Can Kid (and you) feed the cats on Saturday." She hasn't been responsible enough to lock the door behind her, so mom is always there too. Kid just is the person who puts the food on the plates. This is not the kid's fault!

[livinitup]

I didn't post this last time, but I had a really bad issue with a neighbor not feeding/caring for my cat. At the time, I was single and traveled. I thought it was a great set-up because this neighbor and her teen daughter were next door - we could see each other's front door. What could be easier - plus, they would watch for visitors/crime. I also paid very well for the favor.

So, after a week away, I came home to a completely disheveled cat. He was covered in his own saliva and blood - which had DRIED. He clearly did not eat, because all of the dry food was still there - and the wet food had ALL been plopped into a bowel - and had DRIED OVER.

It seems he had some kind of panic/distress from being alone so he had excessive saliva which covered him, and he rubbed his paws and gums raw which left blood on his fur. He stopped grooming.

When I saw him, I was in shock at his appearance. He purred and was very happy - AND ACTED TOTALLY NORMAL AND STARTED GROOMING. Having me home and my company was the only thing he needed to resume normal cat behavior.

Anyone who had seen the cat in the previous 12 hours would have seen a VERY distressed cat. There is no way ALL of that - including drying could have happened if anyone had seen him.

So, the next day, when I ask if everything had gone well and if they had seen my cat (maybe he was hiding when they visited?) they totally pretended that they had done their job and everything was fine. Complete DENIAL that they had ignored him and totally blasé about the VET VISIT I need to do because he was so disheveled.

Some people will say anything to cover their own ass. And usually don't care how it affects others. You found someone like that.

[cheeseandcrackers]

NOPE

[pantsparty]

EVEN IF for SOME REASON in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE it was okay to pass off this task on an 8-year-old, WHY would YOU need to be the one asking her if she did it? Why wouldn't SHE, as the person who is responsible for the 8-year-old, ask her about it? And she shouldn't even have to ask her about it! Any normal person would oversee this type of task if they passed along the responsibility to this kid!

So many WTFs. Don't get suckered into helping her out again.

[shopgirl07]

Aug 29, 2014 10:02:34 GMT -5 livinitup said:

I didn't post this last time, but I had a really bad issue with a neighbor not feeding/caring for my cat. At the time, I was single and traveled. I thought it was a great set-up because this neighbor and her teen daughter were next door - we could see each other's front door. What could be easier - plus, they would watch for visitors/crime. I also paid very well for the favor.

So, after a week away, I came home to a completely disheveled cat. He was covered in his own saliva and blood - which had DRIED. He clearly did not eat, because all of the dry food was still there - and the wet food had ALL been plopped into a bowel - and had DRIED OVER.

It seems he had some kind of panic/distress from being alone so he had excessive saliva which covered him, and he rubbed his paws and gums raw which left blood on his fur. He stopped grooming.

When I saw him, I was in shock at his appearance. He purred and was very happy - AND ACTED TOTALLY NORMAL AND STARTED GROOMING. Having me home and my company was the only thing he needed to resume normal cat behavior.

Anyone who had seen the cat in the previous 12 hours would have seen a VERY distressed cat. There is no way ALL of that - including drying could have happened if anyone had seen him.

So, the next day, when I ask if everything had gone well and if they had seen my cat (maybe he was hiding when they visited?) they totally pretended that they had done their job and everything was fine. Complete DENIAL that they had ignored him and totally blasé about the VET VISIT I need to do because he was so disheveled.

Some people will say anything to cover their own ass. And usually don't care how it affects others. You found someone like that.

OMG, this is the saddest thing I've ever heard! I'm so sorry that happened to your poor kitty.

[EmilieMadison]

What kind of shitbox blames their kid?

[sapphireblue]

Aug 29, 2014 10:02:34 GMT -5 livinitup said:

I didn't post this last time, but I had a really bad issue with a neighbor not feeding/caring for my cat. At the time, I was single and traveled. I thought it was a great set-up because this neighbor and her teen daughter were next door - we could see each other's front door. What could be easier - plus, they would watch for visitors/crime. I also paid very well for the favor.

So, after a week away, I came home to a completely disheveled cat. He was covered in his own saliva and blood - which had DRIED. He clearly did not eat, because all of the dry food was still there - and the wet food had ALL been plopped into a bowel - and had DRIED OVER.

It seems he had some kind of panic/distress from being alone so he had excessive saliva which covered him, and he rubbed his paws and gums raw which left blood on his fur. He stopped grooming.

When I saw him, I was in shock at his appearance. He purred and was very happy - AND ACTED TOTALLY NORMAL AND STARTED GROOMING. Having me home and my company was the only thing he needed to resume normal cat behavior.

Anyone who had seen the cat in the previous 12 hours would have seen a VERY distressed cat. There is no way ALL of that - including drying could have happened if anyone had seen him.

So, the next day, when I ask if everything had gone well and if they had seen my cat (maybe he was hiding when they visited?) they totally pretended that they had done their job and everything was fine. Complete DENIAL that they had ignored him and totally blasé about the VET VISIT I need to do because he was so disheveled.

Some people will say anything to cover their own ass. And usually don't care how it affects others. You found someone like that.

Oh, this is so sad and horrifying! You must have been beside yourself. I'm glad he acted normal right away once you returned,but still, the poor kitty (and you!).

[shostakovich]

Aug 29, 2014 10:29:49 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

What kind of shitbox blames their kid?

The same kind of shitbox that doesn't look after a traveling neighbor's beloved pet after agreeing to.  This lady is an asshole.

[Deleted]

Girl, get your keys back and call it a day. Mom is a liar and using her kid as a scapegoat. Its fucked up.

[peachdragon]

Aug 29, 2014 10:02:34 GMT -5 livinitup said:

I didn't post this last time, but I had a really bad issue with a neighbor not feeding/caring for my cat. At the time, I was single and traveled. I thought it was a great set-up because this neighbor and her teen daughter were next door - we could see each other's front door. What could be easier - plus, they would watch for visitors/crime. I also paid very well for the favor.

So, after a week away, I came home to a completely disheveled cat. He was covered in his own saliva and blood - which had DRIED. He clearly did not eat, because all of the dry food was still there - and the wet food had ALL been plopped into a bowel - and had DRIED OVER.

It seems he had some kind of panic/distress from being alone so he had excessive saliva which covered him, and he rubbed his paws and gums raw which left blood on his fur. He stopped grooming.

When I saw him, I was in shock at his appearance. He purred and was very happy - AND ACTED TOTALLY NORMAL AND STARTED GROOMING. Having me home and my company was the only thing he needed to resume normal cat behavior.

Anyone who had seen the cat in the previous 12 hours would have seen a VERY distressed cat. There is no way ALL of that - including drying could have happened if anyone had seen him.

So, the next day, when I ask if everything had gone well and if they had seen my cat (maybe he was hiding when they visited?) they totally pretended that they had done their job and everything was fine. Complete DENIAL that they had ignored him and totally blasé about the VET VISIT I need to do because he was so disheveled.

Some people will say anything to cover their own ass. And usually don't care how it affects others. You found someone like that.

This happened to my poor kitty. We went away for a week or so when I was junior high. The neighbors were supposed to be coming over every day to feed and water her. We got home and my kitty was bone thin and couldn't move. She had to be put in intensive care at the vet for like a whole week. Wtf? My mom did not blame the neighbors, but in hindsight I do think they were culpable. 

[dexteroni]

Oh fuck her for blaming this on her daughter. Don't ask the daughter about it; this has nothing to do with her. And why couldn't your friend reply to your texts from her work trip?

I would reply to friend "But I didn't ask her, I asked you, and you said you would do it. You could have just declined if you weren't going to be here. Although...the feeding was supposed to take place Saturday, and you were still in town then, so I still don't understand how this was left undone by either of you. I'm just relieved that I wasn't gone longer or the cats would have been in real danger."