The last couple weeks, I am reminiscent of my early twenties bad decision making. Sex, drugs, rock n'roll. I am not very good at using my words. I don't know how to explain it. My friends are all married now with kids. I'm in my 30s and engaged. I miss seeing the sunrise after an all night party, not because I need to get to work early. I want to do drugs and get haaaaammmered. Have a one night stand with a random guy because I feel like it. Is this because I'm old? What is happening? Halp me.
Post by lilafowler on Aug 29, 2014 22:08:05 GMT -5
But yeah I miss those days of my early 20's in my first adult apartment in Southie with my BFF-we would just get fucked up every night-our place was the place to be.
Like, my apartment doesn't smell like pot smoke. No one is putting on Tom Petty while we drink shower beers and get ready to go out. I'm not going to wake up in someone else's bed with a headache. No more walks of shame.
Also, this week I have been thinking about a guy I dated right before I met H. I really liked him but it was casual and we stopped talking when I met H except a few conversations here and there. I haven't seen or talked to him in almost 8 years but I keep thinking of him and want to know what he's up to. Wtf, self??
I find this happens to me more when I listen to certain songs. Especially stuff from the younger set about meeting someone you like at a party and just the whole crush feelings, etc. It makes me a bit wistful for that feeling and time in my life.
I also wish I could go back and not do certain things, but I digress. It's all normal
I think it's that I'm missing the freedom to make bad decisions. Like, back then I could think...well, I'm hammered. Is it a good idea to get on the back of this stranger's motorcycle? Noooooooope. Am I gonna do it anyway? Damn right. All of that is gone now and for some reason, I am desperately missing it right now.
I think it's that I'm missing the freedom to make bad decisions. Like, back then I could think...well, I'm hammered. Is it a good idea to get on the back of this stranger's motorcycle? Noooooooope. Am I gonna do it anyway? Damn right. All of that is gone now and for some reason, I am desperately missing it right now.
I love you.
I am sitting on a beach right now one block from my house drinking a bottle of malt liquor and smoking a joint. Eleanor is safe in bed and H is home with her (I feel I need to spell this out for pearl clutchers!).
Like, my apartment doesn't smell like pot smoke. No one is putting on Tom Petty while we drink shower beers and get ready to go out. I'm not going to wake up in someone else's bed with a headache. No more walks of shame.
I'm like, actually kind of upset. Or something.
You can come over anytime. I've got the tunes and the grass covered. Can't promise anything when it comes to the walk o' shame.
Post by sapphireblue on Aug 29, 2014 22:32:59 GMT -5
I get it. But I'll tell you, the older I get, the more I realize you can still do all that stuff (minus the random guys, of course). Sure, in different, more responsible ways, or more rarely. But you don't have to put your old Southie first apartment, hard partying self completely on a shelf, if that makes sense.
ETA: I am 48, I am pretty tipsy right now on champagne, and I am about to go upstairs and have sex with my boyfriend while we listen to rock 'n roll. Last week we were getting stoned in Maine, sitting on a dock there, listening to classic rock, and drinking in the afternoon. Sure, it was my week long vacation but that stuff doesn't have to stop completely. It isn't OVER for you.
I think it's that I'm missing the freedom to make bad decisions. Like, back then I could think...well, I'm hammered. Is it a good idea to get on the back of this stranger's motorcycle? Noooooooope. Am I gonna do it anyway? Damn right. All of that is gone now and for some reason, I am desperately missing it right now.
I love you.
I am sitting on a beach right now one block from my house drinking a bottle of malt liquor and smoking a joint. Eleanor is safe in bed and H is home with her (I feel I need to spell this out for pearl clutchers!).
I get it. But I'll tell you, the older I get, the more I realize you can still do all that stuff (minus the random guys, of course). Sure, in different, more responsible ways, or more rarely. But you don't have to put your old Southie first apartment, hard partying self completely on a shelf, if that makes sense.
I don't want to get high. I want to actually be 19 and high and watching Bob Ross at 11am with my dealer because we skipped class.
I think it's that I'm missing the freedom to make bad decisions. Like, back then I could think...well, I'm hammered. Is it a good idea to get on the back of this stranger's motorcycle? Noooooooope. Am I gonna do it anyway? Damn right. All of that is gone now and for some reason, I am desperately missing it right now.
I love you.
I am sitting on a beach right now one block from my house drinking a bottle of malt liquor and smoking a joint. Eleanor is safe in bed and H is home with her (I feel I need to spell this out for pearl clutchers!).
I get it. But I'll tell you, the older I get, the more I realize you can still do all that stuff (minus the random guys, of course). Sure, in different, more responsible ways, or more rarely. But you don't have to put your old Southie first apartment, hard partying self completely on a shelf, if that makes sense.
I don't want to get high. I want to actually be 19 and high and watching Bob Ross at 11am with my dealer because we skipped class.
Well, I totally feel you here. I know. I can't grasp what happened to all the time since I would walk all the way across campus to class with my stoner friend/s, we'd get there, look at each other, and say "no, let's skip class and go get high" and walk all the way back, feeling giddy because we were fucking 20 years old and we knew it was okay and we were young.
p.s. I made dean's list every semester for anyone judging these decisions...